The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship

General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-06-2011, 11:43 PM
Lycia The Repentant's Avatar
Lycia The Repentant Lycia The Repentant is offline
Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord
Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus True Christian Lady True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Flat Earth The Lord’s Witness Wound Cleanest Kitchen One Year/1000 posts 4th Year Bible College The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Born again virgin Most Obedient Best stoning bucket Tin Tither Persecuted Pro-Life Ex-Slut Born again virgin 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
Posts: 2,014
Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Cool Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today!

Hey kids! Have you ever had to sit in your fifth grade class and listen to your atheist schoolmates drone on and on about how much they hate God and love making him angry by fornicating all the time? Did you then think to yourself "I hate how so many people in the world would rather spit on Baby Jesus than accept His gift of Salvation, but I don't know what I can do to stop it."? Well, I am pleased to announce the formation of a super-cool True Christian™ club that's dedicated to stopping all forms of sexual Godmockery and keeping kids pure until they enter a marriage that can only be left through the most byzantine of circumstances! I'm talking about the Junior Anti-Sex League!



So what is the Junior Anti-Sex League? Why, we're a group of only the coolest youths who are interested in stopping all fornication by attacking it at it's source; by banning birth control and any sexual education that isn't abstinence-only! Here's our mission statement:

"Our mission: To work towards a world where Biblical precepts regarding fornication are rigidly enforced, where marital sex is to be looked on as a disgusting minor operation, and where our children are protected from the corrupting message of any educational approach that doesn't view total abstinence before marriage as the ONLY correct answer!"

Shout Glory! Doesn't that just sound awesome? I might even go so far as to say it's totally radical.

Now, in addition to being a member of a group that's comprised of the coolest kids on the block who like to pay special attention to the parts of the Bible mentioning the wickedness of fornicators (Proverbs 2, 5, 7 and 9 come to mind immediately!), every full member of the Junior Anti-Sex League will receive a red sash to wear around their waist so they can show the world not only how seriously cool they are, but how serious they are about saving it for marriage!

So what are you waiting for, kids? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League today!
__________________
"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.

Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01-06-2011, 11:50 PM
Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
True Christian™ Televangelist
Director of Fundraising and Tithing
On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Tithing Manager Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Teabag Patriot Saved 1 Year One Year/1000 posts True Scientist™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Japan Iceland Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 8,708
Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

What a wonderful, original idea that you have come up with Sister Lycia! I have no doubt many of the problems we face in this world (hurricanes, tornadoes, stock market and economic collapses, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan) are due to God being angry and punishing us for allowing wanton premarital sex to happen among youth. I'd be more than happy to volunteer to devote my time to helping young women in your group learn to protect themselves against the temptation of fornication.
__________________

Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-07-2011, 12:02 AM
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Posts: 15,410
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Praise! Now that sounds like the kind of groovy idea that today's youth will really think is "Exceptionally wizard*, dude!"

* Wizard here is being used as a piece of harmless teen slang, and has no actual connection to Satan's Dark Arts.
__________________
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-07-2011, 01:05 AM
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
Posts: 9,266
BelieverInGod is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

What ages are you looking at?
__________________
Drama queen
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-07-2011, 02:26 AM
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 7 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
 

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Posts: 13,573
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

You can count me in! I'm all about helping kids find JESUS!

Please tell them then can also receive a FREE T-SHIRT for joining my Anti-Masturbation Club!



Sister Thumper
__________________


Find me on FaceBook Here
Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here


Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-07-2011, 10:11 AM
Lycia The Repentant's Avatar
Lycia The Repentant Lycia The Repentant is offline
Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord
Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus True Christian Lady True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Flat Earth The Lord’s Witness Wound Cleanest Kitchen One Year/1000 posts 4th Year Bible College The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Born again virgin Most Obedient Best stoning bucket Tin Tither Persecuted Pro-Life Ex-Slut Born again virgin 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
Posts: 2,014
Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
What ages are you looking at?
Well, the Junior Anti-Sex League is primarily geared towards young adults interested in a primarily sexless existence, but the group is open to anybody and everybody who is interested in bringing about a world where fornication and pre-marital sex aren't just sins, but sins with appropriate Biblical punishments. The Junior Anti-Sex League is already proud to count the esteemed Rev. Jim Osbourne as not only a member but the leader of the Young Ladies' Division, and we are proud to accept any older members who are interested in steering our nation's children toward a chaste and pure future.

