Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Rune Enoe
Brethren and Sistren
I am sure you are all aware of the alleged contradiction concerning Our Savior's triumphal entry into Jerusalem. According to St. Mark and St. Luke, Jesus told his disciples to fetch "a colt tied, whereon yet never man sat". On the other hand St. Matthew SEEMINGLY contradicts the other evangelists by having the disciples fetch two animals: Matthew 21:2 Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me.
Matthew 21:3 And if any man say ought unto you, ye shall say, The Lord hath need of them; and straightway he will send them.
Matthew 21:4 All this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying,
Matthew 21:5 Tell ye the daughter of Sion, Behold, thy King cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon an ass, and a colt the foal of an ass.
Matthew 21:6 And the disciples went, and did as Jesus commanded them,
Matthew 21:7 And brought the ass, and the colt, and put on them their clothes, and they set him thereon.
I know many skeptics find this uproariously funny - picturing Jesus being mounted on two animals like some rodeo clown, so let me hasten to quote the wise words of the renowned apologist James Patrick Holding: |
Holding is a clown. I suspect he drinks too much.
Consider the sentence:
“The child reads their Bible”, here we see the
possessive pronoun, “their” which is used to indicate
his/her as we do not know if the child is a boy child or the other sort.
Jesus says,
“ Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me.”
In Jesus’s day, asses, colts, donkeys, horses, etc. were as common as automobiles are today; Jesus was thus specifying
a particular ass that was next to a colt.
Now although Jesus knew whether the ass were male or female, He used “
them” to
pretend that He did not.
Why would he do this? Well, He didn’t want to distract the Disciples by showing supernatural knowledge – He just wanted an ass.
Once committed to this
Holy Grammatical Structure, it is difficult to let it go, and so He, in His Wisdom, uses it throughout.
Now we have solved that one, here is the next:
Matthew 21:5 Tell ye the daughter of Sion, Behold, thy King cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon an ass, and a colt the foal of an ass.
Consider the sentence,
“Here is the Holy Grail that is finely wrought and is of gold.” This sentence means,
“Here is the Holy Grail that is finely wrought and here is the Holy Grail that is of gold.”
But how many Holy Grails are there? One!
So when we see,
“…and sitting upon an ass, and a colt the foal of an ass.” It simply means that Jesus is sitting upon an ass,
which is a colt
which is the foal of an ass.”
Quote:
But I think Mr. Holding misses the full implication [Edit EB: I’d put that down to the whiskey.] of what he writes: Why stop at two donkeys? If we turn our gaze onto St. John, we'll see that Jesus didn't wait for the disciples to return with the donkeys. Instead He found another one himself:
John 12:14 And Jesus, when he had found a young ass, sat thereon; as it is written,
John 12:15 Fear not, daughter of Sion: behold, thy King cometh, sitting on an ass's colt.
The answer should be obvious now: There were three donkeys.
|
I think it is important to point out that the bit in the Bible where it says that Jesus will actually Himself find an ass refers to a part that is still hidden from us, but is still in existence. (It is probably on an ancient scroll that is held by some Joo to hide the truth of the Messiah from the Kikes)
OK, Jesus sits on His ass,
“as it is written” but was it
that particular ass that was then ridden? I cannot see that it was!
The scene is Jesus addressing His Disciples:
Jesus:
“Go and get me the ass of indeterminate sex that is tied up near a colt.”
[The Disciples go off, leaving Jesus, Who perhaps whiles away His time doing miracles for ants or something. Jesus becomes bored and instantly performs the unrecorded “Miracle of the Suddenly Appearing Ass”. Thus Jesus
finds an ass
.
Jesus now practises sitting on the ass. He strikes a few poses, He sees how the ass reacts to hundreds of Palm leaves being thrown down, He sees how loudly He has to shout His thanks to His supporters, He practises a few waves to the crowd.
Whilst He is doing this, the scribe, who is there taking notes for the Bible and recording all of this, cannot help himself and, in his enthusiasm and to add verisimilitude to Jesus’s practise ride, shouts, “Fear not, daughter of Sion: behold, thy King cometh, sitting on an ass's colt!”
Then Jesus makes the ass miraculously disappear just before the disciples arrive with the ass of indeterminate sex.]
There was
one donkey/ ass/ colt of an ass/ colt.
Case Closed.
(I would be obliged of Wash O'Hanley would close this threat to prevent malicious comments by atheists and the like.)