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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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  #101  
Old 12-27-2013, 04:14 AM
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Didymus Much Didymus Much is offline
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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

Quote:
Originally Posted by IdontKnowWhatToPut View Post
...Only one baby is born, all of the other sperm cells are killed!...
The difference is: when masturbating, you are responsible for all of those dead sperm babies (tough time keeping a straight [no pun intended] face here) whereas during intercourse God decides which one lives and then, yeah the rest die. But it's God doing the choosing, and whatever He does is Good™ and Perfect© (even if we, as humans in a modern world, all recoil in sheer horror at the atrocities described in the Bible).

Quote:
...BTW, I'm a gay atheist...
Oh, like there are none of those here.
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1 Corinthians 1:27 "But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;" The Bible confounds me; does that mean...
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  #102  
Old 12-27-2013, 10:07 AM
Chester Longshire (Quarantined) Chester Longshire is offline
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Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

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Originally Posted by IdontKnowWhatToPut View Post
But if that is the case then intercourse is a guaranteed eternity in Hell as well!

Only one baby is born, all of the other sperm cells are killed!

So everyone who has ever existed shall suffer in hell!

You are all a bunch of loonies, who opened the gates to the mental asylum?

BTW, I'm a gay atheist so you all can burn in the fiery pits of hell along with me

Ta ta, darlings!
Shockingly disgusting and hateful post brought to you by the poster child of the left's "tolerance" movement.

First of all, being a white Christian male, is the EPITOME of normality, whereas people like you belong in hell holes such as San Fransisco, Jew York City, and Amster-damned.
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  #103  
Old 12-28-2013, 05:52 AM
worthlessdavid (Quarantined) worthlessdavid is offline
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Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

Quote:
Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
Nope, thats why I am quiting it.

And plus I don't want bad eye sight (or to make god more mad at me)
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  #104  
Old 12-30-2013, 09:09 AM
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Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

I am one of the lucky ones. Even if an objectively attractive woman--one with supple, pouting breasts and firm thighs, for example--walks up to me and starts to flirt, it provokes virtually no sexual arousal in me at all.

Others are not so blessed. There is a good movie I recommend about teen-boy masturbation called "Cyber Seduction." It is about how a high school-aged swim team member becomes trapped in the clutches of internet porn. Just looking at women with large breasts ruins this poor man's life.

It is a good movie for the following reasons:

1. The movie does not depict him masturbating, mercifully leaving this aspect of the production to the viewer's imagination rather than to lurid, explicit imagery.

2. The boy is not a gaysexual, as he and his swim team buddies walk around without their shirts on a lot and this does not provoke arousal.

3. It has a good role model in his pimple-free, long-haired girlfriend, who is saving herself for marriage.

I have seen the film again and again and have shown it to young males to whom I minister one-on-one in my Christian apartment. I highly recommend it, and have submitted an excerpt below. At around 3:50, the teen turns to the internet starts to look at the forbidden. By 4 minutes in, you know that his genitals are probably really hard, pressing against his Hanes, possibly leaking just a little bit, and I always suggest to my ministerees that we pray at this point.


The movie does not show it, but I always assume that this young man dies and goes to Hell, where he is sodomized by demons and otherwise abused, and learns the pain and humiliation that are the true result of sexual arousal.
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  #105  
Old 01-02-2014, 05:50 PM
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soulbanana soulbanana is offline
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soulbanana is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.soulbanana is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

How in the world do you molest yourself? It seems impossible...Maybe it's something else, but I just need to know the definition.
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  #106  
Old 01-02-2014, 06:39 PM
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Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

Quote:
Originally Posted by soulbanana View Post
How in the world do you molest yourself? It seems impossible...Maybe it's something else, but I just need to know the definition.
If you're looking for some kind of deviant, lusty how-to guide, you've come to the wrong place, mister. Go ask at a methodist church. They believe everything is fine and dandy with God.

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  #107  
Old 01-03-2014, 01:14 AM
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I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

yes, yes it is worth an eternity in hell.
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  #108  
Old 01-03-2014, 01:20 AM
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James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
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Angry Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

