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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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  #1  
Old 07-22-2012, 07:06 PM
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Jedediah Jedediah is offline
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Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Thumbs up True Christians™: Share your testimony with the unsaved!

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

The LORD brings us a constant stream of unsaved trash, that we may edify them and help them to grow strong in Him. Oftentimes, however, I feel that our righteousness and radiant glory are simply too much for the unsaved to comprehend all at once, and they may log off feeling dispirited and unworthy, incapable of ever reaching our level of perfection.

I think we need to remind the unsaved that we were once as wretched as they are now, wallowing in sin, depredation, and total depravity.

Psalm 51:5
Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Romans 3:23
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;


For the purpose of exhorting the unsaved trash who visit our forum to turn over a new life and accept Jesus' kind offer of Redemption, it would be helpful to share with them our own personal testimonies of how we came to walk with Christ.

I'll start.
__________________
II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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  #2  
Old 07-22-2012, 07:08 PM
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Jedediah Jedediah is offline
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Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: True Christians™: Share your testimony with the unsaved!

My Testimony
-Jed Oglethorpe

I was an effeminate young man who left a broken home at 18 to "find myself" on the midwest truck stop circuit. Quickly gaining notoriety as the I-35 "power bottom" with the hungriest butt, I began turning tricks and appearing in low-budget gay porn films under the screen name "Stretch." My chosen career path required me to inject muscle relaxants and anesthetics directly into my sphincter so that I could accommodate the sizeable objects being inserted into my rectum on a daily basis.

Then one day there was a loud 'POP' and I lost consciousness. I awoke alone in the bathroom of the trailer in a pool of blood, feces and yellow bile, unable to get back on my feet. I had blown out my O-ring. I had hit rock bottom. It was then that I looked up, and the LORD made His face to shine upon me.



The stain on the wall next to the toilet was surely a sign from the LORD of hosts. On October 16, 1998, at 2:34 in the afternoon, I gave my life over to Jesus and accepted Him as my personal LORD and Savior, and I have never looked back. I called up the first Independent Baptist Church I found in the phonebook, and one of the younger Pastors from Landover came to pick me up and get me enrolled in their Ex-Gay treatment program. Today, I am a happily married True Christian™ with a wife and five sons, walking upright in righteousness and perfection.

When I join Jesus in Heaven, my new glorified body will be restored (Isaiah 35:3-5). However, I will have to wear diapers as long as I still live in this earthly body because the decisions I made before entering into a personal relationship with Christ resulted in a prolapsed rectum. As a newly minted Ex-Gay©, I would often yearn for a ham-sized, hairy-knuckled fist buried arm-deep into my rectum. Then I would reflect on the following verse of Scripture.

II Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.


These days, I realize that the most febrile and frenzied anal pounding pales in comparison to the fulfillment I get from Jesus. I pray that all homofags will come to realize what I have: The satisfaction afforded by having your anus filled with strange men's semen is nothing compared to the sense of peace and joy afforded by having your heart filled with Christ's love.
__________________
II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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  #3  
Old 07-29-2012, 06:42 AM
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Integra-T Integra-T is offline
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Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Integra-T is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: True Christians™: Share your testimony with the unsaved!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedediah View Post
share with them our own personal testimonies of how we came to walk with Christ.
This is a great idea.! I love sharing my witness and giving others hope! Testimony is a powerful thing and we overcome darkness by the blood of the lamb and by our testimony.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Revelation 12:11
They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.(
When I was in junior high yeah I went to church. I knew who He was, and I knew that I was supposed to talk to Him and keep His laws, but beyond that and the basic Bible stories God was the guy at church. Yeah I prayed with my parents at dinner and when my mama tucked me in at night. BUt there was also lust in my heart and I was always trying to make out with girsl. Thats pretty much what life was like for me. Passing notes in class to different girls. Going to movies with them. And trying to make out. One time I even tried to get some leg. At least I didunt try to go up any ones shirt. I thought I was so cool but I was wrong.

Then I got to high scool and everything changed. I went out for baseball and joined the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I met some of my best bros in FCA to this day. It almost makes me wish I was still in high scool just so I could get up early and pray by the flagpole before scool with my bros. But all the good times didunt come until after what I'm about to tell u about. Wear to start.

So I was in 9th grade and though I was the make out master. My bro Jon who was'nt a Christian then but is now had a party while his parents where out of town and invited some girls. All we thaught about all day was getting some tongue, getting some leg, and going up girls shirts. We where totally out of control.

So we all went to Jon's house that night after the game and the girls came over. We put on a movie and turned out the lights each guy with a girl. Noone watched the movie tough cuz we where all too busy making out. I was just about to go up Jessicas shirt when I heard a voice. "No," said Jesus. "You must save ur self for marriage like it says in the Bible. What u are doing is thornication." And I got up and turned on the lights and said STOP. IT IS NOT WORTH GOING TO HELL FOR.! Just in time too cuz Justin was about to touch boob. I spent the rest of the night ministering to my friends and we all agreed we didunt want to do what we were doing it was just that we thought we were supposed to. Its like Jesus said we are supposed to be separate from those who spend there whole lifes sinning. How can we help them to know Him if we cant even stop our selfs from thornicating.?

