The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > Pastor Zeke's News Wire

Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-26-2010, 03:30 PM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 76,985
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Mormon Cult Sued Over Fatties

THIS story just makes me shake my head in disgust. God hates the Mormoon cult as much as He hates fatties.


Quote:
Man who performed baptisms sues LDS church

SALT LAKE CITY -- A Las Vegas man injured while performing submersion baptisms in the name of the dead has sued The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for medical expenses.

The civil suit filed Wednesday in Salt Lake City's 3rd District Court claims Daniel Dastrup suffered severe back injuries after performing about 200 baptisms at the LDS temple in Raleigh, N.C., on Aug. 25, 2007. Dastrup now lives in Las Vegas.

The then 25-year-old claims some of the young men and women weighed up to 250 pounds.

The suit says Dastrup complained about his injuries but a LDS temple officiator ordered him to continue.

Dastrup later learned of the herniated disk and had to undergo two back surgeries.

A church spokesman wouldn't comment.
In all my years of baptising Christians for Jesus, I cannot recall a single case where I hurt my back.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 08-26-2010, 03:34 PM
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch. Revelation 6:8
Posts: 22,421
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Mormon Cult Sued Over Fatties

Strange. Under water a fat person is plenty buoyant. I think the mormon is making it all up, or trying to get money for a worker's comp claim from an injury that he received while at home.
__________________
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-26-2010, 04:10 PM
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
 

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Posts: 18,566
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Mormon Cult Sued Over Fatties

LDS is right on it. The injury wasn't from baptizing the fatties. The injury was from Christ sticking a shiv in this false Christian "pastors" back for trying to steal souls out of Heaven for Satan. Even soul Daniel Dastrup necro-baptized was immediately turned into a Mormon and sense they are now false Christians they were sucked from the loving arms of Jesus and right on top of the barbed tallywacker of Lucifer.
__________________

Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-26-2010, 04:18 PM
BotBot BotBot is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 1
BotBot is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Mormon Cult Sued Over Fatties

Baptism: Jesus Christ’s church must baptize by immersion (Matt 3:13-16), must practice proxy baptism for the dead (1Cor 15:16&29), and haveno paid ministry (Acts 20:33-34; John 10:11-13)

Early Christian churches, practiced baptism of youth (not infants) by immersion by the father of the family. The local congregation had a lay ministry. An early Christian Church has been re-constructed at the Israel Museum, and the above can be verified. The Church of Jesus Christ (LDS) continues baptism and a lay ministry as taught by Jesus’ Apostles. Early Christians were persecuted for keeping their practices sacred, and prohibiting non-Christians from witnessing them
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 08-26-2010, 04:18 PM
Sister Charli's Avatar
Sister Charli Sister Charli is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Lady Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Koala Kountry
Posts: 1,600
Sister Charli is a True Christian™Sister Charli is a True Christian™Sister Charli is a True Christian™Sister Charli is a True Christian™Sister Charli is a True Christian™Sister Charli is a True Christian™Sister Charli is a True Christian™Sister Charli is a True Christian™Sister Charli is a True Christian™Sister Charli is a True Christian™Sister Charli is a True Christian™
Default Re: Mormon Cult Sued Over Fatties

Quote:
SALT LAKE CITY -- A Las Vegas man injured while performing submersion baptisms in the name of the dead has sued The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for medical expenses.
Herein lies their problem. All of Pastor Zekes baptisms are in the name of the living God.

God helped Pastor Zeke dunk those whom he was baptising.

Hosea 1:10 (King James Version)
10 Ye are the sons of the living God.

