General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
08-31-2014, 02:37 PM
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
08-31-2014, 03:12 PM
May you have a wonderful, beautiful, Jesus-filled birthday, Brother Pim!
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
08-31-2014, 04:49 PM
Happiest of Birthdays, Brother! I sent your favorite pie via FedEx. Enjoy!
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
08-31-2014, 05:05 PM
Dearest Brother in Christ,
I know you cannot wait to die and enter the Heavenly Bliss in Jesus but there are still many sinners in desperate need of your teachings and prayers. But, perhaps by your next birthday we will have seen from above the following beautiful scene take place: RAPTURE, us True Christians™ in Heaven and chaos on Earth, planes crashing as the chosen ones vanish.
Perhaps we'll sip some nice and cool Chardonnay with Jesus by your next anniversary.
Happy, blessed birthday to you!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
08-31-2014, 05:49 PM
Have a most Blessed Birthday, Brother in Christ!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 12:38 AM
Blessed Birthday Wishes to you, such a fine, upstanding example of True Christian™ Manhood!
X O X O X O
I have been experimenting with new ways to decorate with marzipan (hope you're not allergic to nuts!) and I made this "Rooted in Christ" cake for you : )
Let me know how it turned out!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 01:07 AM
Happy birthday, Brother, and congratulations on closing another year in the gap between yourself and the Lord.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 01:16 AM
My most beloved Brother Pim,
Have a great birthday, and I hope that you enjoy this modest (comparing to Mistress Cookie's magnificent creation) birthday cake I baked especially for you:
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 01:24 AM
There's no way you can eat all these cakes yourself, Brother Pim!
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 285
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Islamic Caliphate of Germany
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 01:39 AM
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: (Philippians 1:6)
Happy birthday Brother Pim, let's continue in Word!
Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division - Luke 12:51
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 02:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS
There's no way you can eat all these cakes yourself, Brother Pim!
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Oh Sister Victory, I know that sweet tooth of yours
You know, I had to make two attempts at that cake to get it right, so I have a huge bowl of cake trimings and frosting and broken candy "branches", etc., all mixed together.
Do you want me to just leave it on the back steps?
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 02:24 AM
Sister Cookie, you must think of me as a sweet little mouse in the kitchen! I only meant it was a lot of cake all at once. But if you need someone to help make use of the leftovers and trim, I can probably assist you.
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 02:43 AM
It would be a great help to me. My tiny Ginger Belle gets sick if I give her too much of that stuff, and she's sure to get into it when I'm out, no matter what.
Thanx
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 03:24 AM
Why Sister Cookie, it would be my pleasure to help you. You have always been very kind and generous to me, much more so than some others who will remain unnamed as I'm not one to stir up drama and resentment.
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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PHD - Theophysicist Saving The Lost With The Truth Of Applied Theoscience
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,087
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In the Lamb's book of life
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 04:58 AM
Thank you, brothers and sisters! I take great comfort in the fact that I'm another year closer to glory. I also take great comfort in the fact that I'm still alive. God obviously still has a plan for my life. There are still billions of sinners out there who need rebuking.
| Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies |
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 05:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS
Why Sister Cookie, it would be my pleasure to help you. You have always been very kind and generous to me, much more so than some others who will remain unnamed as I'm not one to stir up drama and resentment.
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Now you know everyone here loves you just as much as I do. It's just that some of them can't always entertain drop-in visitors (maybe especially at mealtimes, when husbands and children need the most attention), and I know you have trouble with that new mobile phone to let people know about your plans.
But you're always welcome at my house, and Vavoline can entertain you till I get home if I'm helping out at the church offices. Just don't let her make you keep her from the dusting, etc. She can be tricky that way.
You are a precious, True Christian™ flower and I am proud to water you, and call you my friend.
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 01:57 PM
Praise God on your birthday.
But you must feel pretty bad that Jesus hasn't taken you home yet, though. Oh well, maybe next year.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-01-2014, 05:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie
Oh Sister Victory, I know that sweet tooth of yours
You know, I had to make two attempts at that cake to get it right, so I have a huge bowl of cake trimings and frosting and broken candy "branches", etc., all mixed together.
Do you want me to just leave it on the back steps?
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Careful dear. You wouldn't want to attract stray cats or other vermin, I'm sure.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-02-2014, 05:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie
Oh Sister Victory, I know that sweet tooth of yours...I have a huge bowl of cake trimings and frosting and broken candy "branches", etc., all mixed together. Do you want me to just leave it on the back steps?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Careful dear. You wouldn't want to attract stray cats or other vermin, I'm sure.
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Now Mary, remember what we talked about...
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Pendergast! -
09-02-2014, 09:48 AM
Brother Pim, I spent years despising the name Pim, thanks to that sodomite, Pim Fortune. Your grace and quiet godliness, however, have restored my ability to hear or think about the name "Pim" without becoming ill.
I hope your birthday was a special one!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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