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  #461  
Old 03-28-2012, 01:10 AM
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

The Pope of Rome whoring it up in satan's favorite resort deeply offends me.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #462  
Old 03-28-2012, 07:37 AM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore View Post
Snails.

Every time it rains my drive is covered in them and so when I take the car out I end up running over loads of them. It sounds like popcorn after heavy rain.
Have you considered:

http://hungeree.com/skincare/the-snail-facial/

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  #463  
Old 03-28-2012, 12:51 PM
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Catherine Moore Catherine Moore is offline
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

The thought of putting snails on my face? I'm not sure I'm ever going to stop vomiting.
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  #464  
Old 03-28-2012, 01:27 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Whore periodicals in the checkout line at the supermarket. Vogue, Bazaar (at least spell it correctly, DUH!), Redbook, Elle, etc.

Look, if I wanted to see a bunch of prostitutes I'd go down to the corner of 10th and Lexington, BUT I DON'T WANT TO!



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
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  #465  
Old 03-28-2012, 03:21 PM
herbertLovesGod herbertLovesGod is offline
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
Whore periodicals in the checkout line at the supermarket. Vogue, Bazaar (at least spell it correctly, DUH!), Redbook, Elle, etc.
Redbook? Sounds like this homo's influences:



Servant Herbert.
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  #466  
Old 03-28-2012, 03:46 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

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Originally Posted by herbertLovesGod View Post
Redbook? Sounds like this homo's influences:



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Wrong homer
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  #467  
Old 03-28-2012, 04:07 PM
herbertLovesGod herbertLovesGod is offline
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore View Post
Wrong homer
I bet this gaykenyan has an article or two in it also:
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  #468  
Old 03-29-2012, 02:36 AM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

I thought I was offended by this guy a few days ago:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post


Frankly, I can find only one thing even marginally redeeming about this "man" and his "band", and they accomplish it only while insulting America anyway!

They manage to clearly disprove the "moon landing" hoax with one of their "music" videos (this one is SFW):

Now I'm even MORE offended. In spite of their mocking the Moon Landing Hoax.

I found out that this cavalcade of corruption has been allowed to visit the United States, and will be weaving their twisted tapestry of Teutonic titillation all over the country in April and May of this very year. In fact, they will be warping young minds in Tacoma just when I'm scheduled to swing through on the I-5 leg of my Truck Stop Ministry!

Perhaps I will protest this perversion outside the Tacoma Dome. Who will join me in publicly calling out these demon-infested sodomites and begging the Lord to bring them to Him?
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  #469  
Old 03-29-2012, 03:18 AM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

My anger continues to grow as Pastor Ezekiel has informed me that not one, not two, but three Ex-Gays-in-Progress clicked the video link I posted earlier (the one I said NOT to click) during a group session, and soon after were so driven to their sodomitious lusts that they attempted to rape Professor Bessemer!

I am told the good Professor did escape with his dignity intact, and that the would-be-ex-gays have been deal with.
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  #470  
Old 04-01-2012, 12:45 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Today my wife noticed that mould was growing on the walls on the children's room. What's your problem with nature i said. So i ordered her to make mushroom tomorrow with Steaks. Then i will show the family that mold is nothing more then a tasty mushroom and there is nothing dangrous about it.
Hope it works.
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  #471  
Old 04-01-2012, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton View Post
Today my wife noticed that mould was growing on the walls on the children's room. What's your problem with nature i said. So i ordered her to make mushroom tomorrow with Steaks. Then i will show the family that mold is nothing more then a tasty mushroom and there is nothing dangrous about it.
Hope it works.
Well I always take penicillin when I have the flu or a cold and sure enough, after a day or two (never longer than a week or so) and I'm as fit as a guitar

YIC
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  #472  
Old 04-01-2012, 01:13 PM
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Titus Templeton Titus Templeton is offline
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurence Niles View Post
Well I always take penicillin when I have the flu or a cold and sure enough, after a day or two (never longer than a week or so) and I'm as fit as a guitar

YIC
Posted via Mobile Device
Thank the Lord for mushrooms. To be honest i have never tasted penicillin. Has it something to do with penis because the word peni(s) is in it..?
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  #473  
Old 04-01-2012, 10:50 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

I'm offended by Facebook!

Generally, of course, but also specifically their "groups" system.

Just last week, seven fine, upstanding men in my congregation were found to be members of the "NAMBLA Supporters" group on Facebook. And I'm not talking about a few back-row believers who come to church every few weeks, sit in the pew, and go home. We don't have members like that. These men are all heavily involved in church ministries.

Some participate in our youth outreach ministry, which visits high schools and middle schools in the area to share the Joy of Jesus (after school hours and from a discreet church van parked in the public right-of-way, thank you very much, ACLU and FFRF! ). One coaches the church youth baseball team. Another is Scoutmaster for the Boy Scout troop affiliated with our church.

What's more, every one of these fine men helps out with the annual Boy Scout campout each summer. For the last three years, they've refused any help from me or the other men in the congregation, saying how much they love the woods and bonding with the boys, and that it's no trouble at all.