Quote:
Originally Posted by James 4:4
You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
We didunt talk to each other until the next week at scool but I went to services with my parents the next day even though they said it was alright that I miss church. During the service I got up and asked if I could say a few words. In tears I confessed my sins to the whole congregation. I told them that I was putting it behind me though and that I was now going to live my life for Christ. I was crying and everyone was clapping and the preacher gave me a big hug. I began to live for God and seek His way of doing things.

I talked to my bros the next day at scool and they said they felt the same way about turning away from sin and living our lifes for Christ. We had already been jamming out in my parents garage playing some 3DD and Nickleback and we were starting to get good even without a drumber. My youth pastor had told me after services about a Christian rock concert he was going to go to a few weeks later and we all decided to tag along with him.

Three weeks later we all piled into the church van and drove to Kentucky for the Icthus Festival. I didunt know squat about Christian rock. I just thought that Amy Grant might be there (<3). Words cant express the transformational experience we all had. I knew it was the Lords guiding hand that brought me there when I heard this one band called Casting Crowns. Hears some of there new stuff.



I've been living my life for the Lord ever since then. I've continued going to Icthus every year since then and in my junior year I met the coolest girl I have ever known. She's the same age as I am plays guitar and is into all the same music I am. We wrote a lot over the last couple of years and we're going to be going to the same college starting this fall.

Me and my bros organize campouts wear we play praise and worship music until like 2AM in the morning! Its so deep and fullfilling and I'm pretty sure we've helped a few people in our school come to know Christ. This one time we were at a state park for an over nighter and some guys brought some hard lemoneade and didunt pay any attention to the praise and worship going on all arount them. So I got in one guys face and said "Sup, bro. That's not what Jesus would do." Then I told everyone who was serious about praise and worship to come with me and thats the night my band really go serious. Hopefully Jesus will give us a record deal soon.

So yeah. Thats my testimony pretty much. I just wake up every morning thinking about what I can do to bring glory to Jesus, and I'm pretty sure he wants me and my girl and my bros to write some praise and worship music for Him. I still don't know what I want to do with my life LOL, but I will continue to glorify Him in all that I do. As long as I get a chance to glorify Him and to know Him, thats awesome.
He has called me into music and I know I'm supposed to reach other kids that are hurting and need love so badly. Prayer and faith can do so much with God, and each increases the other!


The moral of the story is there is NOTHING that God can't help you handle. Life isn't easy, but he can always handle things if you'll let him.
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Luke 22:20
In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.
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  #4  
Old 07-29-2012, 07:43 AM
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Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
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Faint Not If You Are Rebuked By Him.
 

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Default Re: True Christians™: Share your testimony with the unsaved!

My testimony doesn't make for very good sharing. I was always better than just about everyone else. I always knew God had chosen me to be one of His elect.

I am a blood bought sin free predestined preordained servant of Christ and I have been since I was little.

I guess I have been blessed.
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Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

Contact me for private counseling. levijoneslbc@gmail.com
See Landover's new ministry at:
http://apologeticsministries.com


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  #5  
Old 07-29-2012, 08:43 PM
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: True Christians™: Share your testimony with the unsaved!

I am far too modest to blow my own horn. The rough details of my testimony can be seen HERE, on my Church bio.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Old 07-31-2012, 12:28 PM
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James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
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Default Re: True Christians™: Share your testimony with the unsaved!

I was a typical teenager, growing up in the suburbs of NYC to a affluent disconnected family. I sought out attention and love from who ever and what ever I could find. A Homersexual school principal. An elderly aunt. The family pet. I picked up the bad habits of a sinner, drinking beer and swearing. After a while, I started to smoke the pot, seeking relief with the Devil's weed. I started to spend time with the nigras, going to seedy Jazz clubs. I discovered 'The Anvil' in NYC. There I spent weeks being repeated violated by strange men, most of whose faces I never saw. I moved on from the pot and was consuming LSD and cocaine to alter the horrors of my life. Waking in an alley one morning on the lower west side, I was cold and hungry. A Church was having a free breakfast. I scurried toward the place, looking for a meal and a possible hook up. I was denied entrance due my foul smell of man juice and feces. That strengthened my resolve to 'show them'. I studied the Bible and found Jesus. We worked out a deal. I went home, got cleaned up and went off to college, earning two masters degrees. I got married to a wife who was very fertile. I was working on the floor of AMEX, bringing in on seven figures. A short scant 8 years time had elapsed since that catlick Church denied me access to a hot meal. I bought the church and had it razed. I had a Baptist Church built in its' place. I decided to dedicate myself to the Word of God. All men were to be treated as God would treat them. Never again would a person be denied his rightful place reaping the bounty God intended for him to have.
I was born a Christian and did not know it. Only after Jesus showed me how despicable other people really are did I come to appreciate His Love for me. God tested me, Satan tempted me.
__________________
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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  #7  
Old 07-31-2012, 12:38 PM
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Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
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Default Re: True Christians™: Share your testimony with the unsaved!

I was a dirty sinning brat when I was an annoying youngster. But my father beat the fear of God into me with his rod until I became the example for our youth I am today.

Proverbs 23:13-14 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
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To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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  #8  
Old 07-31-2012, 03:23 PM
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Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
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One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Posts: 18,566
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: True Christians™: Share your testimony with the unsaved!

As my church bio says I was Mary Worshiping son of a UNION member in a working class family in Pittsburgh. I even was a registered Democrat, talk about spitting in Christ's eye while He hung on the cross. PRAISE Jesus He lead me out of my depravity and into the light!
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Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


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