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Old 01-07-2014, 04:32 AM
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Question Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

First of all, thank you for all the messages left on my voicemail and in my inbox expressing concern over why my family and I were not in attendance at services this past Sunday. We're in Florida, and we'll be here until at least Wednesday. We attended services here, and I have already emailed photographic evidence of our attendance and a signed statement on church letterhead from one of the pastors down here to the church office.

My father-in-law passed away unexpectedly Friday morning, and we piled into the van and booked it to Boca Raton to perform an emergency resurrection, as commanded by Jesus.

Matthew 10:7-8
And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand.
Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.


This was my first attempt at raising the dead, and I have no reason to suspect that Hal is anywhere other than pressed firmly against the gentle bosom of our Savior. However, my wife was distraught at not having been able to say goodbye, and I figured it would be a good opportunity to show my boys what a true man of God is capable of - just to drive home the point I made last spring when I regenerated two of young Isaiah's severed fingers through the power of prayer following his unfortunate mishap with the boat.

Matthew 17:20
And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.


By the time we got here, Hal's body had already been embalmed and was in cold storage. While my wife and three youngest sons distracted the staff, I snuck into the morgue with Isaiah and Leviticus following closely behind. We found his drawer, pulled it out, prayed for the LORD's succor, layed our hands on him, and cried out in unision:
"I command you, in the name of , to come to life NOW!"

Nothing.

So I picked Hal up into my arms, and I just began to command life. And I just began to love on Hal. I began to speak over him:
" , send forth the life-giving Spirit in Hal, and bring life into back into this body."
I just began to pray over him, like that. Not a command - I had compassion in my heart.

And for a moment, I heard air whooshing into his nostrils and saw his chest heave. My sons saw it too. And again ... Then nothing.

We went on for another several minutes before an orderly walked in on us and had us escorted from the hospital. Such persecution is to be expected in these End Times, so we called it a night and went down to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and rested up for church services the following morning.

So while I am personally disappointed at not being able to perform a miraculous resurrection to impress my sons, we are at least assured of Hal's place at Jesus' side. Thinking back on why it didn't work, it's probably because he was already embalmed by the time we got there. It's not as if I've never worked miracles before, so I know it's not me.

Has anyone else tried to put Matthew 10:8 into practice? How did it go? I'd like to compare notes so that things go better on my next attempt.
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Old 01-07-2014, 04:36 AM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

This sounds fun. I wish my dad did stuff like this with me to impress me when I was growing up. Instead he just showed me his penis in the shower when I was little. He thought thats all there is to being a dad.
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Old 01-07-2014, 04:40 AM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Pastor Pistle and I have raised the dead a few times. It's pretty expensive though.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Old 01-07-2014, 10:22 AM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

My condolences, Brother Jed, on your loss. If you're having an open-casket funeral, you might just want to discreetly double check that your father-in-law is in fact dead. Your prayer might have had a delayed effect. It would be such a shame if he were raised from the dead only to be buried alive. I'm having visions of him trapped in that drawer down at the morgue trying to get out.

I saw my father briefly raised from the dead. He was working outside when suddenly he gasped and collapsed on the ground. My mother rushed over to him to find that he'd stopped breathing. Kneeling beside him, weeping, she prayed. My younger sisters and I gathered around. How long she prayed I couldn't say. It seemed like a long time. But eventually his eyelids fluttered. His chest heaved and his fingers started to twitch. He made some strange vocalisations. I couldn't make out any words; it was more like moaning. At one point I'm sure he suddenly jerked and sat partway up, but flopped back down again. Finally he soiled himself, and then that was it. He was gone for good this time. But I had definitely witnessed a partial resurrection.

Evangelist Smith Wigglesworth raised the dead.

