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The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED!

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  #81  
Old 02-15-2009, 05:37 PM
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Default Re: A Poem about the Gospels

A Poem Based On 1 Thessalonians

We are Christians, we are holy, and just, and blameless!
Be not like the Jews, who killed the Lord Jesus, and their own prophets, persecuted us, pleasing not God, contrary to all men, the wrath is come upon them to the uttermost!
The Lord Jesus Christ is coming, wrote Paul, only some 1,900 years ago!
Before we die, we shall see the rapture, wrote Paul, circa 52 AD!
Prove all things, hold fast to what is good!
Be good, people of Thessalonica, for the Lord Jesus Christ is coming soon!
GLORY GLORY GLORY
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  #82  
Old 02-15-2009, 06:07 PM
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Default Re: A Poem about the Gospels

Well, that's it. I have finished. All 66 books of the Bible are represented here. It was been quite a pleasure to engage in this scriptural study, I thank all of the people who read through them with me.

I want to thank of course, the author of all these things, the Lord God Almighty, and all His holy secretaries, who preserved the words I have borrowed from: Moses, Joshua, Phinehas, Samuel, Gad, Nathan, Jeremiah, Ezra, Nehemiah, Mordecai, David, Asaph, Heman, Ethan, Solomon, Agur, Lemuel, Isaiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Paul, James, Peter, and Jude. I also much in debt to a certain theologian by the name of Wells.

So I guess I am going into poetic retirement, unless anyone has suggestions for other stuff I can write about.
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  #83  
Old 02-18-2009, 05:42 PM
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Default Re: Poems about the Gospels

I've read your poems to my little soldiers before bedtime. It moved their little hearts so much that they spent each night sweating and screaming Bible passages in their sleep.
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  #84  
Old 02-18-2009, 06:33 PM
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Default Re: Poems about the Gospels

Thank you Nurse, I'm so pleased to know my works are being enjoyed.
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  #85  
Old 06-26-2009, 02:47 AM
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Default Re: Poems about the Gospels

I have a request!

Could you try writing a poem based on John 6?
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  #86  
Old 06-26-2009, 02:54 AM
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Default Re: Poems about the Gospels

Certainly, Father.

Oh, several years before the Last Supper.
Jesus multiplied the fish and loaves.
Afterwards He used figurative language to convey meaning as he often did.
He said He was the Bread of Life
Which of course is a metaphor
But anyway this is not connected to the evil Catholic communion
Since He was not referring to the incident that Catholics say started that rite.
PRAISE BE TO GOD!
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  #87  
Old 06-26-2009, 03:00 AM
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Default Re: Poems about the Gospels

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
The gosples keep me from wandering hither and yon
Tho their words are hard to follow
In Satans arms I will not wallow
For today is the day I will not stray
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  #88  
Old 06-26-2009, 03:04 AM
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Default Re: Poems about the Gospels

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
Certainly, Father.

Oh, several years before the Last Supper.
Jesus multiplied the fish and loaves.
Afterwards He used figurative language to convey meaning as he often did.
He said He was the Bread of Life
Which of course is a metaphor
But anyway this is not connected to the evil Catholic communion
Since He was not referring to the incident that Catholics say started that rite.
PRAISE BE TO GOD!
Hmmm...I know you can do better...

Can we hear poems about Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, and 1 & 2 Maccabees please? (If it's easier for you, maybe you can wrap them up into one big poem!)
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There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?
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  #89  
Old 06-26-2009, 03:31 AM
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Default Re: Poems about the Gospels

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
Hmmm...I know you can do better...

Can we hear poems about Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, and 1 & 2 Maccabees please? (If it's easier for you, maybe you can wrap them up into one big poem!)
What can a Papist, boy buggering butt jocky possibly know about poetry?

This maybe?

There once was a nun from Cancun
Nuttier than a loon
Who longed for a Coon
Who could make her heart swoon

Her lust was strong
For a man who was long
As big as King Kong
Who had a big bong

But her lust for the drug
In Gods eye made her a slug
She was squashed like a bug
On God's Holy rug

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus
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  #90  
Old 06-26-2009, 03:52 AM
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Default Re: Poems about the Gospels

Sure thing, Father.

The Catholics being a bunch of reprobates
Mocked God by adding a bunch of extra books to the Bible
Which they did not even authorize as being part of the Bible
Until the 17th century.
It's all a fake
To promote Catholic dogmas
Which had no real Biblical basis.
As God said, whoever adds to His word
Shall have added to his punishment
You can't really add to eternity
But I guess maybe your part of hell will be hotter.
Amen.
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  #91  
Old 06-26-2009, 04:40 PM
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Default Re: Poems about the Gospels

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
Can we hear poems about Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, and 1 & 2 Maccabees please? (If it's easier for you, maybe you can wrap them up into one big poem!)
While we're at it, how about the Qur'an and the Rig-Veda? As long as you papists uncritically believe whatever isn't the KJV, you might as well go all the way.
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  #92  
Old 05-22-2010, 04:44 PM
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Default Re: Poems about the Gospels

I know it is a bit homerish but I submit a haiku to add to the poetry.

He said: it’s written
man lives not on bread alone
but on words from God


matthew 4-4
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Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
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Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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  #93  
Old 10-03-2013, 01:11 AM
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Default Re: Poems about the Gospels

What a shame! After returning from a two-year-absence, I have been greeted with the inability to create a thread. Even fervent bouts of prayer did not help! So here is a poem about the bastard children of the world.

Sometimes I do wrong, but I never forget
That God will be with me always.
And so it’s my job to sling each epithet
At God’s sworn enemy, the gays.

A Christian’s idea of good, wholesome fun
Should not include butt penetration.
As Baptists, we should stand together as one
And get these gays out of the nation.

These lazy-day gays as they spray their perfume
Have no place in the United States.
To our Christian values we all should exhume
And shame these men who masturbate.

Won’t you join with me, brothers, in freeing this land?
Will you rise up against these hell-spawn?
Let’s all pray together that mighty God’s hand
Will crush them and let them be gone!
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  #94  
Old 10-03-2013, 08:47 AM
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Default Re: Poems about the Gospels

Poetry is a great way to praise
and expertly tuned to shame all the gays?
Bravo sir!

Your condemnation
of back door penetration
has given me reason to shout

If one fag has been saved from damnation
with the help of your rhythmic word combination
that's something to be proud about

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