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Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting.

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  #1  
Old 12-19-2013, 12:41 AM
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Default Engagement and Boston

Ladies, I am thrilled to be able to say that in a week, I will be Mrs. Henry Patton! Unfortunately, I met Henry when he came down to Texas to visit his parents. He lives in godless Boston for work, and when we marry, I will move there. Any advice about marriage and living a godly life in a godless place would be much appreciated.
YIC
Anna
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  #2  
Old 12-19-2013, 03:31 AM
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Basilissa Basilissa is offline
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Anna Robinson View Post
Ladies, I am thrilled to be able to say that in a week, I will be Mrs. Henry Patton! Unfortunately, I met Henry when he came down to Texas to visit his parents.
Why is that unfortunate, dear? Are you unhappy to marry a Godly man?

Quote:
He lives in godless Boston for work, and when we marry, I will move there. Any advice about marriage and living a godly life in a godless place would be much appreciated.
YIC
Anna
How about all threads in this subforum, sweetie?

Start with this one:

Biblical Tips That Guarantee A Godly Marriage

And work your way down through the 285 threads here.
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  #3  
Old 12-19-2013, 04:10 AM
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Anna Robinson View Post
Ladies, I am thrilled to be able to say that in a week, I will be Mrs. Henry Patton! Unfortunately, I met Henry when he came down to Texas to visit his parents. He lives in godless Boston for work, and when we marry, I will move there. Any advice about marriage and living a godly life in a godless place would be much appreciated.
YIC
Anna
Praise the Lord ... congratulations, Miss Anna! Have you set a date yet? I bet you're counting down the minutes until you and Mr. Patton can start producing little Soldiers, as is the Godly purpose of us women.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
How about all threads in this subforum, sweetie?

Start with this one:

Biblical Tips That Guarantee A Godly Marriage

And work your way down through the 285 threads here.
As usual, Basilissa has provided gentle guidance as to where you might find the answers you seek. And don't forget: it's not where you live that matters, it's where JESUS lives! Which is everywhere! When you let Him live in your heart, you dwell in the house of the LORD!

Jesus is always with you, even when you poop. Isn't it comforting to know that you are never, ever alone? That He is always watching?
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  #4  
Old 12-19-2013, 08:23 PM
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Why is that unfortunate, dear? Are you unhappy to marry a Godly man?



How about all threads in this subforum, sweetie?

Start with this one:

Biblical Tips That Guarantee A Godly Marriage

And work your way down through the 285 threads here.
I am very happy to be marrying a godly man. What I find unfortunate, is moving to an ungodly place. Of course, I wouldn't want to complain about the blessing of marriage that I have been granted. Thank you for the direction to the sub forum. It's very helpful!
YIC,
Anna
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  #5  
Old 12-19-2013, 08:26 PM
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Paddy McIrish View Post
Praise the Lord ... congratulations, Miss Anna! Have you set a date yet? I bet you're counting down the minutes until you and Mr. Patton can start producing little Soldiers, as is the Godly purpose of us women.



As usual, Basilissa has provided gentle guidance as to where you might find the answers you seek. And don't forget: it's not where you live that matters, it's where JESUS lives! Which is everywhere! When you let Him live in your heart, you dwell in the house of the LORD!

Jesus is always with you, even when you poop. Isn't it comforting to know that you are never, ever alone? That He is always watching?
We intend to marry on December 23rd. It's soon, but I don't think I could wait a moment longer! I look forward to producing soldiers and fulfilling that duty. Thank you for reminding me that a godly place is a godly home.
YIC,
Anna
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  #6  
Old 12-19-2013, 08:33 PM
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Anna Robinson View Post
I am very happy to be marrying a godly man. What I find unfortunate, is moving to an ungodly place.
Well, dear, I'm sure you will find a Godly Christian Church in Boston, and since you will be homeschooling your future children (right?), you will be able to shut your family off the so called "real world" and keep everybody in the bubble safe shelter of a Christian community!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Anna Robinson View Post
We intend to marry on December 23rd. It's soon, but I don't think I could wait a moment longer! I look forward to producing soldiers and fulfilling that duty. Thank you for reminding me that a godly place is a godly home.
YIC,
Anna
That's great news, honey! That means that after your wedding, you will have plenty of time to prepare a Godly Christmas feast for your husband's entire family!
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  #7  
Old 12-20-2013, 12:00 AM
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

