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Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News.

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Old 02-26-2014, 12:27 AM
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Default God Hates Selfies

As a firm proponent of retributive justice, God always finds a way to make the punishment fit the sin - and pestilence has been in His arsenal, called upon for numerous occasions in the Bible (KJV1611).

Quote:
For now I will stretch out my hand, that I may smite thee and thy people with pestilence; and thou shalt be cut off from the earth.

- Exodus 9:15

The LORD shall make the pestilence cleave unto thee, until he have consumed thee from off the land, whither thou goest to possess it.

- Deuteronomy 28:21
Ever since Obama took that selfie with that slut Danish Prime Minister, selfies have been in the news. It's not known whether Obama got a dose of head lice or was made to suffer at the hands of Michelle, but it's becoming clear that God is not fond of selfies.

Quote:
Expert Claims Selfies Are Giving Teens Head Lice

"But now, teens are sticking their heads together every day to take cell phone pics."
By Jessica Roy - Feb. 24, 2014

Teens everywhere are smooshing their heads together in an attempt to capture the perfect selfie, and while that sounds pretty innocent, danger is lurking just around the corner: all those selfies could be causing an uptick in head lice cases.

SFist talked to a lice expert located in Scotts Valley named Marcy McQuillan who notes that though lice is usually found in elementary aged kids, she’s seen a “huge increase” in lice cases in teens this year. The obvious culprit for this anomaly? Evil, evil selfies.

“Typically it’s younger children I treat, because they’re at higher risk for head-to-head contact. But now, teens are sticking their heads together every day to take cell phone pics,” McQuillan told SFist.

http://newsfeed.time.com/2014/02/24/...lice-outbreak/
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Old 02-26-2014, 01:22 AM
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Default Re: God Hates Selfies

Selfies are disgusting. Look at this one. Is this some kind if transgender freak. Is he sticking his belly out to say "I gave birth to this baby!"

I think I'm going to throw up!
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Old 02-26-2014, 06:04 PM
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Default Re: God Hates Selfies

And here I thought the term "selfie" was new liberal slang for masturbation. Now I see it promotes narcissism and vanity (and probably masturbation).

Proverbs 31:30

Have fun taking a "selfie" with Satan in HELL!! Instagram THAT!!
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Old 02-26-2014, 06:12 PM
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Default Re: God Hates Selfies

Oh, sweet baby Jesus.
I read the title of this thread, and............ well!!
Thank goodness is all I can say.

Obviously this is just as bad, especially if the selfie is of a sinner having a selfie.
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Old 02-27-2014, 01:35 AM
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Smile Re: God Hates Selfies

This seems a lot like masturbation, a subject I just cannot come to grips with. Why anyone wants to expose themselves to disease and pestilence, when the Bible is very clear about self pleasure and the destruction of the Wart as a result of immoral acts, I'll never understand.

Ezekiel 5:17
So will I send upon you famine and evil beasts, and they shall bereave thee: and pestilence and blood shall pass through thee; and I will bring the sword upon thee. I the Lord have spoken it.

Matthew 24:1-51
24 And Jesus went out, and departed from the temple: and his disciples came to him for to shew him the buildings of the temple.
2 And Jesus said unto them, See ye not all these things? verily I say unto you, There shall not be left here one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.
3 And as he sat upon the mount of Olives, the disciples came unto him privately, saying, Tell us, when shall these things be? and what shall be the sign of thy coming, and of the end of the world?
4 And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you.
5 For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.
6 And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.
7 For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.
8 All these are the beginning of sorrows.
9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake.
10 And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.
11 And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.
12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.
13 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.
14 And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.
15 When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, (whoso readeth, let him understand
16 Then let them which be in Judaea flee into the mountains:
17 Let him which is on the housetop not come down to take any thing out of his house:
18 Neither let him which is in the field return back to take his clothes.
19 And woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!
20 But pray ye that your flight be not in the winter, neither on the sabbath day:
21 For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.
22 And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect's sake those days shall be shortened.
23 Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not.
24 For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.
25 Behold, I have told you before.
26 Wherefore if they shall say unto you, Behold, he is in the desert; go not forth: behold, he is in the secret chambers; believe it not.
27 For as the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
28 For wheresoever the carcase is, there will the eagles be gathered together.
29 Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken:
30 And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.
31 And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.
32 Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When his branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is nigh:
33 So likewise ye, when ye shall see all these things, know that it is near, even at the doors.
34 Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.
35 Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.
36 But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
37 But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
38 For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark,
39 And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
40 Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
41 Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
42 Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come.
43 But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up.
44 Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.
45 Who then is a faithful and wise servant, whom his lord hath made ruler over his household, to give them meat in due season?
46 Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing.
47 Verily I say unto you, That he shall make him ruler over all his goods.
48 But and if that evil servant shall say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming;
49 And shall begin to smite his fellowservants, and to eat and drink with the drunken;
50 The lord of that servant shall come in a day when he looketh not for him, and in an hour that he is not aware of,
51 And shall cut him asunder, and appoint him his portion with the hypocrites: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
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Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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  #6  
Old 02-28-2014, 11:36 PM
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Default Re: God Hates Selfies

More proof the "selfie' is of the devil - just look, the 3 biggest threats to America and God.
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Old 03-01-2014, 02:20 AM
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Default Re: God Hates Selfies

Oh my, don't they look like they've been doing drugs together? They probably just got finished huffing marihuana and don't even know where they are.
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Old 03-03-2014, 03:56 AM
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Default Re: God Hates Selfies

Ellen DeGenerate (Godmocking dyke) proves furthermore that selfies are the work of Satan. Is there any doubt that she is using magic?

http://entertainment.time.com/2014/0...streep-selfie/

Quote:
Oscars 2014: This Is the Most Retweeted Photo Ever

Is this the most star-studded selfie of all time?

