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  #1  
Old 04-24-2012, 08:05 AM
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Default Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

If you haven't shown your children God's Beaver yet then you really should.

The Creation Evidence Museum has some wonderful online resources for home schooling.

HERE is the great lesson on God's Beaver.

As it rightly points out, the beaver could just not happen through the 'theory' of evolution.

Dr. Baugh: “Some people say that beavers evolved all of those features one by one, but each one is necessary for the beaver to be so successful at living in its watery environment, it could not survive as it does if it was not born with the perfect combination already fully usable. You can learn a lesson from the beaver: Use what God gave you to succeed in life and when you learn how complex your own features are, remember you were created as a unique creature by a very smart and loving Creator!”

Please, show your children God's Beaver,

GLORY!

Jack
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  #2  
Old 04-24-2012, 08:30 AM
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

I'm never to sure about beavers.

Aren't they fish? They smell of fish. I'm sure they are fish.

YIC
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Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Old 04-24-2012, 08:36 AM
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Apparently even the pope says that they can be eaten on Fridays. I don't eat a lot of beaver myself (I don't like the taste unless it has been thoroughly washed). I don't suppose you do either Brother Laurence? With your wife leaving you and everything?

YIC
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Old 04-24-2012, 08:45 AM
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Quote:
With your wife leaving you and everything?
Well she'll be laughing on the other side of her face soon enough: my new char lady is working out a treat and the house is spotless and the dinner is in the oven when I get home

YIC
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Old 04-24-2012, 08:49 AM
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Excellent - I'm sure she'll be sorting you out some good beaver soon.

Is she a good cook?

YIC
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  #6  
Old 04-24-2012, 10:00 AM
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

She says she has a great rump roast.

Can't wait

YIC
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  #7  
Old 04-24-2012, 10:53 PM
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

While I agree that God's Creation is perfect in every way, I've always been confused about one thing: Toenails.

All mine ever do is cut my good socks if I don't trim them really short. What are they for?
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Old 04-25-2012, 01:55 AM
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan View Post
If you haven't shown your children God's Beaver yet then you really should.

The Creation Evidence Museum has some wonderful online resources for home schooling.

HERE is the great lesson on God's Beaver.

As it rightly points out, the beaver could just not happen through the 'theory' of evolution.

Dr. Baugh: “Some people say that beavers evolved all of those features one by one, but each one is necessary for the beaver to be so successful at living in its watery environment, it could not survive as it does if it was not born with the perfect combination already fully usable. You can learn a lesson from the beaver: Use what God gave you to succeed in life and when you learn how complex your own features are, remember you were created as a unique creature by a very smart and loving Creator!”

Please, show your children God's Beaver,

GLORY!

Jack
Glory indeed Brother!

A beaver could never evolve all at once, and I'll tell you from experience that if you cut of their tails or knock out their teeth, they die in a matter of days. Scientists are idiots for suggesting that beavers without big flat tails or huge teeth could have survived in the past!

On a related note, muskrats meet the same fate as beavers if you bash them in the face with a shovel, knocking their teeth out. They can live longer without their tails though. Maybe that's because God gave them smaller ones.

So, after your children are well versed in the glory of our furry little friend the beaver, introduce them to God's other perfectly created, but dissimliar little pal, the muskrat!




The wily and intelligently designed muskrat. Take THAT evolutionists!



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Old 04-26-2012, 01:12 AM
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

I make sure to let my own children know about not just the one beaver, but that ALL beavers are God's beavers. At least, so long as those beavers are doing the Lord's work. Of course, sometimes my kids ask how God's beavers stand being so hot and hairy in the summertime if they never get shaved, and I just tell them it's because they get so soaking wet. Kids ask the funniest questions sometimes!
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Old 04-26-2012, 08:38 AM
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Henry Poppendorfer View Post
Kids ask the funniest questions sometimes!
That's very true Henry, my oldest son wants to know why beavers smell of fish? He says they aren't fish, they don't ingest fish and seem to fill themselves with wood. So why the smell? I suggested he bring it up at Sunday School.

YIC
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Old 04-26-2012, 08:55 AM
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
While I agree that God's Creation is perfect in every way, I've always been confused about one thing: Toenails.

All mine ever do is cut my good socks if I don't trim them really short. What are they for?
You are right about the Designer making things perfectly.

Toes nails are for support as we put downforce on our toes as we walk or run. Imagine the mess we would make if the top of our skin on our toes was compressed by our distal phalanx!

Yuck!

The Designer gets it right again: there is purpose in everything.

ThinksDesign.
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Old 04-26-2012, 04:41 PM
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThinksDesign View Post
You are right about the Designer making things perfectly.

Toes nails are for support as we put downforce on our toes as we walk or run. Imagine the mess we would make if the top of our skin on our toes was compressed by our distal phalanx!
That makes no sense. People walk just fine when they've lost their toenails due to fungal infections or injury.

Maybe God just wants to keep women busy darning our socks!
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Old 05-06-2012, 11:26 AM
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noah Sole View Post
That's very true Henry, my oldest son wants to know why beavers smell of fish? He says they aren't fish, they don't ingest fish and seem to fill themselves with wood. So why the smell? I suggested he bring it up at Sunday School.

YIC
Hmmm, I think I see the problem: Beavers get wet with the water fish have been swimming in, thus when they get all wet and soaked, they stink of fish. Of course, it doesn't hurt them any, all they're looking for is a nice stiff log, and I'm sure the wood doesn't mind.
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Old 05-06-2012, 02:20 PM
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Henry Poppendorfer View Post
Hmmm, I think I see the problem: Beavers get wet with the water fish have been swimming in, thus when they get all wet and soaked, they stink of fish. Of course, it doesn't hurt them any, all they're looking for is a nice stiff log, and I'm sure the wood doesn't mind.
My wife was looking over my shoulder as I read that. She shouted 'Thanks' and has now gone for a shower. What was that all about? Funny things women...
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  #15  
Old 05-07-2012, 03:47 AM
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Beavers stink to high Heaven and they taste nasty (so I've heard) so I want nothing to do with them.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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  #16  
Old 05-15-2012, 11:30 PM
stanismyhero stanismyhero is offline
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

So gods a female and a pedophile?!
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  #17  
Old 05-16-2012, 12:09 AM
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Capt. Aaron Portway Capt. Aaron Portway is offline
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by stanismyhero View Post
So gods a female and a pedophile?!
No.

and . . .

No.
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  #18  
Old 05-16-2012, 12:15 AM
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Angry Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by stanismyhero View Post
So gods a female and a pedophile?!
Friend, there is only one God. You may worship a female and you may also worship a pedophile. But not us.
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Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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  #19  
Old 05-16-2012, 02:55 AM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by stanismyhero View Post
So gods a female and a pedophile?!
Who is this "stan" that you worship? Your queer boyfriend maybe?

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #20  
Old 05-16-2012, 02:41 PM
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Alphonse Alban Alphonse Alban is offline
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Default Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Who is this "stan" that you worship? Your queer boyfriend maybe?
I don't think he is worshiping stan. Stanismy is an old commie name, no idea about the hero though. Maybe it translates to some working class hero or other marxist crap.
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