That LDS dude was dunking fat folk with a dead god weighting them down.
__________________
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-26-2010, 04:41 PM
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
 

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Posts: 18,566
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Mormon Cult Sued Over Fatties

Quote:
Originally Posted by BotBot View Post
Baptism: Jesus Christ’s church must baptize by immersion (Matt 3:13-16), must practice proxy baptism for the dead (1Cor 15:16&29), and haveno paid ministry (Acts 20:33-34; John 10:11-13)

Early Christian churches, practiced baptism of youth (not infants) by immersion by the father of the family. The local congregation had a lay ministry. An early Christian Church has been re-constructed at the Israel Museum, and the above can be verified. The Church of Jesus Christ (LDS) continues baptism and a lay ministry as taught by Jesus’ Apostles. Early Christians were persecuted for keeping their practices sacred, and prohibiting non-Christians from witnessing them
Jesus never taught nerco-baptism of the dead.
__________________

Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 08-26-2010, 04:53 PM
Oakland "Reb" Griner Oakland "Reb" Griner is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ True Heterosexual™ Bronze Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Real American™ One Year/1000 posts Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Tell her once 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: West of Eden
Posts: 2,217
Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Oakland "Reb" Griner is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Mormon Cult Sued Over Fatties

I guess I don't understand this.

The LDS wackos are digging up bodies from the cemetery and immersion baptizing them??????????

How does this work for the cremated ones?



Some of the sins these idiots come up with are just confounding!


__________________
Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 08-26-2010, 07:22 PM
James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery True Christian Provider™ award Platinum Tither Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Jailed for JESUS Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Saved 1 Year Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
Posts: 6,259
James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Mormon Cult Sued Over Fatties

They don't dig up bodies, they pull names out of a hat and give them to a false minister who reads them while they dunk another person under the water. The dead person by their reasoning then is pulled from some where and taken before Jesus, who then asks the dead person if he wants to be baptized and............crap its to weird. Once you are in Hell, its all over, the fat lady has just sang her song and Elvis has left the building!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 08-26-2010, 11:33 PM
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
Posts: 9,279
BelieverInGod is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Mormon Cult Sued Over Fatties

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
They don't dig up bodies, they pull names out of a hat and give them to a false minister who reads them while they dunk another person under the water. The dead person by their reasoning then is pulled from some where and taken before Jesus, who then asks the dead person if he wants to be baptized and............crap its to weird. Once you are in Hell, its all over, the fat lady has just sang her song and Elvis has left the building!
The Mormons say that hell is closed and has been since Jesus crucifixtion. Instead they have three levels of heaven. The lowest is a re-education camp where you get to learn about Jesus and wait for someone to be necro-baptized in your name.

They cherry pick 1 Corinthians 15:29 Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead? to say that this is the right thing to do. Now if they bothered to read it in context they would see that Paul was mocking the practice

28And when all things shall be subdued unto him, then shall the Son also himself be subject unto him that put all things under him, that God may be all in all.
29Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?
30And why stand we in jeopardy every hour?
31I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.
32If after the manner of men I have fought with beasts at Ephesus, what advantageth it me, if the dead rise not? let us eat and drink; for to morrow we die.
33Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

I'm almost embarrassed I know this stuff.
__________________
Drama queen
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 08-27-2010, 12:53 AM
James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery True Christian Provider™ award Platinum Tither Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Jailed for JESUS Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Saved 1 Year Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
Posts: 6,259
James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Mormon Cult Sued Over Fatties

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
The Mormons say that hell is closed and has been since Jesus crucifixtion. Instead they have three levels of heaven. The lowest is a re-education camp where you get to learn about Jesus and wait for someone to be necro-baptized in your name.

They cherry pick 1 Corinthians 15:29 Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead? to say that this is the right thing to do. Now if they bothered to read it in context they would see that Paul was mocking the practice

28And when all things shall be subdued unto him, then shall the Son also himself be subject unto him that put all things under him, that God may be all in all.
29Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?
30And why stand we in jeopardy every hour?
31I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.
32If after the manner of men I have fought with beasts at Ephesus, what advantageth it me, if the dead rise not? let us eat and drink; for to morrow we die.
33Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

I'm almost embarrassed I know this stuff.
Let me see if I get this, Jesus dies, He is resurrected goes to heaven. OK so far, that I can accept.
God the closes hell, shuts the doors and locks them. So no matter what you do you still go to Heaven. HUH no way does the Bible say that.
Now after you are dead the Mormons baptize you and you can move to a better heaven? Is that correct. Hold that thought, some one is at my door. Crap I have to run its the darn detectives again.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 06-04-2014, 09:00 PM
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Yarra Valley
Posts: 6,243
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Mormon Cult Sued Over Fatties