Let me just leave you with this bit of scripture, Sister BiG. We're always on the lookout not only for interested youths, but also for people who can teach them proper True Christian™ values.

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5
__________________
"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.

Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-07-2011, 01:38 PM
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Yarra Valley
Posts: 5,921
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

This is a superb idea!

One thing that confronts me - and is geared to entrap the young & ingenuous - is the proliferation of "ladies of the night" at the many music and "art" festivals that are so much in vogue. And not only by night! Wanton whores display themselves in full sunlight with no shame, and would entice others into a life of degradation UNLESS they had been educated in how to recognise the signs. Forewarned is forearmed.

*Look what can so soon result (although in Australia - a nation built on compulsory prostitution - this might not be so unusual)
*And we are up against this sort of propaganda!

I can't think about this any more now. I need to go and lie down.
_________________________
* EDIT: CLICK WITH CAUTION
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-07-2011, 04:37 PM
Joshua The Converted's Avatar
Joshua The Converted Joshua The Converted is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Letchworth Garden City, England
Posts: 46
Joshua The Converted is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

I'd love to join! But, I have 2 concerns. Does me not being a True Christian stop me from joining? And does my being in England matter?
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-07-2011, 04:49 PM
Felicity's Avatar
Felicity Felicity is offline
As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
True Christian™

Cleanest Kitchen Virgin True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Home Schooled Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Real American™ Best Pie Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Public Awareness Medal True Christian Beauty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 4,815
Felicity is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Felicity is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Felicity is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Felicity is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Felicity is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Felicity is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Felicity is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Felicity is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Felicity is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Felicity is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Felicity is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

I joined!
__________________
I Jesus!
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 01-07-2011, 05:04 PM
Lycia The Repentant's Avatar
Lycia The Repentant Lycia The Repentant is offline
Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord
Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus True Christian Lady True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Flat Earth The Lord’s Witness Wound Cleanest Kitchen One Year/1000 posts 4th Year Bible College The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Born again virgin Most Obedient Best stoning bucket Tin Tither Persecuted Pro-Life Ex-Slut Born again virgin 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
Posts: 2,014
Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joshua The Converted View Post
I'd love to join! But, I have 2 concerns. Does me not being a True Christian stop me from joining? And does my being in England matter?
Well Josh, not being a True Christian™ is a little bit of a problem, but I see that you have been making a serious effort to get yourself Saved©. As of right now the Junior Anti-Sex League is open to anybody who's interested in stopping fornication, but know that any suggestions you make as to the League's policy will need to be vetted by a True Christian™ leader of the League. Also, League membership is dependent on acting in a manner that coincides with League goals, and membership may be revoked for conduct unbefitting of the League.

As for you residing in England, I don't think that will be a problem. It is true that God has turned his favor away from Englandistan in recent years, but if it weren't for King James we wouldn't have the KJV Bible, so in a way you can even say that the Junior Anti-Sex League owes its existence to Englandistan (but more to America)!

So, I am hereby offering you (and any other people interested in stopping fornication who aren't True Christians™) a chance to join the Junior Anti-Sex League as an Outer Member. This gives you the right to join the group's presence on the LBC forums, partake in our discussions and to proudly let people know you are a member. However, we do restrict the official red sash to our True Christian™ Full Members, so we will not be sending you one at this time. You are allowed to make your own unofficial red sash though, so long as you acknowledge your Outer Membership status on it.

