Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson
Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?
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Well Brother Elmer, I have not yet been blessed with a True Christian™ wife. But I am a Pastor, and speaking from the perspective of Jesus, I encourage Men to spank their wives at least once a week AT RANDOM. Especially at this time of the year, they tend to get all flustered and even more addle-brained than usual, what with shopping lists, stuffing recipes and baking vast quantities of snickerdoodles, they need a little attention grabber.
A good whipping delivered for no apparent reason really keeps them on their toes, I can tell you.
And don't forget that the Holy Scriptures tell us that women are not only to be obedient, but to be in "subjugation".
1 Timothy 2:11-15
Quote:
subjugate
verb
1. To win a victory over, as in battle or a competition: beat, best, conquer, defeat, master, overcome, prevail against or over , rout, subdue, surmount, triumph over, vanquish, worst. Informal: trim, whip. Slang: ace, lick. Idioms: carry (or win) the day, get (or have) the best of, get (or have) the better of, go someone one better.
2. To make subservient or subordinate: enslave, enthrall, subject.
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We need to follow the Will of Jesus TO THE LETTER, Brothers! So get in there and give her what she deserves for getting us kicked out of the Garden of Eden! And Merry Christmas!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)