Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)
Reload this Page Jesus plays in a rock band
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Peter's Avatar
Peter Peter is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 279
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: RUT battlefield
Peter is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 11:59 AM

Jesus plays in a rock band! It's proven.

Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Miss Hikari's Avatar
Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
Miss Hikari is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 02:16 PM

That's awesome. Did you Photoshop that?
I can imagine it now:
"Everyone, give it up for Jesus and the Disciples!!!!!!"
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 02:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
That's awesome. Did you Photoshop that?
I can't for the life of me say why, but I can't get rid of this subtle, sneaking suspicion that he just stole it from somethingawful.com


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Old Iron Crotch's Avatar
Old Iron Crotch Old Iron Crotch is offline
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 02:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
That's awesome. Did you Photoshop that?
I can imagine it now:
"Everyone, give it up for Jesus and the Disciples!!!!!!"

As they launch into the opening chords of "Smoke on the Water" and Jesus throws himself into the air, off the stage, and crowd-surfs...
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Miss Hikari's Avatar
Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
Miss Hikari is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 02:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
I can't for the life of me say why, but I can't get rid of this subtle, sneaking suspicion that he just stole it from somethingawful.com
It's 6 in the morning. It's dark, and I don't have the light on. I've been up since 5 pm yesterday studying for finals. Cut me some slack, I didn't see it.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 04:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
It's 6 in the morning. It's dark, and I don't have the light on. I've been up since 5 pm yesterday studying for finals. Cut me some slack, I didn't see it.
Well, it's good to see that you recognise that keeping up with God's Favourite Forum takes precendence over any secular exams. You read many chapters of the Bible today?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Miss Hikari's Avatar
Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
Miss Hikari is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 08:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Well, it's good to see that you recognise that keeping up with God's Favourite Forum takes precendence over any secular exams. You read many chapters of the Bible today?
Nope. I went to finals, and aced them. I was just in a hurry, and left my computer on.

Only 1 more final to go, and my 3rd year of high school is over!!!!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Old Iron Crotch's Avatar
Old Iron Crotch Old Iron Crotch is offline
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 08:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
Nope. I went to finals, and aced them. I was just in a hurry, and left my computer on.

Only 1 more final to go, and my 3rd year of high school is over!!!!

Knock 'em dead, Hi!
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Miss Hikari's Avatar
Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
Miss Hikari is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 09:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Knock 'em dead, Hi!
Hopefully, I will... Next Final is a my Calculus Final, ugh.... Math is NOT my strong point....
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Old Iron Crotch's Avatar
Old Iron Crotch Old Iron Crotch is offline
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 09:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
Hopefully, I will... Next Final is a my Calculus Final, ugh.... Math is NOT my strong point....

I'll light a candle for you and burn some lavender with a wish for your nerves to be calm during your exam.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Miss Hikari's Avatar
Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
Miss Hikari is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 09:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
I'll light a candle for you and burn some lavender with a wish for your nerves to be calm during your exam.
Thanks for the thought. Hopefully it'll work.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 11:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
I'll light a candle for you and burn some lavender with a wish for your nerves to be calm during your exam.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
Thanks for the thought. Hopefully it'll work.
Okay girls, while this IS a thread on homersexurality, that was not intended as an open invitation for you to post lezbeanic love letters to each other. You are grossing Jesus out.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Miss Hikari's Avatar
Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
Miss Hikari is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-12-2007, 11:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Okay girls, while this IS a thread on homersexurality, that was not intended as an open invitation for you to post lezbeanic love letters to each other. You are grossing Jesus out.
WTF? All she was doing was wishing me luck on my Calculus Final. Get a grip.
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-13-2007, 11:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Knock 'em dead, Hi!
Friend, Hitoshess or whatever she's called has to battle with the temptation to give in to her natural Korean instincts and massacre her classmates every day, she doesn't need you making it more difficult for her.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Old Iron Crotch's Avatar
Old Iron Crotch Old Iron Crotch is offline
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-13-2007, 12:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Okay girls, while this IS a thread on homersexurality, that was not intended as an open invitation for you to post lezbeanic love letters to each other. You are grossing Jesus out.

YOU are the only one who sees sexual innuendo in wishing someone good luck on a mathematics exam. Do you EVER take your mind out of other people's pants?
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Old Iron Crotch's Avatar
Old Iron Crotch Old Iron Crotch is offline
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-13-2007, 12:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Friend, Hitoshess or whatever she's called has to battle with the temptation to give in to her natural Korean instincts and massacre her classmates every day, she doesn't need you making it more difficult for her.

Jusat because you take everything you read literally doesn't mean that everyone else does. Hi knows that it's a figure of speech that simply means I wish her to make an A on her exam by answering all the questions correctly.
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-13-2007, 05:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
YOU are the only one who sees sexual innuendo in wishing someone good luck on a mathematics exam. Do you EVER take your mind out of other people's pants?
I must insist you stop hitting on my Honeypie. It's very unlady like. Try to refrain from being such a wanton hussy.

Maybe if you had JESUS, you wouldn't feel the need to keep macking on the men here on GOD'S Favorite Forum.

Annoyed, Sister Thumper




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here

Last edited by Daisy Mae Johnson; 06-13-2007 at 05:01 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Old Iron Crotch's Avatar
Old Iron Crotch Old Iron Crotch is offline
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-13-2007, 05:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
I must insist you stop hitting on my Honeypie. It's very unlady like. Try to refrain from being such a wanton hussy.

Maybe if you had JESUS, you wouldn't feel the need to keep macking on the men here on GOD'S Favorite Forum.

Annoyed, Sister Thumper

Trust me, I have no romantic interest in Zeke or any other LBC man. HE is the one who seems to think that every time one woman says anything even remotely friendly to another, it's a lesbian come-on, and rushes over to watch.
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Miss Hikari's Avatar
Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
Miss Hikari is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-14-2007, 01:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Friend, Hitoshess or whatever she's called has to battle with the temptation to give in to her natural Korean instincts and massacre her classmates every day, she doesn't need you making it more difficult for her.
I'm not Korean! If you're gonna make fun of me, at least get my ethnicity right! Japanese. Repeat after me, 1/8 Japanese. Ok? And I am not way related to that VT tech guys.
But Hitoshess is a funny name. That made me giggle.
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Virginia Day Templeton's Avatar
Virginia Day Templeton Virginia Day Templeton is offline
Christ's Battle Axe
 

True Christian™ True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ True Christian Beauty Bronze Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Christian Love Flat Earth Most Obedient Pro-Life Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Mama Grizzly Trumpette Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Roper Crossburn Real American™ TC Bravery Teabag Patriot True Republican Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Jesus plays in a rock band - 06-14-2007, 01:09 AM

Quote:
Friend, Hitoshess or whatever she's called has to battle with the temptation to give in to her natural Japanese instincts and sodomize her classmates with her tentacles every day, she doesn't need you making it more difficult for her.
Better?


Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved