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Thumbs up Steven Harper finally bringing Canada home to USA - 04-27-2012, 05:59 PM

As you all know, during the American Revolution a part of God's Chosen Nation filled with disloyal traitors rebelled and stayed with the British Empire. Ever since then they have thumbed their noses at God's Plan for North America, governing their wasteland in a quasi-eurosocialist way (but not completely Eurosocialist, they're too polite/wimpy for that). The only part of Canada that bucked this trend was Alberta, and God has rewarded their faith by giving them oil. Thanks to their oil money the alberta government doesn't need to tax, giving Alberta a China-style advantage in the outsourcing race to the bottom.

Meanwhile God has rewarded Alberta, and the world, by making Albertan Steven Harper president of Canada.

The 3 things Steven Harper admires most about America is our prison system, our military procurement system, and our level of political discourse.

So he's building more prisons (the fact that the crime rate has been falling worldwide for decades doesn't mean it will stay that way), he's buying F-35, the most cost-effective weapon of all time, (perfectly optimized for 21st century threats like groups of 4 men with box cutters). And now, after promising there would be no abortion debate in Canada, he's going to he’ll allow Conservative MP Stephen Woodworth to put forward a motion in the House of Commons (their congress) which clearly opens the possibility of re-criminalizing abortion!

Now, of course we're not going to see any change in abortion law, not in Canada, and most likely not even in the USA. That's not the point. The point is to have a vitriolic debate. Canada is filled with sinners and they have to be kept under control. Divide and rule tactics are a good way to do this. And anyway, if you can't handle a debate where people call each other babykillers, you're too lukewarm to be participating in democracy.

If you can't handle the down and dirty gutter-style campaigning that American politics takes for granted, you're too wimpy to be voting, debating, and otherwise influencing government. A person who calls the abortion debate "divisive" is like one of those nanny-statists who think that boxers should wear gloves and follow all those regulations, instead of biting and gouging and scratching and bribing the referee and all the sort of thing that TRULY proves who the better boxer is.

Steven Harper's government has already said that anyone who opposes his right to torture whatever Afgans he wants is "siding with the Taliban". He's said that anyone who opposes his right to censor the internet "stands with pedophiles". This is a guy who understands how issues are debated in America.

Welcome back to the flock, Canada. I'll make sure that all those babykilling prisoners you're soon to have will be technically counted as voters when we are working out how to gerrymander your Congressional districting.


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Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 02-13-2014 at 03:15 PM.
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Default Re: Steven Harper finally bringing Canada home to USA - 04-27-2012, 06:19 PM

I never keep tabs on canada, heck, I didn't even know they had a gov't. I was certain they all sat in ice huts, drinking crap beer and listening to that band Rust (you know, the one with that crappy drummer and the vocalist who sounds like a cat being tortured by an army of rabid squirrels).

This President Harder sounds like a swell guy to me, very American indeed.

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So he's building more prisons (the fact that the crime rate has been falling worldwide for decades doesn't mean it will stay that way),
Logical. Negroes are still being born everyday.

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he's buying F-35, the most cost-effective weapon of all time,
I am sure they can also be used to help protect those poor baby seal hunters from the hippy eco-terrorists. My wife's prized possession is a baby seal coat, that fur is amazingly smooth. I'm looking to get her a matching purse!

Good for Canada for taking our lead, I guess their not that stupid after all.
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Default Re: Steven Harper finally bringing Canada home to USA - 04-28-2012, 01:51 AM

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Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
Negroes are still being born everyday.
Dear Friend,

Those that aren't aborted! In certain duskier neighborhoods, it's a close call whether Planned Parenthood or KFC puts more wasted breasts, thighs, and legs in the dumpsters at day end.

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Default Re: Steven Harper finally bringing Canada home to USA - 04-28-2012, 10:29 AM

They probably need the prisons for the French and the Parti Québécois.


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Default Re: Steven Harper finally bringing Canada home to USA - 04-28-2012, 01:32 PM

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Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
he's buying F-35, the most cost-effective weapon of all time, (perfectly optimized for 21st century threats like groups of 4 men with box cutters).