Have you ever tried to get a selfie with 10+ people? It’s hard! Really hard.

Accordingly, major props are due to Oscars hostess Ellen DeGeneres for managing to pull off a selfie with so much star wattage it’s almost blinding — there’s Jennifer Lawrence, Channing Tatum, Julia Roberts, Kevin Spacey, Brad Pitt, Lupita Nyong’o (and her date, her brother Junior), Angelina Jolie, Bradley Cooper and Meryl Streep — plus Ellen herself, of course.

Previously, Barack Obama’s election-night photo of him embracing Michelle, which has been retweeted over 778,000 times, was the most-retweeted photo of all time; it took less than an hour for Ellen’s to beat his record and hit 1 million retweets on this photo.

In her own words? This selfie is thoroughly #blessed.

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Old 03-06-2014, 03:24 PM
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Default Re: God Hates Selfies

Well it appears the hellbound catlicks have embraced the selfie

Oddly enough, there is a selfie of a negro mother and her niglet. I didn't think darkies were smart enough to figure out a "smartphone". I doubt it was a selfie, someone took that picture.
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Old 03-06-2014, 03:35 PM
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Default Re: God Hates Selfies

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
but it's becoming clear that God is not fond of selfies
Yet there is a picture of you on all your posts.

Myself, I love selfies!

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- Ecclesiastes xii.7
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Old 03-06-2014, 03:54 PM
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lukasekman is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.lukasekman is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.lukasekman is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.lukasekman is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.lukasekman is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.lukasekman is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.lukasekman is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.lukasekman is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.lukasekman is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.lukasekman is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.lukasekman is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: God Hates Selfies

I have a strict selfie policy in my family - a selfie equals corporal punishment and the permanent confiscation of the phone. The only exception is if they wear a "stop being poor" t-shirt or tanktop, and doing the selfie with a homeless.
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  #12  
Old 03-07-2014, 10:08 PM
Jason the drunk mick Jason the drunk mick is offline
Unsaved trash, godmocking chav
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In the real world
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Jason the drunk mick is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jason the drunk mick is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jason the drunk mick is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jason the drunk mick is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jason the drunk mick is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jason the drunk mick is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jason the drunk mick is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jason the drunk mick is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jason the drunk mick is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jason the drunk mick is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jason the drunk mick is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: God Hates Selfies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dutch Girl View Post
Yet there is a picture of you on all your posts.

Myself, I love selfies!

I love selfies too and head lice are hardly a punishment, sure it is annoying but all it takes is a bottle of some lice killer and problem solved
Btw love your selfie
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  #13  
Old 03-25-2014, 02:53 AM
Holy Henry's Avatar
Holy Henry Holy Henry is offline
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Holy Henry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holy Henry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holy Henry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holy Henry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holy Henry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holy Henry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holy Henry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holy Henry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holy Henry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Holy Henry has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: God Hates Selfies

The selfie is very important to society my friends and we should all pay attention.

Selfies are a Gods way for us to identify a person. If a female does the selfie then she is a slack harlot. If a man does the selfie then he is gay for satan.

M
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  #14  
Old 03-26-2014, 01:47 AM
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: God Hates Selfies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Holy Henry View Post
The selfie is very important to society my friends and we should all pay attention.

Selfies are a Gods way for us to identify a person. If a female does the selfie then she is a slack harlot. If a man does the selfie then he is gay for satan.

M
How very apropos for this comment to have been placed just under the Dutch wench'es post by the LORD's Perfect Sovereignty. Why, just looking at the photo above, I can identify this woman as not only a slack harlot, but one who socializes with the most depraved homosexuals. If you notice, she's not taking this picture herself. Her arm is not raised as is seen in the "selfie." Also note that she's completely naked. Clearly her hands are busy... elsewhere. The fact that the man taking the picture isn't actively mounting her in this moment captured on film means that he has been brainwashed by Big Sodomy and sees no more allure in the naked woman's form than a man might find in the form of a slug. In other words, he's so queer that he probably didn't even notice she was naked and doing disgusting things to herself. Makes me angry to see this is what the Dutch think is "normal" these days. They were once such a devout people.

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  #15  
Old 03-26-2014, 03:45 AM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: God Hates Selfies

In my experience, it's the low class and the mud people who tend to spread this vile fad.

__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #16  
Old 03-26-2014, 09:52 AM
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Eva_Christensen Eva_Christensen is offline
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Default Re: God Hates Selfies

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
...

Ever since Obama took that selfie with that slut Danish Prime Minister, selfies have been in the news. It's not known whether Obama got a dose of head lice or was made to suffer at the hands of Michelle, but it's becoming clear that God is not fond of selfies.
I hope you can forgive me intruding like this - not beeing a and all - but I do feel I have to appologize for our slut Danish Prime Ministers selfie, with Obama - I live in that God forsaken country of Denmark and I was so distraught when I first saw it!

Knowing that God hates selfies, Obama, female heads of state AND Denmark, I pray every day, that the good Lord will send us a proper man to guide us and show this country the right direction.

Prayers
E
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1 Thessalonians 5:3 For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.
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  #17  
Old 05-22-2014, 11:41 PM
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Dutch Girl Dutch Girl is offline
Unsaved trash - God mocking whore
 

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Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: God Hates Selfies

This thread needs more selfies!

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Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He’d hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He’d windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee’s knees. Jesus is like the monster truck of love and you are an old Geo Metro which he will roar his massive engine over and crush your pathetic fiberglass frame into a crumpled heap. Praise Jesus, especially when it’s sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.

- Ecclesiastes xii.7
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