Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 279
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: RUT battlefield
|
|
Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 11:59 AM
Jesus plays in a rock band! It's proven.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 02:16 PM
That's awesome. Did you Photoshop that?
I can imagine it now:
"Everyone, give it up for Jesus and the Disciples!!!!!!"
|
|
Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 02:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
That's awesome. Did you Photoshop that?
|
I can't for the life of me say why, but I can't get rid of this subtle, sneaking suspicion that he just stole it from somethingawful.com
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
|
|
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 02:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
That's awesome. Did you Photoshop that?
I can imagine it now:
"Everyone, give it up for Jesus and the Disciples!!!!!!"
|
As they launch into the opening chords of "Smoke on the Water" and Jesus throws himself into the air, off the stage, and crowd-surfs...
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 02:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
I can't for the life of me say why, but I can't get rid of this subtle, sneaking suspicion that he just stole it from somethingawful.com
|
It's 6 in the morning. It's dark, and I don't have the light on. I've been up since 5 pm yesterday studying for finals. Cut me some slack, I didn't see it.
|
|
Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 04:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
It's 6 in the morning. It's dark, and I don't have the light on. I've been up since 5 pm yesterday studying for finals. Cut me some slack, I didn't see it.
|
Well, it's good to see that you recognise that keeping up with God's Favourite Forum takes precendence over any secular exams. You read many chapters of the Bible today?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 08:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Well, it's good to see that you recognise that keeping up with God's Favourite Forum takes precendence over any secular exams. You read many chapters of the Bible today?
|
Nope. I went to finals, and aced them. I was just in a hurry, and left my computer on.
Only 1 more final to go, and my 3rd year of high school is over!!!!
|
|
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 08:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
Nope. I went to finals, and aced them. I was just in a hurry, and left my computer on.
Only 1 more final to go, and my 3rd year of high school is over!!!!
|
Knock 'em dead, Hi!
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 09:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
|
Hopefully, I will... Next Final is a my Calculus Final, ugh.... Math is NOT my strong point....
|
|
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 09:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
Hopefully, I will... Next Final is a my Calculus Final, ugh.... Math is NOT my strong point....
|
I'll light a candle for you and burn some lavender with a wish for your nerves to be calm during your exam.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 09:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
I'll light a candle for you and burn some lavender with a wish for your nerves to be calm during your exam.
|
Thanks for the thought. Hopefully it'll work.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 11:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
I'll light a candle for you and burn some lavender with a wish for your nerves to be calm during your exam.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
Thanks for the thought. Hopefully it'll work.
|
Okay girls, while this IS a thread on homersexurality, that was not intended as an open invitation for you to post lezbeanic love letters to each other. You are grossing Jesus out.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-12-2007, 11:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Okay girls, while this IS a thread on homersexurality, that was not intended as an open invitation for you to post lezbeanic love letters to each other. You are grossing Jesus out.
|
WTF? All she was doing was wishing me luck on my Calculus Final. Get a grip.
|
|
Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-13-2007, 11:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
Knock 'em dead, Hi!
|
Friend, Hitoshess or whatever she's called has to battle with the temptation to give in to her natural Korean instincts and massacre her classmates every day, she doesn't need you making it more difficult for her.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
|
|
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-13-2007, 12:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Okay girls, while this IS a thread on homersexurality, that was not intended as an open invitation for you to post lezbeanic love letters to each other. You are grossing Jesus out.
|
YOU are the only one who sees sexual innuendo in wishing someone good luck on a mathematics exam. Do you EVER take your mind out of other people's pants?
|
|
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-13-2007, 12:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Friend, Hitoshess or whatever she's called has to battle with the temptation to give in to her natural Korean instincts and massacre her classmates every day, she doesn't need you making it more difficult for her.
|
Jusat because you take everything you read literally doesn't mean that everyone else does. Hi knows that it's a figure of speech that simply means I wish her to make an A on her exam by answering all the questions correctly.
|
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-13-2007, 05:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
YOU are the only one who sees sexual innuendo in wishing someone good luck on a mathematics exam. Do you EVER take your mind out of other people's pants?
|
I must insist you stop hitting on my Honeypie. It's very unlady like. Try to refrain from being such a wanton hussy.
Maybe if you had JESUS, you wouldn't feel the need to keep macking on the men here on GOD'S Favorite Forum.
Annoyed, Sister Thumper
Last edited by Daisy Mae Johnson; 06-13-2007 at 05:01 PM.
|
|
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-13-2007, 05:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
I must insist you stop hitting on my Honeypie. It's very unlady like. Try to refrain from being such a wanton hussy.
Maybe if you had JESUS, you wouldn't feel the need to keep macking on the men here on GOD'S Favorite Forum.
Annoyed, Sister Thumper
|
Trust me, I have no romantic interest in Zeke or any other LBC man. HE is the one who seems to think that every time one woman says anything even remotely friendly to another, it's a lesbian come-on, and rushes over to watch.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-14-2007, 01:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Friend, Hitoshess or whatever she's called has to battle with the temptation to give in to her natural Korean instincts and massacre her classmates every day, she doesn't need you making it more difficult for her.
|
I'm not Korean! If you're gonna make fun of me, at least get my ethnicity right! Japanese. Repeat after me, 1/8 Japanese. Ok? And I am not way related to that VT tech guys.
But Hitoshess is a funny name. That made me giggle.
|
|
Christ's Battle Axe
|
|
Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
|
|
Re: Jesus plays in a rock band -
06-14-2007, 01:09 AM
Quote:
Friend, Hitoshess or whatever she's called has to battle with the temptation to give in to her natural Japanese instincts and sodomize her classmates with her tentacles every day, she doesn't need you making it more difficult for her.
|
Better?
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|