I will certainly homeschool my children. I shudder to think of the lies that those atheists and evilutionists teach in public school. Mr. Patton's favorite pie is a lemon meringue pie. It's his mother's recipe, and I've been practicing so I can make it like she does once we marry.
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  #8  
Old 12-20-2013, 12:41 AM
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Anna Robinson View Post
We intend to marry on December 23rd. It's soon, but I don't think I could wait a moment longer! I look forward to producing soldiers and fulfilling that duty. Thank you for reminding me that a godly place is a godly home.
YIC,
Anna
Wouldn't it be simply wonderful if you and Mr. Patton conceived a Soldier of Christ on CHRISTmas?

You will probably increase your chances tenfold by mounting a picture of the sweet Baby Jesus, with His cherubic face and halo of golden curls, in your bedchamber. Then both of you should stare intently into His guileless blue eyes whilst coupling, which will no doubt ease the burden of this wholly unpleasant (yet necessary) act of procreation.

I will retire to my prayer closet immediately to implore the Lord for success in your marital bed! And remember: Jesus is always watching ... even when you "be getting' busy" (as my old Negra housekeeper used to indelicately say).

Isn't that a comfort to know?
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  #9  
Old 12-20-2013, 01:17 AM
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Miss Anna, Glory! I hope you have spoken with a true Christian woman to get some advice regarding your responsibilities as a wife and future mother. Remember, the marriage bed is holy. You should plan for your first encounter there with eagerness and yet with the meekness our Lord honors in his female children. Practice in a mirror your best smile. Be sure your flannel pajamas are pressed and that your quilted polyester robe is of matching color. Most of all, do not press your beloved for physical attention. Only when he mentions it to you should you give any inkling that you're looking forward to the terrible, horrible act of marital coitus. Mother said she always sang Further Along, a hymn from the past that is guaranteed to bless the Lord and keep your mind from the heinous things your husband might try to get you to do. Always remember: Prayer changes things!
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COMING SOON: Naomi's Moist Pie - Open to ALL! Locations in Iowa, North Dakota, and near YOU!
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  #10  
Old 12-20-2013, 02:30 AM
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
Miss Anna, Glory! I hope you have spoken with a true Christian woman to get some advice regarding your responsibilities as a wife and future mother. Remember, the marriage bed is holy. You should plan for your first encounter there with eagerness and yet with the meekness our Lord honors in his female children. Practice in a mirror your best smile. Be sure your flannel pajamas are pressed and that your quilted polyester robe is of matching color. Most of all, do not press your beloved for physical attention. Only when he mentions it to you should you give any inkling that you're looking forward to the terrible, horrible act of marital coitus. Mother said she always sang Further Along, a hymn from the past that is guaranteed to bless the Lord and keep your mind from the heinous things your husband might try to get you to do. Always remember: Prayer changes things!
Beautifully said, Mrs. Lamb! If that isn't a perfectly romantic evening, I dont know what is.
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  #11  
Old 12-20-2013, 06:45 PM
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

