[Witch Hammer]

The Shining:

Jack Torrence, a family man, retires for the winter to a retreat in the mountains for some well deserved peace and quiet. He plans on writing a Godly piece of literature, and he expects that his wife and child will keep their damn pie holes shut so he can accomplish that task. That's not asking too much, is it?

But peace is not to be had for poor Mr. Torrence. From the moment they arrive, he is hen-pecked ruthlessly by his wife, driven to distraction by his demon possessed son, and cursed by a foul negroe witch doctor.

One evening, Jack is visited by an Angel of God named Delbert Grady. The angel councils Torrence and offers him sage advice on how to correct his feminazi wife and stubborn, willful boy. He also warns him of the continued meddlings of the satanic negroe.

Here is where the story needs a rewrite:

Jack, now charged with the Holy Spirit, grabs the fire-axe and strides up the stairs boldly, taking them two at a time. He kicks open the bedroom door with authority. His corrects them both in the harshest possible way, while shouting passages from Leviticus and Deuteronomy. He then corrects the interfering negroe on the way out the door, jumps in the snow-cat and retreats with Jesus by his side to sunnier climes where he can finish writing his manuscript in prayerful repose. THE END