Quote:
A friend of his lay dying. They had been kindred spirits from their boyhood days, perfect love existed between them. When Mr. Wigglesworth reached home one evening he found his wife had gone to see his friend who was sick and he immediately started down to see him also. As he neared the house he knew something serious had happened, and as he passed up the stairway he found the wife of the sick man lying on the stairs, broken-hearted. Death had already taken place. As he entered the room where the man lay, the deep love he had always cherished overcame him and he lost control of himself and began crying out to God. His wife who was present remonstrated with him, but as his heart went out to God he was lost to all around and felt he was being drawn up by the Spirit into the heavenlies. The deep cry of his heart was: “Father, Father, in Jesus’ Name bring him back.” He opened his eyes to find out there were no altered conditions, but with a living faith he cried out, “He lives! He lives! Look! Look !” The dead man opened his eyes and revived, and he is living today.
Unbelievers are always asking for miracles, but then when a miracle does happen, they try to attribute it to natural causes. They try to find a rational explanation. They move the goalposts. Secular medicine talks about "clinical death." If someone dies and goes to heaven or hell (has a "near-death experience" as secular doctors call it) or if someone appears to be dead but suddenly revives, then he was only "clinically dead," not really dead. This semantic trick allows doctors to ignore some of the best evidence there is for an afterlife and a God who has the power to raise the dead.

You and your family are in my prayers at this time. I'm still having mental images of your father-in-law trapped in a drawer at the morgue. Perhaps I should pray that if God did end up resurrecting him after you left, He would now be merciful and end his suffering and take him back to be at His side.
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Old 01-07-2014, 05:44 PM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

I raised the dead once. My old friend, Duane Jefferson, flew over from LA and stayed for a few weeks. I took him to the airport and he got on his flight OK. However, as I was getting out my car, I heard on the news that his flight had gone down.

Instantly, I called, “Duane! Hear me! You are alive! Arise! Walk!” As it happened he called me an hour later and told me that he had been delayed in the bar by a young lady and missed his flight.

However, I credited this as a miracle. The point was that neither I nor anyone else knew if he were alive or dead and he could have been either but the belief had to be that he was dead.

What had happened was that Jesus had placed him in this uncertain state and then returned Duane to us.

My prayer had traveled back through time and altered the fatal outcome.
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Old 01-08-2014, 07:34 AM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
I raised the dead once. My old friend, Duane Jefferson, flew over from LA and stayed for a few weeks. I took him to the airport and he got on his flight OK. However, as I was getting out my car, I heard on the news that his flight had gone down.

Instantly, I called, “Duane! Hear me! You are alive! Arise! Walk!” As it happened he called me an hour later and told me that he had been delayed in the bar by a young lady and missed his flight.

However, I credited this as a miracle. The point was that neither I nor anyone else knew if he were alive or dead and he could have been either but the belief had to be that he was dead.

What had happened was that Jesus had placed him in this uncertain state and then returned Duane to us.

My prayer had traveled back through time and altered the fatal outcome.
That makes Schrodinger and his cat seem silly by comparison.
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Old 01-08-2014, 10:29 AM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Guys, you do know that in the Old Testament, necromancy is banned and Saul was condemned for raising Samuel from the dead, right?

And also, did you really raise people from the dead or is it just cognitive dissonance setting in? I mean God placed the cherub in front of the Tree of Life for a reason. (Genesis 3:25)
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:11 AM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RighteousFury666 View Post
Guys, you do know that in the Old Testament, necromancy is banned and Saul was condemned for raising Samuel from the dead, right?

And also, did you really raise people from the dead or is it just cognitive dissonance setting in? I mean God placed the cherub in front of the Tree of Life for a reason. (Genesis 3:25)
Saul was condemned for consulting a medium to communicate with Samuel's departed soul.

Skeptics are always saying that if God exists, we should be able to see evidence of His existence. But whenever they are confronted with evidence of God's existence, they reject it on the grounds that God doesn't exist. Take raising the dead, for example. Whenever someone dies and comes back, doctors say the person was only clinically dead -- because if he was really dead he would never have come back! This is the kind of circular logic we're up against.

Please also start a thread in the introduction forum and tell us what church you attend, your favorite Bible verse and how you found Jesus.
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:14 AM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

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Guys, you do know that in the Old Testament, necromancy is banned and Saul was condemned for raising Samuel from the dead, right?
Of course we know that. Necromancy is a form of magic, loathsome and evil. No Christian would want to have anything to do with that. No, what we do is simply ask God to raise the dead, and, seeing we're His followers, He, at His discretion, raises the dead. Just like He rose Himself when He was killed by the Jews and Romans. Nothing wrong with that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RighteousFury666 View Post
And also, did you really raise people from the dead or is it just cognitive dissonance setting in? I mean God placed the cherub in front of the Tree of Life for a reason. (Genesis 3:25)
When someone is dead one moment, and alive later, that can't be cognitive dissonance, those are facts. And why you mention the cherubim I don't quite understand, just because someone's been resurrected doesn't mean they'll live forever. I really don't understand where you get such weird ideas...
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:38 PM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Raise the dead? No, but I have seen limbs grow back!

