The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women

Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 02-26-2011, 02:37 PM
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
Posts: 11,026
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Quote:
Originally Posted by Helge Fossmo View Post
No, Jesus is a white heterosexual protestant like the rest of us.
JESUS!!!
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 02-26-2011, 04:22 PM
Bob4God's Avatar
Bob4God Bob4God is offline
Moderator
Arms Dealer for CHRIST
Hands folded for Jesus
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '06 2008 Witch Hunt Award Silver Tither Real American™ Heaven Bound Home Schooled Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Ex-Gay Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Christian Love Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
Posts: 5,226
Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

When I was a child I went through a phase where I refused to go to the bathroom because I was afraid JESUS was watching. I would hold it until I simply went in my pants and then my mother would have to clean it up.

This went on till I was about 9, until my relationship with JESUS CHRIST become strong enough that I was finally comfortable letting Him watch me go to the bathroom.

Of course it's still a shameful act and I ask GOD to forgive me for exposing myself to Him, but I no longer go in my pants and I feel that is something that any True Christian could be proud to admit.
__________________

The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 02-27-2011, 07:55 AM
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
Posts: 9,279
BelieverInGod is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Well there's always adult diapers, but I don't like the idea of leaving those behind.

Perhaps we'll get a 15 second warning; just enough time to pull up the pants/down the skirt and flush.
__________________
Drama queen
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 03-08-2011, 01:26 AM
Lola Handcock Lola Handcock is offline
Forum Member

Uppity Woman/Enabler Uppity Woman/Enabler Cherry-picker Fluffy bunny 

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: looking out the window of my Double wide
Posts: 742
Lola Handcock has bribed people to get these reputation points.Lola Handcock has bribed people to get these reputation points.Lola Handcock has bribed people to get these reputation points.Lola Handcock has bribed people to get these reputation points.Lola Handcock has bribed people to get these reputation points.Lola Handcock has bribed people to get these reputation points.Lola Handcock has bribed people to get these reputation points.Lola Handcock has bribed people to get these reputation points.Lola Handcock has bribed people to get these reputation points.Lola Handcock has bribed people to get these reputation points.Lola Handcock has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Men are so lucky, they can stand up and act like nothing is happening, we ladies have to sit with our feet dangling in the air, helpless and confused.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 03-08-2011, 01:42 AM
Titus Templeton's Avatar
Titus Templeton Titus Templeton is offline
Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
Jesus macht frei
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Gold Tither Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life One Year/1000 posts True Christian Artist True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Public Awareness Medal 

Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
Posts: 4,214
Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Its discusting when some people abuse toilet papers!
__________________
Atheists have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust.




Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 03-08-2011, 10:26 AM
PrinsesseAnja's Avatar
PrinsesseAnja PrinsesseAnja is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Denmark
Posts: 58
PrinsesseAnja is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.PrinsesseAnja is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.PrinsesseAnja is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.PrinsesseAnja is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
I hate going to the toilet as I can't help but feeling that Jesus disapproves of such a filthy act. Surely it can't be pleasant for Him having to see something as disgusting as a person ur***ting or def**ating.
.
Dont you think, that Jesus makes a popo once in a while?
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 03-08-2011, 11:48 AM
Fryer Good Shepherd's Avatar
Fryer Good Shepherd Fryer Good Shepherd is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: in a bar under the sea
Posts: 40
Fryer Good Shepherd is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Fryer Good Shepherd is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Thumbs up Re: I hate going to the toilet

I don't think jesus minds you guys/girls defecating.

Hell, read this article. We may well be made out of poo (instead of dust)

