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Old 01-06-2011, 11:43 PM
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Lycia The Repentant Lycia The Repentant is offline
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Cool Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today!

Hey kids! Have you ever had to sit in your fifth grade class and listen to your atheist schoolmates drone on and on about how much they hate God and love making him angry by fornicating all the time? Did you then think to yourself "I hate how so many people in the world would rather spit on Baby Jesus than accept His gift of Salvation, but I don't know what I can do to stop it."? Well, I am pleased to announce the formation of a super-cool True Christian™ club that's dedicated to stopping all forms of sexual Godmockery and keeping kids pure until they enter a marriage that can only be left through the most byzantine of circumstances! I'm talking about the Junior Anti-Sex League!



So what is the Junior Anti-Sex League? Why, we're a group of only the coolest youths who are interested in stopping all fornication by attacking it at it's source; by banning birth control and any sexual education that isn't abstinence-only! Here's our mission statement:

"Our mission: To work towards a world where Biblical precepts regarding fornication are rigidly enforced, where marital sex is to be looked on as a disgusting minor operation, and where our children are protected from the corrupting message of any educational approach that doesn't view total abstinence before marriage as the ONLY correct answer!"

Shout Glory! Doesn't that just sound awesome? I might even go so far as to say it's totally radical.

Now, in addition to being a member of a group that's comprised of the coolest kids on the block who like to pay special attention to the parts of the Bible mentioning the wickedness of fornicators (Proverbs 2, 5, 7 and 9 come to mind immediately!), every full member of the Junior Anti-Sex League will receive a red sash to wear around their waist so they can show the world not only how seriously cool they are, but how serious they are about saving it for marriage!

So what are you waiting for, kids? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League today!
__________________
"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.

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  #2  
Old 01-06-2011, 11:50 PM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

What a wonderful, original idea that you have come up with Sister Lycia! I have no doubt many of the problems we face in this world (hurricanes, tornadoes, stock market and economic collapses, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan) are due to God being angry and punishing us for allowing wanton premarital sex to happen among youth. I'd be more than happy to volunteer to devote my time to helping young women in your group learn to protect themselves against the temptation of fornication.
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  #3  
Old 01-07-2011, 12:02 AM
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Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Praise! Now that sounds like the kind of groovy idea that today's youth will really think is "Exceptionally wizard*, dude!"

* Wizard here is being used as a piece of harmless teen slang, and has no actual connection to Satan's Dark Arts.
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #4  
Old 01-07-2011, 01:05 AM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

What ages are you looking at?
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  #5  
Old 01-07-2011, 02:26 AM
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

You can count me in! I'm all about helping kids find JESUS!

Please tell them then can also receive a FREE T-SHIRT for joining my Anti-Masturbation Club!



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  #6  
Old 01-07-2011, 10:11 AM
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Lycia The Repentant Lycia The Repentant is offline
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
What ages are you looking at?
Well, the Junior Anti-Sex League is primarily geared towards young adults interested in a primarily sexless existence, but the group is open to anybody and everybody who is interested in bringing about a world where fornication and pre-marital sex aren't just sins, but sins with appropriate Biblical punishments. The Junior Anti-Sex League is already proud to count the esteemed Rev. Jim Osbourne as not only a member but the leader of the Young Ladies' Division, and we are proud to accept any older members who are interested in steering our nation's children toward a chaste and pure future.

Let me just leave you with this bit of scripture, Sister BiG. We're always on the lookout not only for interested youths, but also for people who can teach them proper True Christian™ values.

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5
__________________
"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.

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  #7  
Old 01-07-2011, 01:38 PM
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MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

This is a superb idea!

One thing that confronts me - and is geared to entrap the young & ingenuous - is the proliferation of "ladies of the night" at the many music and "art" festivals that are so much in vogue. And not only by night! Wanton whores display themselves in full sunlight with no shame, and would entice others into a life of degradation UNLESS they had been educated in how to recognise the signs. Forewarned is forearmed.

*Look what can so soon result (although in Australia - a nation built on compulsory prostitution - this might not be so unusual)
*And we are up against this sort of propaganda!

I can't think about this any more now. I need to go and lie down.
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  #8  
Old 01-09-2011, 12:43 AM
JennySue JennySue is offline
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

This is exactly what I have been looking for!! I, of course, want to wait until I have a husband. It is just so difficult because I attend one of the worst (public) schools in the state and I am always hounded by perverts (for lack of better word) who just will not leave me alone (they even tell me the things that they wish to do to me ), and I believe I need help dealing with it.
Do you by any chance have room left for a new member??
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  #9  
Old 01-09-2011, 12:57 AM
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Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
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Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

As Sister Lycia has explained, only those who have achieved True Christian status qualify for full membership. But I see no reason why you couldn't become an associate member in the meantime. Here in the Junior Anti-Sex League, there is always room to fit another member in.
__________________
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #10  
Old 01-09-2011, 01:08 AM
JennySue JennySue is offline
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Thank you very much Brother Temperance. I must have missed the part about the True Christian status. How would I achieve that status?
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  #11  
Old 01-09-2011, 01:15 AM
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Lycia The Repentant Lycia The Repentant is offline
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Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennySue View Post
Thank you very much Brother Temperance. I must have missed the part about the True Christian status. How would I achieve that status?
Hello Ms. Jenny Sue. As Brother Temperance said, right now full membership in the Junior Anti-Sex League is restricted to True Christians™ and promising forum members. Additionally, the privilege of being sent the official red sash is restricted to True Christians™. However, don't let that stop you from spreading our message of chastity and purity! As leader of the Junior Anti-Sex League, I hereby allow you to consider yourself as a probationary member until we know a little more about you. Please remember that your probationary membership may be revoked if you act in a manner that is unbecoming of the League (not that I think it will be a problem! ).

Glad to have you aboard, Jenny!
__________________
"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.

Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 01-09-2011, 01:20 AM
JennySue JennySue is offline
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
Hello Ms. Jenny Sue. As Brother Temperance said, right now full membership in the Junior Anti-Sex League is restricted to True Christians™ and promising forum members. Additionally, the privilege of being sent the official red sash is restricted to True Christians™. However, don't let that stop you from spreading our message of chastity and purity! As leader of the Junior Anti-Sex League, I hereby allow you to consider yourself as a probationary member until we know a little more about you. Please remember that your probationary membership may be revoked if you act in a manner that is unbecoming of the League (not that I think it will be a problem! ).

Glad to have you aboard, Jenny!
Thank you so very much Sister Lycia! Oh believe me that will never happen! My Father has raised me better then that.
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  #13  
Old 01-09-2011, 10:01 PM
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Brother Scott Brother Scott is offline
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Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Sister Lycia, I am proud to say that O joined your group. I think it's important to spread the word of our Lord and Savior to the younger generation. Sometimes it may be necessary to pound it into them, but in the end, they'll thank True Christians for helping spread the Word of God to their young impressionable minds. I am honestly twitching with anticipation at the thought of soaking them in the Gospel!


You are indeed an inspiration to all of us and keep up the good work!



May God bless you!
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[Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


PALIN/BACHMAN 2016

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