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Old 01-09-2014, 12:01 AM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
I raised the dead once. My old friend, Duane Jefferson, flew over from LA and stayed for a few weeks. I took him to the airport and he got on his flight OK. However, as I was getting out my car, I heard on the news that his flight had gone down.

Instantly, I called, “Duane! Hear me! You are alive! Arise! Walk!” As it happened he called me an hour later and told me that he had been delayed in the bar by a young lady and missed his flight.

However, I credited this as a miracle. The point was that neither I nor anyone else knew if he were alive or dead and he could have been either but the belief had to be that he was dead.

What had happened was that Jesus had placed him in this uncertain state and then returned Duane to us.

My prayer had traveled back through time and altered the fatal outcome.
Brother, it does not surprise me that God would grasp ahold of your life and use it as a tool, proving He can still get it up in the End Times. This reminds me of my younger days when I was a smack shooting, Goetic wizard and attempted to animate a life sized plastic model of a human skeleton. I succeeded only in filling the brain pan with several, smoothly transitioning layers of semen. These would have eventually become the lobes of a human brain that could never accept the Gospel. The fact that I failed to introduce such an abomination to the world proves that Jesus was holding my hand the whole time.
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  #12  
Old 01-09-2014, 12:03 AM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Raise the dead? No, but I have seen limbs grow back!

I swear the Japs will turn anything into pornography, even a miracle from God.
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  #13  
Old 01-10-2014, 01:29 AM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RighteousFury666 View Post
Guys, you do know that in the Old Testament, necromancy is banned and Saul was condemned for raising Samuel from the dead, right?

And also, did you really raise people from the dead or is it just cognitive dissonance setting in? I mean God placed the cherub in front of the Tree of Life for a reason. (Genesis 3:25)
Necromancy is not equivalent to exercising the FRUITS of the HOLY SPIRIT, and vice versa. You are treading DANGEROUSLY CLOSE to speaking against the HOLY SPIRIT.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MATTHEW 12:31-32
31 Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.
32 And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.
I'd be VERY CAREFUL. That is a line you DO NOT want to cross!
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  #14  
Old 03-01-2014, 10:07 AM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Proof that God still raises the dead, from CNN.

Even in the Bible Belt, coroners don't use the word "miracle" lightly.

But Holmes County, Mississippi, Coroner Dexter Howard has no qualms using the word for the resurrection, as it were, of Walter Williams, who was declared dead Wednesday night.
Howard received the call from Williams' hospice nurse, who told Howard that the 78-year-old had passed away. A family member called as well, saying the same, Howard said.
Howard and Byron Porter from Porter & Sons Funeral Home in Lexington, Mississippi, drove to Williams' home to collect the body for funeral preparations. Howard checked Williams' pulse about 9 p.m. and pronounced him dead.

"There was no pulse. He was lifeless," Howard said.

The coroner completed his paperwork, placed Williams in a body bag and transported him to the funeral home, he said. There, something strange happened: The body bag moved.
"We got him into the embalming room and we noticed his legs beginning to move, like kicking," Howard said. "He also began to do a little breathing."

They immediately called an ambulance. Paramedics arrived and hooked Williams up to monitors. Sure enough, he had a heartbeat, so they transported him to the Holmes County Hospital and Clinics.

"They were in shock. I was in shock. I think everybody at the hospital was in shock," Howard said.

. . .

Overjoyed family members are thanking God for saving the life of the longtime farmer they call "Snowball."

"So it was not my daddy's time," daughter Martha Lewis told CNN affiliate WJTV. "I don't know how much longer he's going to grace us and bless us with his presence, but hallelujah, we thank Him right now!"

Nephew Eddie Hester told CNN affiliate WAPT he was at Williams' Lexington home when Howard and Porter zipped up the body bag, so he was more than a little stunned when his cousin called at 2:30 a.m. Thursday and told him, "Not yet."

"What you mean not yet?" Hester recalled asking his cousin. "He said, 'Daddy's still here.' "

"I don't know how long he's going to be here, but I know he's back right now. That's all that matters," Hester told WAPT.

