If you're thinking about moving to Freehold Iowa, this section is for you:
Here is the City-Data Page for Freehold, Iowa
Note in particular:
Quote:
Percentage of foreign born residents: 0.8%
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Hint, hint.
(The 0.8% are staff only, and not members of Landover Baptist Church.)
Church is at most a few blocks away:
It's the square building with the white squares on the roof, south across the steet from the southern end of 17th ct.
The metal-roofed section is the Gold and Platinum tither's garage/tin tithers seating.
The separate metal shack to the west is for women during their unclean time.
Are you in Des Moines?
NO! We are surrounded, besieged if you will, by the sin-filled urban area of Des Moines, but Freehold is a separate city with our own mayor and government/pastors.
Is the area bicycle-friendly?
No! The eco-terrorist groin-massagers known as bicycles are banned by local bylaw. Freehold Iowa is proud to be the city with the highest car-to-human ratio in the world. Look around for yourself.
What about those rumours about the FBI finding a mass grave for illegal immigrant laborers?
The discolored area of grass on the lawn south of the menstrating women's shack is due to an ancient Native American burial ground. Note the earthen pyramid to the south of the Church. Anyone caught desecrating the ancient Native American burial site by digging in it will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law! Also note that the FBI are sick of this rumor and anyone contacting the FBI about it will be charged with harrassing an Officer of the Peace.