What a wonderful idea! We will certainly do that.
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  #12  
Old 12-22-2013, 07:05 PM
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Paddy McIrish View Post
Beautifully said, Mrs. Lamb! If that isn't a perfectly romantic evening, I dont know what is.
Thank you for the kind words, Mrs. McIrish, but I am not yet married. I pray and fast daily that a man will want to woo and win my heart, but Mother has already begun making plans to hire me as a housekeeper for some Christian family since at my advanced age no real man will ever want me. Perhaps God meant for me to serve up my pie to please someone else's man, while caring for his children so he and his spouse can spread the Precious Word of our Lord. Just as Mary accepted the gift of a virgin birth, I am also willing to accept the fate of an old maid, known to no man but still giving my talents to serve the kingdom of Jesus. Praise His Name.
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  #13  
Old 12-22-2013, 07:15 PM
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Mark L. Snyde, PhD Mark L. Snyde, PhD is offline
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
Thank you for the kind words, Mrs. McIrish, but I am not yet married. I pray and fast daily that a man will want to woo and win my heart, but Mother has already begun making plans to hire me as a housekeeper for some Christian family since at my advanced age no real man will ever want me. Perhaps God meant for me to serve up my pie to please someone else's man, while caring for his children so he and his spouse can spread the Precious Word of our Lord. Just as Mary accepted the gift of a virgin birth, I am also willing to accept the fate of an old maid, known to no man but still giving my talents to serve the kingdom of Jesus. Praise His Name.
Dearest Naomi,

I pray long and hard each day for God to bring into your life a man who is worthy of your warm sweet pie. I have complete faith that you will be blessed with a rock-solid man of God who is eternally upright for Jesus.
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I Kings 7:23

And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
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Old 12-22-2013, 07:49 PM
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
Thank you for the kind words, Mrs. McIrish, but I am not yet married. I pray and fast daily that a man will want to woo and win my heart, but Mother has already begun making plans to hire me as a housekeeper for some Christian family since at my advanced age no real man will ever want me. Perhaps God meant for me to serve up my pie to please someone else's man, while caring for his children so he and his spouse can spread the Precious Word of our Lord. Just as Mary accepted the gift of a virgin birth, I am also willing to accept the fate of an old maid, known to no man but still giving my talents to serve the kingdom of Jesus. Praise His Name.
Miss Lamb - My apologies in mistaking you for a married woman! I admire your grace and humble acceptance of whatever path the LORD has in store for you, even if this path does not include a Godly marriage or the Salvation of your soul (1Timothy 2:15).

I am wondering if perhaps there is something wrong with your pie that is staving off potential suitors, such as ingredients that may have spoiled, or an unsavory odor? Momma always taught me that a woman's pie should be as fresh and sweet as a spring morning's dew. Then again, our sassy old Negra housemaid, Odetta (we called her 'Detta, for short) used to say something like "If it smell like cologne, leave dat pie alone!"

I was never quite sure what 'Detta meant by that, since pies are made from butter and flour and eggs and sometimes fruit. When I asked her if this old Negra adage applied to cream pies, she just laughed and laughed until Daddy whipped her for her impertinence.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find anything about cologne and pies in the Holy Bible.
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Old 12-22-2013, 08:03 PM
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Mark L. Snyde, PhD Mark L. Snyde, PhD is offline
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Paddy McIrish View Post
Miss Lamb - My apologies in mistaking you for a married woman! I admire your grace and humble acceptance of whatever path the LORD has in store for you, even if this path does not include a Godly marriage or the Salvation of your soul (1Timothy 2:15).

I am wondering if perhaps there is something wrong with your pie that is staving off potential suitors, such as ingredients that may have spoiled, or an unsavory odor? Momma always taught me that a woman's pie should be as fresh and sweet as a spring morning's dew. Then again, our sassy old Negra housemaid, Odetta (we called her 'Detta, for short) used to say something like "If it smell like cologne, leave dat pie alone!"

I was never quite sure what 'Detta meant by that, since pies are made from butter and flour and eggs and sometimes fruit. When I asked her if this old Negra adage applied to cream pies, she just laughed and laughed until Daddy whipped her for her impertinence.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find anything about cologne and pies in the Holy Bible.
From what I've heard tell, all the men of Naomi's church stand in line to get a sample of her delicious warm pie, so I have serious doubts there is anything lacking there.
__________________


I Kings 7:23

And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
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  #16  
Old 12-22-2013, 08:29 PM
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark L. Snyde, PhD View Post
From what I've heard tell, all the men of Naomi's church stand in line to get a sample of her delicious warm pie, so I have serious doubts there is anything lacking there.
I'm sure you're quite right, Dr. Snyde, as always!