The f-35 is about as cost effective and situation-appropriate as the T-35 land battleship:



It's so complicated it an only fly half an hour a day at best*, unless it has some sort of time-warp technology, which it needs, seeing as the war it's designed to fight ended 20 years ago. It's the Maginot Line with wings.

*"The aircraft most like the F-35, the F-22, was able to get into the air on average for only 15 hours per month in 2010 when it was fully operational."

So I suggest Canada should forget the f-35 and instead rely on the Alaskan Airforce.

Haven't heard of the Alaskan Airforce? That's because it's a black ops operation. The planes are so stealthy they can't be sensed by any human senses, or measured by any instrument. Also, when they attack it looks just like a natural phenomenon. But there are real, and always in the skies, watching everything you do. Don't believe me? Well, you can't prove they don't exist. Just like Jesus.


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Default Re: Steven Harper finally bringing Canada home to USA - 04-28-2012, 02:39 PM

Fvck Canadia! Seriously, too little too late!

Oooh they've got themselves a Conservative government now. Amazing! I'm so impressed. Oh wait, abortion is still legal? The reefer is still legal? Homo marriage is still legal? Can't pass out Bibles in Canadian classrooms anymore?

America needs to bomb the snot out of that stupid country. Turn it into a slag heap. Oh wait it already is. But at least we should bomb their tree.

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Default Re: Steven Harper finally bringing Canada home to USA - 05-10-2012, 10:38 AM

ummmm Canada has had a conservative gov. for a long time now. if i am correct the first PRIME MINISTER was a conservative. and more prisons doesn't really mean a thing Manitoba has one of the oldest prisons in all of Canada. Canada is building more of them because of how old they actually are. and what are you go bomb them with? nukes? then you are just going to level more than half of your country off as well. and can you even find it on a map? from the sound of it at this point i don't think you can. and Weed isn't legal. and gay marriage is actually legal either, it is more tolerated. and if you can recall the battle/ war of 1812-1814. that didn't end well for you. Canadaians wound up burning Goerge Washingtons house down. And Canadian Beer has more alchohol content than American. and Saskatchewan has more oil than Alberta and pretty much goes the same for Manitoba. and no Canadians live in houses. and how is Canada stupid?
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Default Re: Steven Harper finally bringing Canada home to USA - 05-10-2012, 05:48 PM

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Originally Posted by thesleeper View Post
...how is Canada stupid?
Look in a mirror.


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Default Re: Steven Harper finally bringing Canada home to USA - 05-10-2012, 08:41 PM

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Originally Posted by thesleeper View Post
ummmm Canada has had a conservative gov. for a long time now. if i am correct the first PRIME MINISTER was a conservative.
I mean we're finally seeing Canadians behaving as True Conservatives, rather than simply using the name.

So you believe that titles of political parties mean more than what the political parties actually do? I guess you also believe that North Korea is a people's republic?

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and more prisons doesn't really mean a thing Manitoba has one of the oldest prisons in all of Canada.
What does this "Manitoba" have to do with anything?

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Canada is building more of them because of how old they actually are.
So it's a keep-up-with-the-joneses fashion thing?

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and what are you go bomb them with?
We could use harsh words, if we wanted to. Your average American gun show has more firepower than the entirety of Canada does.

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nukes?
That would be a waste. Why shoot a million dollar missile only to see it sticking out of a moose's butt?

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then you are just going to level more than half of your country off as well.
Because of all your geezers in Floridia?

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and gay marriage is actually legal either, it is more tolerated.
Um what?

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and if you can recall the battle/ war of 1812-1814.
Seeing as your canucks don't have enough military prowess to tell a battle from a war, your threats don't frighten me.

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Canadaians wound up burning Goerge Washingtons house down. And Canadian Beer has more alchohol content than American. and Saskatchewan has more oil than Alberta and pretty much goes the same for Manitoba. and no Canadians live in houses. and how is Canada stupid?
Maybe a better question would be "How is Canada SO stupid?"


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