10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
There is a reason why God's favorite nation America could care less about soccer while Hell bound nations like Australia
, New Zealand
, and Denmark
are all playing soccer (some even dare to call it football) all the time. While Americans play God's chosen sports like Baseball, American Football and Basketball the rest of the world is pleasing Satan with soccer. Everyone either involved or interested in soccer will burn in Hell for all eternity.
1st Corinthians 10:31 "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."
#1 Soccer is all about lying and cheating!
The most common way to win a soccer match is to trick the referee into giving you a penalty by feigning an injury
, to make it appear as if a foul has been committed. Soccer players are specialized in dropping down and pretending to be hurt. They study children of 3 years or younger to learn how to perfect this technique. If the match is very important, like a world championship, they usually just bribe the referee
to win. Proverbs 6:16-19 "... the LORD hate ... a lying tongue ... A false witness that speaketh lies ..."
#2 Soccer players want to be treated like prophets!
Too weak or slow to play football? Play soccer. Too short or slow to play basketball? Play soccer. Even though soccer doesn't require any athletic talent or advanced motor skills, soccer players somehow convinced themselves to be very special. Huge crowds of drunk soccer fans
worship these arrogant brats as if they are Jesus Christ Himself. Matthew 24:24 "... false prophets ... deceive the very elect."
#3 Soccer is mostly about sex and drugs!
In 1974 the Dutch lost the World Championship soccer because their players had so much sex and drugs before the world cup final
with Germany that they forgot to show up. Someone even wrote a book
about it! Ephesians 5:18 "... be not drunk ..."
#4 Soccer players are extremely lazy!
If you have a very strong stomach and you can watch soccer for a few minutes without puking your guts out, just pay attention to a single player. It doesn't matter which one. Most of the time this player will either be standing still, or slowly walking from one place to another. If you look even closer you will notice all players only cover a small part of the playing field to minimize the chance of getting tired to an absolute minimum. Proverbs 12:24 "... the lazy man ..."
#5 Soccer prevents people from going to Church!
Most soccer training and soccer matches are on Sundays! Satan deliberately designed soccer this way to doom as much people as possible to Hell by preventing them from going to Church! Acts 20:17 "... the elders of the church."
#6 Soccer makes people gay!
Soccer is all about grown man hugging and touching each other in ways only gays would approve off. The favorite part of a soccer match is when the actual match is over and all players can get naked together in a huge shower. There is not a single soccer player in the world who is not gay. It's reasons like this that make ultra-gays like Sir Elton John a soccer fan! Romans 1:26-27 "... burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly ..."
#7 God has sent us many signs He hates Soccer!
God has warned humanity many times by sending crystal clear signs that He hates soccer! Clear signs like the Heyse Stadium disaster
, the Hillsborough disaster
, the Orkney Stadium Disaster
, the Ellis Park Stadium Disaster
and the Accra Sports Stadium Disaster
leave 0% room for doubt that God hates soccer with a vengeance! Luke 18:27 "... The things which are impossible with men are possible with God."
#8 Soccer supporters are extremely violent!
If a bunch of soccer hooligans would have attacked Afghanistan, we would have won already! Soccer violence is without limits and is the most extreme form of violence known to man. Soccer hooligans are all totally insane psychopaths who completely lose every shred of humanity. Psalm 73:6 "... violence covereth them as a garment ..."
#9 Soccer and fascism are actually the same thing!
No one in their right mind can deny the connection between soccer and fascism. It is very common for soccer fans to wear Nazi symbols and to shout Nazi insults during soccer matches. In German concentration camps zyklon was used to kill as many Jews as possible. For this reason Umbro
named their extremely popular soccer shoe Zyklon
The English (!) soccer team in 1938:
#10 France is successful at soccer!
And to prove for once and for all that God really really hates soccer, just note that France is successful at soccer! Psalm 9:17 "... all the nations that forget God."
All people wasting time on soccer need to repent and accept Jesus Christ as their savior! Until then, they will suffer and they will burn in Hell along with people wasting time on Tennis, Golf, Cricket, Gymnastics, Swimming, Ice Skating, Lacrosse, Curling, Rugby, Softball, Cycling, Hiking, Horse Racing, Skiing, Snowboarding, Triathlon, Wrestling, etc.