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Default Bush is back! - 08-27-2014, 11:54 AM

I was surfing the web looking for articles about God's favourite American family, when I stumbled across this article.


Quote:
Ladies, breaking news: it is time to step away from the molten wax and let our lady gardens grow free. Perhaps you already suspected something was afoot from the re-emergence of the lesser-spotted foof in the gym changing rooms.
Or maybe you ditched the razor when Gwyneth Paltrow admitted on the {*** filthy lesbian name deleted ***} Show that she "rocks a 70s vibe down there"but it is now official: 51 per cent of 1,870 women who answered an online pharmacy poll, carried out by UK Medix, do not “style or groom their pubic hair” with 45 per cent of us admitting that we can “no longer be bothered to keep up the grooming” and 62 per cent revealing that their partner “prefers the natural look”.

Whoooaa…hang on. Pubic topiary has become The Norm. Its demise is momentous. Thanks to pornography and those swooping crotch-shots of female singers’ hair-free gusset regions, female pubes have withered and died; a whole generation of young men are grossed out by Mother Nature’s handiwork because it hasn’t appeared on porn stars since the early 1990s and girls as young as 12 are trying to rid themselves of their pubescent femininity at a time when they should be celebrating their womanliness.

So just what is doing on downstairs?

Like so many fashion trends (false nails, hair extensions, fake tans), we can’t kid ourselves that the bald nunny arose out of a demand from our partners. Hoary old husbands weren’t down the pub debating how best to finesse their sex-lives before returning home to demand that the pubes must go. Most blokes are not that shallow. Or arguably they’re just happy to get jiggy with the object of their affections regardless. Most wouldn’t recoil even if their beloved’s follicles depicted the face of Christ, like the ones that turn up in tabloids on slices of bread.
I have quoted this article, not for the benefit of True Christian™ women who would never alter what God gave them down there, but for the benefit on the heathens who visit our website.
1 Corinthians 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
God gave you hairs down there to protect your modesty. It is a wonderful thing that this pornographic fad is coming to an end. Do you really think that Baby Jesus wishes to see your most personal private parts every time you undress? Do you really think your husbands want to see it? After all, you turn the light off for a good reason.

As for the last sentence of the article, my hairs down there most definitely depict the face of Christ.
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Default Re: Bush is back! - 08-31-2014, 06:51 PM

That is wonderful news! I am so blessed that I have long hair -- what a blessing from God to myself and to all those who surround me!


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Default Re: Bush is back! - 09-08-2014, 04:19 PM

I thought you were going to talk about Jeb Bush! Imagine my horrored response to this thread!


But anyway,

I think that the Anti-Terrorism Survelliance System installed in the LBC women's restrooms has shown that this rediculous fad never took hold in Freehold.

Perhaps some of the Pastors and others who monitor the womens' restroom can confirm?

See: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=68439 for more info.


Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV
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Default Re: Bush is back! - 09-08-2014, 07:57 PM

This is great news. I know that I don't like to see ladies displaying their private parts, and I know a lot of other Christian men who feel exactly the same way. Plus, this gets the Biblical stamp of approval!

...if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering. 1 Corinthians 11:15


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Default Re: Bush is back! - 09-08-2014, 11:36 PM

I was unaware that women do anything at all to their hair down there. Are there hairdressers for that sort of thing? Forgive me if I'm being too suggestive. This idea is just so new to me.


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Default Re: Bush is back! - 09-09-2014, 04:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
I was unaware that women do anything at all to their hair down there. Are there hairdressers for that sort of thing? Forgive me if I'm being too suggestive. This idea is just so new to me.
Sister Victory,

Many godless women have displeased the Baby Jesus by purposely "epilating the regions of our womanness." This goes against nature and the laws of God. He made the Appalachian Trail, with man's help, and if He chooses to make the Epilation Trail, I believe He will make it known through His Holy Word.

Mother tells me of a sister in Christ that has now gone to Glory whose womanly areas were so thick that when she removed undergarments in the ladies room, the hair touched water. While this was disgusting, at least she didn't break the Lord's Heart by clipping it. There were some traumatic experiences for the youth of the church when she would wear shorts to the summer picnics, but those are inappropriate for this forum. Mother thinks little Paulie Dewhurst was never the same after he tried to rescue the kitten he thought ran up the dear sister's clothing.