A RESPECTED scientist has put forward the stunning - if unsavoury -
possibility that humans are descended from sewage dumped overboard by
aliens.
Dr Andrei Arkhipov, of the Institute of Radio Astronomy in Kharkiv in the
Ukraine, claims that the ultimate origin of life on Earth began with
microbes, which had come through the atmosphere as lumps of alien waste. It
is hardly the sort of explanation one normally associates with the
scientific community. Yet Dr Arkhipov's ideas have been deemed sufficiently
cogent to appear in the latest issue of The Observatory, a respected
astronomical research journal.
While many will turn their noses up at such a suggestion, scientists admit
that they have long had problems trying to explain how life on Earth began.
Conditions on the early Earth were so awful that no one can figure out how
delicate chemicals like DNA needed for life managed to develop.
To get around this problem, some experts have suggested that perhaps life
came to Earth from outer space ready-made, in the form of bacteria or
viruses. The question then becomes: how did it get here?
Dr Arkhipov points out that our own space programme has led to
microbe-bearing "debris" being dumped in space. Organisms buried deep within
such debris would also be very well protected from the rigours of the
cosmos. "For example, freeze-dried spores in drops of rocket fuel, or human
faecal material from our spacecraft, are quite well adapted to interstellar
travel," Dr Arkhipov writes.
And if we humans have already started dumping such stuff into space, argues
Dr Arkhipov, there is every reason to think other beings may have done so
too. As he delicately puts it: "Contaminated artefacts could be in the
interstellar medium".
With some back-of-the-envelope calculations, Dr Arkhipov estimates that the
typical result of alien ablutions would be the creation of a "cordon
non-sanitaire" around stars extending for several light-years. Any planetary
system passing by would run the risk of being showered with the stuff - and
thus being "fertilised" by whatever the alien dung contained.
Dr Arkhipov estimates that his explanation of the origin of life of Earth
still works if only one planet in every 20,000 indulges in unseemly hygiene
practices.


A good day to you!!

the fryer
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 03-08-2011, 06:46 PM
Didymus Much's Avatar
Didymus Much Didymus Much is offline
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
 

Hellbound Heathen Atheist Cancer on Society hippie Caution - Poster is Crazy Evilution Perv 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: chillin' in the onset of winter
Posts: 8,650
Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fryer Good Shepherd View Post
...Conditions on the early Earth were so awful that no one can figure out how
delicate chemicals like DNA needed for life managed to develop.
To get around this problem, some experts have suggested that perhaps life
came to Earth from outer space ready-made, in the form of bacteria or
viruses. The question then becomes: how did it get here?...
No, it doesn't. That "answer" (that life originated elsewhere and then made it's way to Earth) just replaces God of the Bible and the Creation myth with aliens (more gods) and another Creation myth.

Displacing the origins of life from Earth does not answer the question of the origins of life. The question really then becomes, "How did it start in the first place?" Your Russian (who I suspect is actually a theist) has no answer for this (and doesn't want one), and tries to deflect the discussion into another one about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.
__________________
1 Corinthians 1:27 "But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;" The Bible confounds me; does that mean...
“A universe simple enough to be understood is too simple to produce a mind capable of understanding it.” — John David Barrow, FRS
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 04-15-2012, 02:37 AM
martinezwesly's Avatar
martinezwesly martinezwesly is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Doing satan's bidding in godless europistan
Posts: 1
martinezwesly is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

What would Jesus do if he know your just dont enjoy because god dosent your going to burnwith satan and dirty arabs
__________________
A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 04-15-2012, 02:46 AM
Didymus Much's Avatar
Didymus Much Didymus Much is offline
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
 

Hellbound Heathen Atheist Cancer on Society hippie Caution - Poster is Crazy Evilution Perv 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: chillin' in the onset of winter
Posts: 8,650
Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Quote:
Originally Posted by SexyWhore View Post
What would Jesus do if he know your just dont enjoy because god dosent your going to burn with satan and dirty arabs
Would you care to put down the crack pipe and try that again? You're not making sense, dear.
__________________
1 Corinthians 1:27 "But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;" The Bible confounds me; does that mean...
“A universe simple enough to be understood is too simple to produce a mind capable of understanding it.” — John David Barrow, FRS
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 04-15-2012, 04:33 AM
Fleur-de-lis's Avatar
Fleur-de-lis Fleur-de-lis is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

Uppity Woman/Enabler Adulteress Cancer on Society Lezbo 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 161
Fleur-de-lis is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Fleur-de-lis is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Fleur-de-lis is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Fleur-de-lis is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Fleur-de-lis is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Fleur-de-lis is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Fleur-de-lis is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Fleur-de-lis is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