Quote:
Originally Posted by are u srs View Post
yes, yes it is worth an eternity in hell.
Friend, that moment of bliss as You release the millions of tortured souls from your genitals might seem like a good deal but in the ensuing minutes, as the crust of death hardens on your hands, sheets and clothes, the shame of begrudging the tiny babies the Breath of Life™ will have you weeping like a six year old girl.
Think about the unheard voices for a change.
__________________
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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  #109  
Old 01-03-2014, 01:36 AM
I'm a tool's Avatar
I'm a tool I'm a tool is offline
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I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Friend, that moment of bliss as You release the millions of tortured souls from your genitals might seem like a good deal but in the ensuing minutes, as the crust of death hardens on your hands, sheets and clothes, the shame of begrudging the tiny babies the Breath of Life™ will have you weeping like a six year old girl.
Think about the unheard voices for a change.
well what do you think happens when you have sex with a girl? you think she's going to have a million little babies? no, all but one of those "tortured souls" die inside of her. and they would have died anyway, inside of you. so i mean. why not get the pleasure? besides---it's not like they're conscious of it. it's not like they're screaming while you ejaculate.... srsly man
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Lev.20:13
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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  #110  
Old 01-03-2014, 01:54 AM
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James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
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Angry Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm a tool View Post
well what do you think happens when you have sex with a girl? you think she's going to have a million little babies? no, all but one of those "tortured souls" die inside of her. and they would have died anyway, inside of you. so i mean. why not get the pleasure? besides---it's not like they're conscious of it. it's not like they're screaming while you ejaculate.... srsly man
Friend, I never have sex with a girl. I perform the act of doing Gods Creation with my wife. He assures us that to enter into a wife, all of the act is required for Him to create life in her womb. I can assure you, the Creation of life is not some game done for the fun of it.
You perverts are disgusting.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Here is what the Bible says about masturbation:
1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

Colossians 3:5
Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:

You should write this down on a card. The next time you have a firm grip on your rigid member and are thinking about your sister or mother, read it.
Romans 1:26-27
26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

</H3>
__________________
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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  #111  
Old 01-03-2014, 03:13 AM
I'm a tool's Avatar
I'm a tool I'm a tool is offline
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I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I'm a tool is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Friend, I never have sex with a girl.
well.. you have intercourse (sex) with a female (girl). so.. yeah, you do.

Quote:
I perform the act of doing Gods Creation with my wife. He assues us that to enter into a wife, all of the act is required for Him to create life in her womb. I can assure you, the Creation of life is not some game done for the fun of it.
but what about those little tortured souls that are dying in her ovaries? isn't god worried about them? or do they get their own hotel in heaven because there was nothing that the big man up there coul do about it? you totally discarded your previous "point", man.

Quote:
You perverts are disgusting.
i try.

Quote:
You should write this down on a card. The next time you have a firm grip on your rigid member and are thinking about your sister or mother, read it.
thinking.. about my sister or mother? it's disgusting that you'd even suggest that. blegh. it's much more likely that i'm thinking of my hot, sexy boyfriend's smooth chest and that trail of hair leading down to you-know-where. mmm. i don't think a bible verse written down on a little card would do anything.

i'm totally kidding, by the way. but i mean, it stops people from having sex too early, most likely prevents countless teenage pregnancies, stops people from cheating on their significant other, and it just feels good. why the hecky would god disapprove of it?
__________________
Lev.20:13
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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  #112  
Old 01-03-2014, 03:26 AM
Mark L. Snyde, PhD's Avatar
Mark L. Snyde, PhD Mark L. Snyde, PhD is offline
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Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm a tool View Post
well.. you have intercourse (sex) with a female (girl). so.. yeah, you do.



but what about those little tortured souls that are dying in her ovaries? isn't god worried about them? or do they get their own hotel in heaven because there was nothing that the big man up there coul do about it? you totally discarded your previous "point", man.



i try.



thinking.. about my sister or mother? it's disgusting that you'd even suggest that. blegh. it's much more likely that i'm thinking of my hot, sexy boyfriend's smooth chest and that trail of hair leading down to you-know-where. mmm. i don't think a bible verse written down on a little card would do anything.

i'm totally kidding, by the way. but i mean, it stops people from having sex too early, most likely prevents countless teenage pregnancies, stops people from cheating on their significant other, and it just feels good. why the hecky would god disapprove of it?
Your body is not meant to be treated like some toy for your amusement/enjoyment.

Quote:
1 Corinthians 6:19 (1611 King James Bible)

What, know ye not that your body is the Temple of the holy Ghost which is in you, which yee haue of God, and ye are not your owne?
Besides, do you really think Jesus wants to see you diddling yourself? Come on, don't put Jesus through that.
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I Kings 7:23

And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

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Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
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Old 01-03-2014, 08:12 PM
HappyToBeMe HappyToBeMe is offline
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HappyToBeMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.HappyToBeMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
THINK ABOUT THAT next time you are feeling randy and want to molest yourself.

For 30 seconds of pleasure you will spend an ETERNITY in HELL. If you are a male (as most masturbators are) All the the souls in the sperm you spilled will ALSO SPEND ETERNITY IN HELL. Yes, that is right! All your unborn sperms souls go to HELL too!

DON'T DO THE CRIME IF YOU CAN'T DO THE TIME!

1 Corinthians 6:18
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."





Next time you feel the urge to molest yourself, the Bible says you are better off cutting off that part of your body than to risk going to HELL.

Matthew 5:30


30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into HELL.






THINK ABOUT THAT PERVERTS. JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!


***PERVERTED IMAGE REMOVED BY ADMIN*** Also, a sperm cell only contains half the genetic information for a child. They're not proper "Children" as you put it.

Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 01-03-2014 at 08:17 PM. Reason: Hey, let's keep it clean for JESUS!
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The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


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