Yours in Our Blessed Lord,
NRL


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Default Re: Bush is back! - 09-09-2014, 07:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
This is great news. I know that I don't like to see ladies displaying their private parts, and I know a lot of other Christian men who feel exactly the same way. Plus, this gets the Biblical stamp of approval!

...if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering. 1 Corinthians 11:15
Amen!!
Nothing will extinguish an erection, test one's gag-reflex or catapult one into the realm of interminable madness more quickly than the sight of a shorn cleft in unfiltered light, with that inverted mockery of a phallus glowering at you defiantly, like the very eye of beelzebub...Unclean!!!
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Default Re: Bush is back! - 09-12-2014, 02:08 AM

Brothers and sisters, my husband likes to attend to matters *down there* by removing a significant amount and shortening what remains. He tells me this is to be expected of a good, clean wife, as it is unhygienic to be too hirstute outside of my head hair. Is this a sin I am committing by allowing him to do this?


Mark 14:38 'watch ye and foray, lest ye enter into temptation, the spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak'

Thessalonians 5:17 'pray without ceasing'
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Default Re: Bush is back! - 09-13-2014, 08:39 AM

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Originally Posted by whiteroses View Post
Brothers and sisters, my husband likes to attend to matters *down there* by removing a significant amount and shortening what remains. He tells me this is to be expected of a good, clean wife, as it is unhygienic to be too hirstute outside of my head hair. Is this a sin I am committing by allowing him to do this?
The Bible says that women must obey their husbands in all things. If God intended there to be an exception for the "hair down there," He would have mentioned it.


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Default Re: Bush is back! - 09-13-2014, 06:04 PM

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Originally Posted by whiteroses View Post
Brothers and sisters, my husband likes to attend to matters *down there* by removing a significant amount and shortening what remains. He tells me this is to be expected of a good, clean wife, as it is unhygienic to be too hirstute outside of my head hair. Is this a sin I am committing by allowing him to do this?
While Brother WWJDNow is (naturally) right, I have spoken to a number of my friends about this and it is unusual for a husband to attend to any such matter personally. We would all consider it to be women's work. Is your husband perhaps a hairdresser by profession?


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Default Re: Bush is back! - 09-14-2014, 12:01 AM

It would make me a little uncomfortable if my Husband wanted to do anything immodest that didn't lead directly to the chance of the creation of a new Christian soldier. Actually, it makes me uncomfortable even discussing it.


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Default Re: Bush is back! - 09-14-2014, 12:51 AM

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Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
It would make me a little uncomfortable if my Husband wanted to do anything immodest that didn't lead directly to the chance of the creation of a new Christian soldier. Actually, it makes me uncomfortable even discussing it.
Darling Victory,

I hope you don't mind that I ask this, but have you considered discussing your frigidity with Dr. Niles? His calm, soothing bedside manner was instrumental in helping me conquer many things in my life that were not pleasing to Christ. God has blessed Dr. Niles with an amazing knack for helping women.

Don't let the fact that his own wife left him (well, rumor has it) because of his attention to caring for his nephew. I assure you that in his hands, you'll find new feelings of strength that you haven't felt previously.

One look at his amazingly tanned, virile, sinewy limbed nephew and one knows his attention resulted in a powerful soldier for Christ.

Please give it some thought, dear. Your husband has been calling several of us for support. My pie can only take away so much of his longing for your attention.

Love you, dear sister!
NRL


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Default Re: Bush is back! - 09-14-2014, 03:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
It would make me a little uncomfortable if my Husband wanted to do anything immodest that didn't lead directly to the chance of the creation of a new Christian soldier. Actually, it makes me uncomfortable even discussing it.
As it should.

True Christian™ women should leave such matters to their Husband.

Quote:
1 Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Bush is back! - 09-16-2014, 02:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
The Bible says that women must obey their husbands in all things. If God intended there to be an exception for the "hair down there," He would have mentioned it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
While Brother WWJDNow is (naturally) right, I have spoken to a number of my friends about this and it is unusual for a husband to attend to any such matter personally. We would all consider it to be women's work. Is your husband perhaps a hairdresser by profession?
Thank you all for the replies, this has helped. My husband is not a hairdresser. He is a builder. He is (obviously) the only man I have any experience or knowledge of in this department, I thought it normal but now I am fearful that my husband is trying to lead me down the path to hell, and using the bible to do so!


Mark 14:38 'watch ye and foray, lest ye enter into temptation, the spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak'

Thessalonians 5:17 'pray without ceasing'
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