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Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News.

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Old 10-30-2013, 12:39 AM
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Default "Homosexual Demon Made Me Cook My Bible!"

THIS story (brought to us by Glenn Beck's "The Blaze") only confirms my central Theological point: SATAN IS ON THE MARCH, AND QUEERS ARE HIS SOLDIERS!

Quote:
Man Decries ‘Homosexual Demon’ and Reportedly Tries to ‘Cook’ the Bible During Wild Police Stand-Off

When police received a call that a man was “going ballistic” on Wednesday at an Oklahoma City, Okla., apartment, they likely couldn’t have predicted what they’d encounter. When authorities arrived at the scene they reportedly found a bloodied 22-year-old who was screaming, throwing glass objects and burning a Bible in the kitchen.

Jeremy Jarnell Anderson’s apartment allegedly had blood, bleach and other substances on the floor — and a small fire was set near the stove.

When authorities first arrived at the scene, they tried to calm the man down, but Anderson rebuffed their attempts and allegedly expressed interest in fist fighting them.

Anderson reportedly told authorities that he was “cooking the Bible” because he is a “Satanist,” KFOR-TV reports.

But the story doesn’t end there.

According to the police report, Anderson also told authorities that he met a “possessed homosexual demon” who wanted drugs from him and who performed sexual acts on him.

After the man was finally subdued with a Taser and brought to a hospital, though, he reportedly told officers that he was actually just remodeling his home and that he had done nothing wrong.

He did admit to needing medication, police said.

Anderson was inevitably booked in Oklahoma County Jail, KOKH-TV reports, and charged with first degree arson. Other charges could be added.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Old 10-30-2013, 12:53 AM
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Basilissa Basilissa is offline
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Default Re: "Homosexual Demon Made Me Cook My Bible!"

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
THIS story (brought to us by Glenn Beck's "The Blaze") only confirms my central Theological point: SATAN IS ON THE MARCH, AND QUEERS ARE HIS SOLDIERS!
They forgot to mention the most important thing in this incident: was the Bible in question a KJV edition? If it was a KJV Bible, then there's no question the man was possessed by a demon. If it was not KJV, maybe the poor guy just got frustrated reading through a mistranslation of God's Holy Words.
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