Naturally, we at Second Baptist were horrified. Could their accounts have been hacked? What if someone had stolen their identities?

Fortunately, it was nothing so terrible. An investigation revealed that a "friend" of theirs had added all of them to the NAMBLA Supporters group without their permission! That's a Facebook "feature", the ability to add hundreds of people to whatever group you've created, whether it be the "Poets of Reason" or "A List Atheists" or "NAMBLA Supporters" or "Kiddy Porn Swap", without asking them, and they have no way to prevent it! They get one email telling them they are in a group, and that's the only time they can leave without jumping through all sorts of hoops.

So who was this "friend"?

It took some digging through their old emails (with their permission of course), but we found him. The email said, "NAME REDACTED has added you to NAMBLA Supporters".

"NAME REDACTED" was a man they said they'd talked to when they went to Indianapolis to protest the homosexual agenda outside the Unicorn Club, a depraved filthy place where young boys dance nearly nude (and often sell access to their tight rear entries for as little as $10 after closing, I'm told). This guy was the owner of the Unicorn Club. The fine men from my congregation explained that he pretended to be interested in knowing more about Jesus and asked them to be Facebook friends with him.

Each and every one of these men had thought the Facebook email to be spam, and had deleted it. One had gone so far as to reformat his hard drive to purge the spam from it, but didn't realize it still existed on the email server.

So, that's why I'm offended by Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg (ahem) has built this sytem specifically designed so that homosexuals and other lefty liberals can add Christian men to depraved groups without their permission, and attempt to ruin their reputations and make Christianity look bad!
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Old 04-01-2012, 11:25 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

I am offended by the existance of public libraries. Anyone can wander in and pick up a book on any number of foul subjects and just read!


I am also offended by the number of people who have been taught to read.



Offendedly Yours,

Handmaiden
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  #475  
Old 04-02-2012, 04:20 AM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
I am offended by the existance of public libraries. Anyone can wander in and pick up a book on any number of foul subjects and just read!


I am also offended by the number of people who have been taught to read.



Offendedly Yours,

Handmaiden
Sister, I think you'd like the library in my town.

We have three sets of bookshelves filled with nothing but Bibles of all different versions: Regular KJV, Large-Print KJV, Red-Letter KJV, and more! We also have audio KJV!

For those who have memorized the Bible, and can prove it via an examination, prominent Christian authors like R.J. Rushdoony are also featured.

But we know kids like to read things other than the Bible from time to time, so there's also a great children's section! We've got works like "Heather Has Two Hellbound Mommies" and "Daddy's Roommate is a Sodomite Pedophile Who Touches Me in Bad Places". I'm told the librarian is working to get authorization to reprint the Pediabear books in the rare books collection!
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  #476  
Old 04-03-2012, 04:02 AM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

The fact that their are places in our world like Holland where homer mairage, hooker sex, and drugs are all fully illegal Even worse there are actualy people that want to bring those policies to our great land. It is sick they will spread what ever propaganda they can think of to get people on their side.
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  #477  
Old 04-03-2012, 04:11 AM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

I'm offended by this smilie:



I mean, not only is the one in back colored in gay pride colors (purple), but it gleefully jumps on and rapes the innocent yellow smilie from behind. Surely this kind of thing preys on the innocence of children who don't know what rape or homosexuality is. By the time they hear about these horrible offenses, they've been conditioned to think they're "cute" because the happy little smile faces are the first thing they think about.
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  #478  
Old 04-03-2012, 02:25 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SheepOfGod View Post
The fact that their are places in our world like Holland where homer mairage, hooker sex, and drugs are all fully illegal Even worse there are actualy people that want to bring those policies to our great land. It is sick they will spread what ever propaganda they can think of to get people on their side.

Tell me about it, and most of them are even proud off it. Luckily there are some government officials who refuse to marry homers. And those are judged by the media as homerphobes. They're not scared of any homers, it just disgusts them as much as me.

On the hookers, they want to turn some red light district in orderly neighborhoods. And most people protest that it will loose the historic "touch". Well, that ain't my kind of touching, pall (well those "people" aren't my friends anyway)!

If the idiots who're using drugs kill themselves, that's the punishment (of GOD) that they deserve. And it happens more and more

Exporting that propaganda with some retard attitude like "Look we have windmills and flowers, so we are nice people and we must be right propagandizing sodomy as well" is out of bounds. I just hope all those retards will receive their righteous judgment soon. It won't be as fun as looking down to hell from heaven (I'm studying and living the KJV as much as I can to get saved in time), but I feel a epidemic disease coming to this country. Looking forward to it!

With other words I'm offended by the country I live in
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  #479  
Old 04-03-2012, 03:54 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

For this week I am offended by the suggestions that Mitt Romney is stiff and hard. As his wife Ann says, just unzip the man you will see just how flexible he is.
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  #480  
Old 04-03-2012, 11:46 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

At least he not carrying one of those kenyan zombie things like Obama.
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