The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum

Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-08-2014, 10:18 PM
Miss Tanith's Avatar
Miss Tanith Miss Tanith is offline
Forum Member, struggling for Salvation©
Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Striving to be an obedient Christian girl
Posts: 107
Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Jesus' Gun.

When Baby Jesus comes back to Earth to destroy all of the Godless Heathens do you think he'll use a gun to wipe their filth from the surface of the Earth? If so, what gun would Jesus use?

If you were fighting alongside Sweet Baby Jesus, what weapon, gun or not, would you use?

Thank you,
Miss Tanith
__________________
Ruth 1:16; Ruth 1:17 : 16 And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
17 Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-08-2014, 10:47 PM
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Posts: 6,754
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus' Gun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Tanith View Post
When Baby Jesus comes back to Earth to destroy all of the Godless Heathens do you think he'll use a gun to wipe their filth from the surface of the Earth? If so, what gun would Jesus use?

If you were fighting alongside Sweet Baby Jesus, what weapon, gun or not, would you use?

Thank you,
Miss Tanith
He would not use a gun. He will use a mouth sword.

Revelation 19:15 And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.

However, if I was standing by His side I would be using a Galil assault rifle. It may be the mainstay of those dirty joos but they sure do know a thing or two about killing.

YIC
__________________
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-08-2014, 10:56 PM
Miss Tanith's Avatar
Miss Tanith Miss Tanith is offline
Forum Member, struggling for Salvation©
Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Striving to be an obedient Christian girl
Posts: 107
Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Jesus' Gun.

Wow. Thanks, I knew about the mouth sword but I guess I must have forgotten. I'd use a bow and arrow with fire on the arrowhead.
__________________
Ruth 1:16; Ruth 1:17 : 16 And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
17 Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-08-2014, 10:58 PM
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion 

Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 12,470
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus' Gun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
He would not use a gun. He will use a mouth sword.
Amen! We often play Revelation here at the Etheldreda home. The children enjoy creating scenes from their brick toys. This scene references Revelation 19:21.

__________________
.



Proud Quiver Full Mommy To Many

(Psalm 127:3-5)


Open Invitation To Atheists: 5 Reasons To Join the Church: Repent, and join us today!
Reasons To Believe (1 Peter 3:15)Logical And practical answers to a common question
Autism - the New Gay: Atheists conduct a nation-wide social experiment with children - Autism.
The Truth About New Atheism: Why Atheism is a Religion, And New Atheism Is Evil
Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life Ladies, share your recipes here for the fetal "Bread Of Life" (John 6:35)



Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-08-2014, 11:08 PM
Miss Tanith's Avatar
Miss Tanith Miss Tanith is offline
Forum Member, struggling for Salvation©
Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Striving to be an obedient Christian girl
Posts: 107
Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Jesus' Gun.

What weapon would you use if Jesus asked you to fight alongside him, Mrs Etheldreda?

Looks like my biblical knowledge is slipping. I'll double my bible study time and pray for forgiveness.
__________________
Ruth 1:16; Ruth 1:17 : 16 And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
17 Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-08-2014, 11:15 PM
Frednekk's Avatar
Frednekk Frednekk is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: The Bible Belt
Posts: 331
Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™
Default Re: Jesus' Gun.

I will brandish my scourge. And maybe some large rocks for some OT stone chucking.
I will let the wife and kids divide the more modern stuff up.
__________________
"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord."(Deuteronomy 23:1)

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

Last edited by Frednekk; 02-08-2014 at 11:16 PM. Reason: Sp
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-09-2014, 03:35 AM
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Posts: 6,754
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus' Gun.



An enduring image.

YIC
__________________
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 02-09-2014, 03:38 AM
FreeFromBrains's Avatar
FreeFromBrains FreeFromBrains is offline
Unsaved trash, teenaged fool
 

How dumb can you get? Retard Posting Rides the Short Bus 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: In bed with my fag boyfriend
Posts: 315
FreeFromBrains is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Jesus' Gun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frednekk View Post
I will brandish my scourge. And maybe some large rocks for some OT stone chucking.
I will let the wife and kids divide the more modern stuff up.
I would use a bastard sword.

d10 damage as a martial weapon, only takes a feat and you are good to go.

You know it makes sense.
__________________
A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 02-09-2014, 04:20 AM
WilliamJenningsBryan's Avatar
WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
True Christian™
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Nerd True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Home Schooled Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Early riser Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 6,053
WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus' Gun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post

An enduring image.

YIC
Indeed Dr. Niles, one wonders what might have happened if Christians had been armed with 300 volt Lithium Ion quick change power pack chain saws back in the 7th Century. We might have been spared 1,400 years of mooselimb murderous slaughter and carnage.
__________________
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 02-09-2014, 04:43 AM
Frednekk's Avatar
Frednekk Frednekk is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: The Bible Belt
Posts: 331
Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™Frednekk is a True Christian™
Default Re: Jesus' Gun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeFromBrains View Post
I would use a bastard sword.

d10 damage as a martial weapon, only takes a feat and you are good to go.

You know it makes sense.
No, it doesn't. Are your feet more tannish or extremely brownish?
__________________
"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord."(Deuteronomy 23:1)

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 02-11-2014, 04:11 AM
Miss Tanith's Avatar
Miss Tanith Miss Tanith is offline
Forum Member, struggling for Salvation©
Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Striving to be an obedient Christian girl
Posts: 107
Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Miss Tanith has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Jesus' Gun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeFromBrains View Post
I would use a bastard sword.

d10 damage as a martial weapon, only takes a feat and you are good to go.

You know it makes sense.
Why are you hijacking my thread with swears and lies? You're upsetting me. You're probably upsetting sweet baby Jesus too. Is there something not quite right in your head?

What are you using card game slang for? I walked past a card game once, some kids were playing it on the wall to my front garden. It had a perverted name... Ah, that's right. 'Peek-a-man' I think. From what I heard, it involves homers who do magic. I think, but I'm not sure, that they keep their familiars in 'balls'- a reference to male private parts, probably- and use them to cast spells to attack other people's familiars. It was a horrific thing to witness- children so young. I felt powerless. Then I remembered my hose pipe was just there, and I didn't want the neighbor kids thinking I condoned homersexual games and activities right outside my gate, so I sprayed them with my hose pipe until they ran away. I ruined those corruption cards.

Has anyone else noticed children playing this 'Peek-a-man' game? I think it's really dangerous. I'd hate it to catch on, and I hope it's not too widespread. If it's just my area we can probably nip it in the bud.

Anyway, as I was saying. Please swear elsewhere. I don't want to see your profanities, I'm very upset that you didn't consider how people might feel. You're coming across as filth. I'm sure you didn't mean to, but please. Watch your words.
__________________
Ruth 1:16; Ruth 1:17 : 16 And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
17 Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
armageddon, guns, revelations, second coming

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:12 AM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2009 all rights reserved