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The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns.

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Old 03-16-2014, 09:16 PM
Naomi Ruth Lamb's Avatar
Naomi Ruth Lamb Naomi Ruth Lamb is offline
By Appointment to Hon. Mayor of Freehold, Purveyor of Moist Baked Goods
True Christian™

Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Pro-Life Best Pie True Christian™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady Prayer Warrior True Christian Homemaker Most Obedient Best stoning bucket True Christian Beauty Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer In Love With Zeke Persecuted Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion True Republican Christian Love Kirk Cameron Fan Club Stamp of Approval 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Apostle's Park Court, Freehold USA
Posts: 702
Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Surprise! I am here!

(AP Freehold) Entrepreneur Naomi Ruth Lamb announced today that she has moved, along with her parents, Shadrach and Deborah Lamb, to Freehold, Iowa. Realtor to the Truest of Christians ™ Marla Jennings was instrumental in securing the new homes of the Lamb family.

Ms. Lamb opens her first pie shop in Leith, North Dakota, in April and plans to follow that with a 2nd in Freehold. Friends are invited to the housewarming for her parents at 777 Leviticus Landing, Unit 7, Freehold on Saturday, March 22 from 1PM until 3PM. In lieu of gifts, please send love offerings to the Landover Baptist Church in care of Pastor Ezekiel Flint. Friends from outside the Freehold area may view by closed circuit television at the Best Buy of their choice.

On Saturday, March 29, Ms. Lamb will welcome True Christians™ with invitation only to her quaint home at 1380 Apostles Park Court. Titanium tithers will only need to swipe their ID cards at the gate for premium parking. Others please use the side gate and be prepared to verify True Christian™ status. This open house will begin at noon and end at 5.

This will be a treat for anyone that hasn't had the privilege of seeing homes in this most vibrant of Freehold's neighborhoods.

Nestled on a hill atop the most beautiful 20 acres of gently rolling meadows that the Lord hath created, this lavishly furnished 29,000 sq. ft custom-built home is a haven of elegance and luxury. Visiting guests will marvel at the teak fencing lining the 1/2 mile driveway. The fence is painted with real lamb's blood. A sign near the main entrance announces that guests have arrived at Blood of the Lamb Estate. Exquisite details enhance this perfect home, including a hand-carved stairway with carvings of famous Old Testament stories, a luxurious master suite with gold leaf fireplace, 1200 sq ft prayer/sitting room, His/Hers baths and walk-in closets with extensive built-ins. The kitchen features rare Brazilian blue bahia granite, 24k gold fixtures, three ovens, sub zero walk-ins, fireplace and full service butler's pantry. The sun room off the majestic 1600 sq. ft entry foyer features a hand painted ceiling depicting the Last Supper and beautiful imported Amazon rain forest wood judges paneling. Indoor and outdoor pools, bowling alley, indoor skeet/racquet ball court, separate prayer chapel seats 200. Total security is afforded by perimeter fencing, 400 sq ft guard booth, 12 foot stack stone property fencing, and the latest in observation technology. True Christian™ ID card verification allows easy entry for visitors and ten-lane side gate ensures hassle free ingress and egress for servants and other pre-approved guests (Pastor's approval required).

(PS: Pastor Zeke, the $300,000 permit fee for the open houses was sent to Sister Cookie along with proof of Mother's exorcism)
__________________
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in Iowa, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Texas and soon near YOU!

Our pie is endorsed by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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  #2  
Old 03-16-2014, 10:15 PM
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
Posts: 2,246
Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Surprise! I am here!

Sounds like a sales advertisement for the house. Are you trying to sell it already?
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  #3  
Old 03-17-2014, 03:38 AM
TaraAnne's Avatar
TaraAnne TaraAnne is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pearland, Texas
Posts: 176
TaraAnne has bribed people to get these reputation points.TaraAnne has bribed people to get these reputation points.TaraAnne has bribed people to get these reputation points.TaraAnne has bribed people to get these reputation points.TaraAnne has bribed people to get these reputation points.TaraAnne has bribed people to get these reputation points.TaraAnne has bribed people to get these reputation points.TaraAnne has bribed people to get these reputation points.TaraAnne has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Surprise! I am here!

Congratulations Sister Lamb!! I know you will make it a beautiful home for your family!!
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  #4  
Old 03-18-2014, 01:45 AM
Naomi Ruth Lamb's Avatar
Naomi Ruth Lamb Naomi Ruth Lamb is offline
By Appointment to Hon. Mayor of Freehold, Purveyor of Moist Baked Goods
True Christian™

Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Pro-Life Best Pie True Christian™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady Prayer Warrior True Christian Homemaker Most Obedient Best stoning bucket True Christian Beauty Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer In Love With Zeke Persecuted Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion True Republican Christian Love Kirk Cameron Fan Club Stamp of Approval 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Apostle's Park Court, Freehold USA
Posts: 702
Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Naomi Ruth Lamb will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Surprise! I am here!

Girls,

Sister Cookie had a great idea! Do you suppose any of you could spare the children of your help for the open houses? We could dress them up like little lawn jockeys or tap dancers and use them as coffee servers, cookie tray holders, punch pourers, or a number of other little niglet helpers. Perhaps if you have adopted a niglet this could be their way of paying you back for your support.

I suppose I'll need to beef up security if we do this, but Brother Jim and Brother Billy-Bob can handle that for me, I'm sure.

Oh - and a few of you have asked why you haven't received an invitation yet. I just can't imagine what might have happened, bless your hearts.
__________________
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in Iowa, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Texas and soon near YOU!

Our pie is endorsed by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
Reply With Quote
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