Now, on a different note, I am pleased to announce the Junior Anti-Sex League has taken an official position on the recruitment of older members, as this seems to have been a bit of a point of consternation. In the interest of having enough members where we can always watch and lovingly correct our Outer Members when they may stray from the path of chastity, the Junior Anti-Sex League is officially open to all applicants, regardless of age. Furthermore, we ask that any Full Members over the age of 24 be addressed with the titles "Big Brother" and "Big Sister" (as opposed to just "Brother" and "Sister") in all official Junior Anti-Sex League correspondence.

Thank you for your time friends, and remember, we will one day have a world where the grievous sins of fornication and pre-marital sex are dealt with exactly how God wants. Praise Jesus!
__________________
"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.

Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 01-07-2011, 05:54 PM
Joshua The Converted's Avatar
Joshua The Converted Joshua The Converted is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Letchworth Garden City, England
Posts: 46
Joshua The Converted is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Thank you for inviting me, Lycia. How do I join? I went to the group's page, and it doesn't have a Join button that I can see.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 01-07-2011, 05:56 PM
Lycia The Repentant's Avatar
Lycia The Repentant Lycia The Repentant is offline
Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord
Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus True Christian Lady True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Flat Earth The Lord’s Witness Wound Cleanest Kitchen One Year/1000 posts 4th Year Bible College The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Born again virgin Most Obedient Best stoning bucket Tin Tither Persecuted Pro-Life Ex-Slut Born again virgin 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
Posts: 2,014
Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joshua The Converted View Post
Thank you for inviting me, Lycia. How do I join? I went to the group's page, and it doesn't have a Join button that I can see.
It should be at the top of the page, right across from where it says "Social Group". Let me know if you still can't get it and I'll set the group to send you an invitation.
__________________
"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.

Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 01-07-2011, 05:59 PM
Dutch Girl's Avatar
Dutch Girl Dutch Girl is offline
Unsaved trash - God mocking whore
 

Caution - Poster is on Drugs Caution - Poster is Crazy 

Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Amsterdam
Posts: 272
Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dutch Girl is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

The members of this group need to get laid, seriously.
__________________


Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He’d hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He’d windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee’s knees. Jesus is like the monster truck of love and you are an old Geo Metro which he will roar his massive engine over and crush your pathetic fiberglass frame into a crumpled heap. Praise Jesus, especially when it’s sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.

- Ecclesiastes xii.7
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 01-07-2011, 06:10 PM
Joshua The Converted's Avatar
Joshua The Converted Joshua The Converted is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Letchworth Garden City, England
Posts: 46
Joshua The Converted is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

The members of this group that are married (if there are any) could "get laid", as you put it. The other's couldn't. I'm not sure if it's classed as Adultery or Fornication, either way, it's wrong.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 01-07-2011, 06:22 PM
Joshua The Converted's Avatar
Joshua The Converted Joshua The Converted is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Letchworth Garden City, England
Posts: 46
Joshua The Converted is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
It should be at the top of the page, right across from where it says "Social Group". Let me know if you still can't get it and I'll set the group to send you an invitation.
There isn't a button there. It may be because I'm not a True Christian, but I can't find the button. Could you please invite me?
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 01-07-2011, 06:27 PM
Lycia The Repentant's Avatar
Lycia The Repentant Lycia The Repentant is offline
Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord
Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus True Christian Lady True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Flat Earth The Lord’s Witness Wound Cleanest Kitchen One Year/1000 posts 4th Year Bible College The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Born again virgin Most Obedient Best stoning bucket Tin Tither Persecuted Pro-Life Ex-Slut Born again virgin 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
Posts: 2,014
Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Lycia The Repentant will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joshua The Converted View Post
There isn't a button there. It may be because I'm not a True Christian, but I can't find the button. Could you please invite me?
Hmm, it seems that JesOS has the forums set so users under investigation cannot join social groups. I wasn't aware of that, so I apologize for that. However, as leader of the Junior Anti-Sex League I hereby give you permission to refer to yourself as a probationary member until the results of your DoF investigation are processed. Though your name won't appear in the official membership lists please feel free to spread our message of chastity and purity.
__________________
"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.

Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 01-07-2011, 06:44 PM
Joshua The Converted's Avatar
Joshua The Converted Joshua The Converted is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Letchworth Garden City, England
Posts: 46
Joshua The Converted is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Thank you Lycia. What does DoF stand for, and why am I being investigated by them? I suppose it is because I might secretly be a God-Mocking Pastafarian?
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 01-07-2011, 08:29 PM
Girl For God's Avatar
Girl For God Girl For God is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Bible Belt
Posts: 42
Girl For God is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Girl For God is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Girl For God is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Girl For God is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

I was in Freehold, Iowa last month on business and witnessed a highly respected member of the Landover Church giving money to a local prostitute. I was shocked at what I saw. I think we all deserve an explanation for what took place. I have it recorded on my phone.
__________________
[B]Proverbs 1:7 (KJV)[/B]


[SIZE=3]The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.[/SIZE]
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 01-07-2011, 08:36 PM
genisisread's Avatar
genisisread genisisread is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1
genisisread is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

According to the bible, God killed 2,391,421 people and Satan only killed 10.

Anyone think that we could be following the wrong guy?

I just read the sickest book in the world.

There was paedophilia, incest, rape, violence, domestic abuse, jews, blacks, pakis. It was piffleing great.

I think it was called 'The Bible'.
So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...

Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

So Jesus was crucified on Good Friday and rose from the dead on the Sunday?

Just in time for half price Easter eggs. Typical piffleing Jew.

you thought you had lag?

It took Jesus 3 days to respawn.
Don't you love the tan lines that girls get after sunbathing? It's almost like god came down and highlighted all the important parts.
BBC News - "Stephen Hawking: God did not create Universe"

If God DID exist, he'd be pretty pissed off. In fact, if I was god I would probably have gone back in time and punished Hawking in some horrible way...

Nope, no sign of that.
Baptism.....

Another Excuse priests use to get kids wet

The problem with Baptists is that they don't hold them under water long enough
Christianity: One woman's lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand.
I used to have an invisible friend, then I stopped going to church.

I got kicked out of the library once for moving all the Bibles to the fiction section.

A woman whose daughter was hospitalised in a US tornado told ITV News that "God would make her better." Presumably, that's a different God from the one that almost killed her with a tornado.

People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.

If we're all God's children, then what's so special about Jesus?

Anyone else find it funny that the disclaimer "The characters in this film are authentic and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental" is in the credits for 'The Passion of the Christ'?


I saw a sign outside a church which read:

"C H - R C H... There's only one thing missing."

I'm not sure "CHPROOFRCH" is even a word.


My christian neighbour told me that he will always follow his Bible.

So I threw it off a cliff

Christianity: the belief that a 2,000-year old Jewish zombie will get angry if you masturbate.

Christianity - The religion based on the irony of a carpenter being nailed to a giant wooden cross

How do you execute a real character?

By nailing him to a cross.






Mary: I have something to tell you... I'm pregnant. It's not yours. I'm sorry.

Joseph: ....Holy piffle.


Mary: Funny you should say that...

The Bible is too wordy, the stories are too wordy, there's no need for the ten commandments.

The Bible should be just one sheet of paper that says:

'Try not to be a cunt.'
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 01-07-2011, 08:46 PM
Joshua The Converted's Avatar
Joshua The Converted Joshua The Converted is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Letchworth Garden City, England
Posts: 46
Joshua The Converted is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today

Woah, Genesisread, you seem to be pretty sceptic. And I suppose you could say Jesus "respawned", but not in the way as seen on Call Of Duty, where you die, and you're brought back to life. The Bible should be as it is, as it tells people how to live their lives. "Try not to be a cooter" is insuficient. And, God did punish Steven Hawking, by giving him a form of Motor Neurone Disease known as Amyotrophic Lateral Schlerosis, which I think is not enough. His punishment should have been death, and then eternity in the fires of Hell. But, I guess God just wanted to watch him suffer for a while, giving him that horrible disease, and then letting him spend eternity in Hell.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
junior anti-sex league, protect our youth!, slutpocalypse

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:28 AM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2009 all rights reserved