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Default Re: American Heroes bravely fight back against oppression - 08-04-2012, 08:25 AM

I'm certain that an establishment with the reputation of Chick-fil-A takes every precaution in selecting its chickens to ensure that they are not tainted with homerism. Just how they go about doing this is probably a trade secret, as I have not been able to determine from their literature a methodology.

We do have to keep our terms straight (no pun intended) here. A "chicken" by definition is a female, so the more correct term would be a lesbian chicken. Roosters are male, so the more correct term for a homer rooster would be a gay rooster.

I think we could take some simple steps to help root out lezbean chickens, and after careful thought we can make the following observations to help identify potential lezbean chickens.

Chickens that walk with long steps
Chickens that cluck loudly with a heavy timbre to their cluck
Chickens that exhibit anti-social behavior
Chickens that go to bars
Chickens that dress up in rooster feathers
Chickens that exhibit a capacity for athletics
Chickens that smoke cigarettes in public
Chickens that prefer Hummus
Chickens that have their head feathers in the shape of a Mohawk
Chickens that are attracted to Subaru's


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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