I'm sure that when he was alive, Ieshua felt the need to empty his bladder and colon on a regular basis just like any other man.
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 04-15-2012, 04:37 AM
Catherine Moore's Avatar
Catherine Moore Catherine Moore is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound 

Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 315
Catherine Moore is a True Christian™Catherine Moore is a True Christian™Catherine Moore is a True Christian™Catherine Moore is a True Christian™Catherine Moore is a True Christian™Catherine Moore is a True Christian™Catherine Moore is a True Christian™Catherine Moore is a True Christian™Catherine Moore is a True Christian™Catherine Moore is a True Christian™Catherine Moore is a True Christian™
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Ieshua?
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 04-15-2012, 04:48 AM
Didymus Much's Avatar
Didymus Much Didymus Much is offline
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
 

Hellbound Heathen Atheist Cancer on Society hippie Caution - Poster is Crazy Evilution Perv 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: chillin' in the onset of winter
Posts: 8,650
Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fleur-de-lis View Post
I'm sure that when he was alive, Ieshua felt the need to empty his bladder and colon on a regular basis just like any other man.
Have you ever got the point of ANYTHING in your futile little existence?

Why are you still here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore View Post
Ieshua?
She thinks it makes her sound clever to use some made-up "Aramaic" spelling, as if Aramaic uses a Roman alphabet.

If God wanted us to call Jesus "Ieshua", don't you think that's what the Bible would call Him?
__________________
1 Corinthians 1:27 "But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;" The Bible confounds me; does that mean...
“A universe simple enough to be understood is too simple to produce a mind capable of understanding it.” — John David Barrow, FRS
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 04-15-2012, 05:00 AM
Rev. M. Rodimer's Avatar
Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Gunfest '07 True Christian™ Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager Long service medal, 3rd class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Pastor of GOD Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Ex-Masturbator 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Public Awareness Medal True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Christian Love Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
Posts: 14,062
Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Have you ever got the point of ANYTHING in your futile little existence?

Why are you still here?
Why are you?

Wouldn't you rather flog your atheism in a more receptive locale?

You could join in Second Baptist's Atheist Mission to Saudi Arabia. Just think, you could spend two whole weeks telling Muslims that their "prophet" was a child-raping pedophile, just like the Pope! And that Allah is just a moon god that they decided to make the "one true god"! And all sorts of cool sciencey things!

Wouldn't that be great? I'm told the Arabs are really eager to learn all about atheism and how stupid Islam is.
__________________
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 04-15-2012, 06:02 PM
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
Posts: 25,018
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Friends, stay on topic.

God does not like anyone going to the toilet. It is a place full of disease and an enormous amount of 'accidental' sodomy.

Do anyone really think a thin sheet of cheap paper is going to protect them from Satan's chocolate?
__________________
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 04-15-2012, 09:08 PM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 77,000
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Friends, stay on topic.

God does not like anyone going to the toilet. It is a place full of disease and an enormous amount of 'accidental' sodomy.

Do anyone really think a thin sheet of cheap paper is going to protect them from Satan's chocolate?
Amen Brother! Double PLUS Amen! All True Christians know that if a boy touches himself, even in the shower, he is a homosexural. So just shut up about it and accept the fact that you are going to burn in HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY! "Fantasizing" about the "body parts" of female sluts is never an excuse! Since a boy is touching a male unmentionable member, that makes him HOMOSEXURAL! Including in the toilet!!
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 04-16-2012, 04:36 PM
Kitchen Keepin's Avatar
Kitchen Keepin Kitchen Keepin is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Cleanest Kitchen Real American™ Most Obedient Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus True Republican 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Versailles KY
Posts: 137
Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.Kitchen Keepin has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: I hate going to the toilet

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Amen Brother! Double PLUS Amen! All True Christians know that if a boy touches himself, even in the shower, he is a homosexural. So just shut up about it and accept the fact that you are going to burn in HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY! "Fantasizing" about the "body parts" of female sluts is never an excuse! Since a boy is touching a male unmentionable member, that makes him HOMOSEXURAL! Including in the toilet!!
Little boys should be taught to relieve themselves sitting down, carefully avoiding touching that thing between their legs.
__________________
Are you Washed in the Blood of the Lamb?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:45 PM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2014 all rights reserved