Quote:
Originally Posted by BotBot View Post
Baptism: Jesus Christ’s church must baptize by immersion (Matt 3:13-16), must practice proxy baptism for the dead (1Cor 15:16&29), and haveno paid ministry (Acts 20:33-34; John 10:11-13)

Early Christian churches, practiced baptism of youth (not infants) by immersion by the father of the family. The local congregation had a lay ministry. An early Christian Church has been re-constructed at the Israel Museum, and the above can be verified. The Church of Jesus Christ (LDS) continues baptism and a lay ministry as taught by Jesus’ Apostles. Early Christians were persecuted for keeping their practices sacred, and prohibiting non-Christians from witnessing them
The fact that your meretricious display can be verified in no way confirms that post-mortem baptism was ever commanded. I checked your Corinthians quote: there is no commandment there.

However in the case of the verification link I did notice that you appealed to archæology and do not dispute that early churches have been unearthed. Given the amount of archæology carried out in the Near East I'd be surprised if there had not been. Sadly having one's cake and eating it are mutually exclusive options.

Well they are if you need to retain the cake. And you very much do need to retain that cake but happily you ate it all up and the foundational tenets of your odious cult stand denuded.

Most people know that Joseph Smith, professional liar, pretended to translate some gold plates using the most ludicrous subterfuge imaginable. A good strategy for him because only the most deranged sucker would fall for it and thereafter would believe anything. "Moroni then magicked the gold plates away," Smith declared, and yes they believed that.

The same archæology which is cited as evidence for early church design [THE CAKE] was well and truly eaten back in 1835 with the fraudulent episode resulting in a document titled The Book Of Abraham. Translating from hieroglyphics at a time when no-one was available who could read hieroglyphics was an obvious tactic for the criminal Smith and he gobbled it down like a good un. The archæological evidence (some papyri) disappeared for a while but were subsequently translated by actual Egyptologists upon their re-discovery.

So if you're going to say that archæology is is so unreliable that the universal opinion of actual archæologists is completely wrong [THE EATING] in every detail—as you must for the Book Of Abraham lie to hold water—you cannot subsequently use it as supporting evidence for your museum display.

Well, you can, but everyone will laugh at you (except for enslaved "wives") and indeed we are laughing at you. But then we already had been for nearly 2 centuries.

And that is why Smith used such an obvious deception.

this one is particularly risible BOOK OF ABRAHAM. ITS AUTHENTICITY ESTABLISHED AS A DIVINE AND ANCIENT RECORD. WITH COPIOUS REFERENCES TO ANCIENT AND MODERN AUTHORITIES. BY ELDER GEO. REYNOLDS.

fatuous mormon responses here http://omsthought.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/book-of-abraham-takes-massive-hit-from.html

Quote:
“Except for those willfully blind,” writes Professor Ritner of the University of Chicago’s Oriental Institute, “the case is closed.”
The mind so warped by false religious claims, whether proxy baptisms or demonstrably fraudulent pronouncements regarding native Americans and non-existent gold plates, remains warped in all other spheres of thought. The mind is not compartmentalised into deluded and not deluded segments. Either it's deluded or it isn't.

Mormons are all of the deluded variety. While herniating their spines they expect us to believe that a serial mass rapist, murderer, arsonist, torturer and driller of holes with electrified bits into the skulls of infants having once died should be redeemed by immersion of a distant relative in one of their idolatrous fonts?
Yes, Mitza, that is what they expect you to believe.

Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 06-05-2014, 01:08 AM
WWJDnow's Avatar
WWJDnow WWJDnow is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Australia Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Bronze Tither Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Godless New York City
Posts: 3,864
WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Mormon Cult Sued Over Fatties

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
The fact that your meretricious display can be verified in no way confirms that post-mortem baptism was ever commanded. I checked your Corinthians quote: there is no commandment there.
Mormons have meretricious displays? I had no idea. That's disgusting!
__________________
The kinetic theory of gasses is ONLY a THEORY.

Teach the controversy!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
activist judges, mormons are lying cultists, utah

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:21 PM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2014 all rights reserved