Howard visited Williams on Thursday at the hospital and said he was still "a little weak" but was surrounded by family members and talking.


Well, skeptics, the ball is in your court. The burden of proof is on you to 1) prove that a miracle did not occur and 2) prove that the God of the Bible didn't do it.
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Old 03-01-2014, 03:03 PM
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VictoryOS VictoryOS is offline
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

I'm sure if this report was from a source other than the Godless CNN, they would have included the prayers of the family into the story. Surely they prayed, or God wouldn't have had a prayer to answer.
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Old 03-01-2014, 08:24 PM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Do I have any experience raising the dead? Only each time I have to force my wife up off her fat, lazy ass to fetch me a beer!!
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  #17  
Old 03-01-2014, 09:43 PM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

I know a joo who made a gollum once. It was pretty gross.
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Old 03-01-2014, 11:50 PM
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I know a joo who made a gollum once. It was pretty gross.
I'm not sure that it's a good idea to keep this posted on the Internet. Do you have any idea how hard it is to stop a golem once a Jew creates one? (Of course YOU do, Pastor Ezekiel, but I mean everyone else reading this!) Sure, a couple of crack divisions of United States Marines supported by F-16s can hold one off for a while, but the only thing that will really put a golem down is a prayer from a True Christian™--and it had better be a darned good prayer. How does everyone think Israel keeps whipping Arab a$$ in all of their wars? It's a combination of golems and financing from Goldman, Sachs.
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Old 07-13-2014, 08:53 AM
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Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
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Default Re: Does Anyone Have Experience with Raising the Dead?

Well, I am rather pleased to be back from Philadelphia after attending the conference on “The Historicized And Mythologized Naiveté Of 19th Century Nationalist Accounts Of The Christian View Of Multiculturalism In Ottoman Cyprus.” The main speaker, Dr Evangelou Papadopoulos, lost me from the start with his impenetrable accent, monotone voice and PowerPoint presentation that was entirely upside down. Basically, it seems that the Cypriots were lax and liberal and didn’t give a damn who or what you worshiped as long as there was cheap wine. This is no way to run a country so it’s small wonder that God saw fit to divide their Island in the 20th century.

However, this is not the point. It seems that some True Christian was there too and an attempt at resurrection was made:
Quote:
Gurney with Dead Body Falls Out of Coroner's Van

Drivers traveling on a busy Lower Southampton road Friday had to navigate an unusual obstruction -- a gurney carrying a corpse.



The rear door of a van carrying the deceased person malfunctioned as the vehicle was traveling along the 100 block of East Street Road near the Bucks Crossing Shopping Center around noon, according to the Bucks County Coroner's Office.

A photo from the scene shows the dead body covered with a sheet sitting in the middle of the street as cars passed.

County officials say the coroner employee driving the van realized what had occurred immediately and circled back to the scene.

A bystander helped the driver remove the body from the road, according to LevittownNow.Com.

Read more: http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/...#ixzz37KkKTcgp
I do not know how many times Pastor Zeke and I have told people that resurrecting the dead is not something to be entered into lightly. Even Jesus only did it when the relatives were very upset, and I don’t mean “just normally upset”. I mean upset as when the will of the deceased is unclear or he forgot to tell them where the keys to his car were, etc.

If we look at the case above, we can see immediately what has happened:

1. Jesus dies temporarily –> some guy in hospital dies
2. Jesus is taken to the tomb –> some guy is taken to the morgue
3. Jesus is placed in a tomb –> some guy is placed in an ambulance
4. The rock on the tomb is rolled away –> the doors of the ambulance are cast open with a great castance.
5. Jesus exits the tomb – gurney and body exit onto the freeway.

Now I would say that resurrecting a moving body is not as simple as you may think. Whereas with a stationary body you can concentrate your faith on the body and on Jesus, if the body’s doing a steady 30mph, this is not so easy and that delicate step of the rolling aside of the [metaphorical] rock and the exit of the “resurrectee” has to be handled carefully.

I suspect that the True Christian involved is no longer a member of Landover, perhaps it was someone like Rev. Rodimer, but whatever the case, Landover now demands that anyone wishing to resurrect a body, or attempt same, obtain a permit from Pastor Zeke or myself.
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Amen Bathfire E
We are the pure and chosen few,
And all the rest are damned.
There’s room enough in hell for you—
We don’t want heaven crammed.
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