Have you had the pleasure of sampling Miss Lamb's pie? I am always on the hunt for baking inspiration. Perhaps she would be willing to give me a taste test. Mr. McIrish is quite the "pie hound" and he would love some more variety I'm sure.

In fact, he perked right up at the suggestion of he and I trying some of Miss Lamb's pie together!
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  #17  
Old 12-22-2013, 08:35 PM
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Mark L. Snyde, PhD Mark L. Snyde, PhD is offline
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Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Paddy McIrish View Post
I'm sure you're quite right, Dr. Snyde, as always!

Have you had the pleasure of sampling Miss Lamb's pie? I am always on the hunt for baking inspiration. Perhaps she would be willing to give me a taste test. Mr. McIrish is quite the "pie hound" and he would love some more variety I'm sure.

In fact, he perked right up at the suggestion of he and I trying some of Miss Lamb's pie together!
While Naomi has graciously offered her pie to me (as well as her southern fried thighs and breasts), I have yet to sample them. My mouth waters at the thought though!
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Old 12-22-2013, 09:18 PM
Naomi Ruth Lamb's Avatar
Naomi Ruth Lamb Naomi Ruth Lamb is offline
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Naomi Ruth Lamb is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Naomi Ruth Lamb is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Naomi Ruth Lamb is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Naomi Ruth Lamb is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Naomi Ruth Lamb is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Naomi Ruth Lamb is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Naomi Ruth Lamb is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Naomi Ruth Lamb is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Naomi Ruth Lamb is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Naomi Ruth Lamb is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Naomi Ruth Lamb is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Paddy McIrish View Post
I'm sure you're quite right, Dr. Snyde, as always!

Have you had the pleasure of sampling Miss Lamb's pie? I am always on the hunt for baking inspiration. Perhaps she would be willing to give me a taste test. Mr. McIrish is quite the "pie hound" and he would love some more variety I'm sure.

In fact, he perked right up at the suggestion of he and I trying some of Miss Lamb's pie together!
Mrs. McIrish, Father has given permission for me to allow you to sample my pie, thighs, and breasts. What a buffet that will be as the flavors meld to bring ecstasy to the nose, mouth, and throat of you two! However, he needs to know where this will take place. Bear in mind that I am not yet allowed in Landover's immediate vicinity, so Freehold is not an option. Will I be able to sample your pie as well? Do you have free WiFi that will accept the overwhelming bandwidth of JesOS? Yours in Him, NRL
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  #19  
Old 12-22-2013, 09:20 PM
Naomi Ruth Lamb's Avatar
Naomi Ruth Lamb Naomi Ruth Lamb is offline
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Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark L. Snyde, PhD View Post
While Naomi has graciously offered her pie to me (as well as her southern fried thighs and breasts), I have yet to sample them. My mouth waters at the thought though!
Father told me you're welcome to use our guest room whenever your scholarly travels bring you this way. That would be the perfect time for me to give you what you drool over so often! Men can be so simple!
__________________
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
COMING SOON: Naomi's Moist Pie - Open to ALL! Locations in Iowa, North Dakota, and near YOU!
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  #20  
Old 12-22-2013, 09:53 PM
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Mrs. Paddy McIrish Mrs. Paddy McIrish is offline
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Mrs. Paddy McIrish has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Mrs. Paddy McIrish has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Mrs. Paddy McIrish has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Mrs. Paddy McIrish has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Mrs. Paddy McIrish has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Engagement and Boston

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
Mrs. McIrish, Father has given permission for me to allow you to sample my pie, thighs, and breasts. What a buffet that will be as the flavors meld to bring ecstasy to the nose, mouth, and throat of you two! ... Will I be able to sample your pie as well?
How lovely! I will PM you so that my husband may discuss the details with your father. And of course, I would be delighted to share my pie with you! Mr. McIrish will insist upon it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
Men can be so simple!
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