[JustGotSaved]

Seems like i run out of luck around here.

First i notice Miss April and her pretty pictuer and i even have a dream about her once, but apparently she's been run off from LBC a while ago.

Then i notice Miss Mari Valequez-Venezuala (or whatever the heck it is!) and i even go so far as to buy some tickets to spain. I really thought our Holiest God told me she was for me!!

But then i got sick and missed the flight. Since i prayed to God about it, i was very surpirsed i missed the flight. I guess God changed His mind or maybe I sinned in some way. Well, come to thnk of it, i *did* sin a little. but it was a celebration/anticipation sin prior to traveling. Because, it IS true that to make sure you dont make a hot n heavy fool of yourself before a first date, it's good to be, uh, free and cleanzed of certain hormones and things if you know what i mean. I guess it's true--Jesus is watching when you ________ ...

Well, with that said, I'm here to declare my availability for any LBC women out there. I look forward to your responses in this thread or any private messages. Private messages would really be nice.



If i dont get anything soon, i'll relax my AGE/LOOKS/WEIGHT standards for you. They're starting pretty high. I'll lower them a little every day or two. So after a while, i'm sure i'll get to all of you women. Well, unless i get something better first of course. Then i'll stop. Hmm, I cant quite find the right words for this, sorry. You gals know what i mean, i know this isn't sounding right, but i just mean to say, "dont worry, i'll get to you if i dont get any other bites".

So, Good Luck!

[WinnerNotSinner]

Lower your standards? Friend, you are a fine catch if ever I saw one, I'd be surprised if by this time tomorrow you haven't had at least 10 women declaring their interest right here in this thread. Praise!

Oh, and concerning that dago Maria Villadumbalo - I think GOD made you ill to help you, she really isn't worth the price of a flight - you could find women like her without going to Spain, just check your local street corner and fast food distributors.

[Sister Kitty]

Originally Posted by JustGotSaved

If i dont get anything soon, i'll relax my AGE/LOOKS/WEIGHT standards for you. They're starting pretty high. I'll lower them a little every day or two. So after a while, i'm sure i'll get to all of you women.

Friend, I shall pass some ancient wisdom on to you. My grandfather, who we set adrift on an ice floe many years ago, was unsaved, but very wise in the ways of love. His advice to my father, when he was but a young man was simple, but profound.

"Son", my grandfather said, "Go ugly early. There's a run on them later on." So true. High standards often lead to a life of deep loneliness and chronic masturbation.

My father too was wise, he knew when he was hearing the true wisdom of elders, and he took it to heart. And so he married my mother. This is her on her wedding day at the age of 12.



Without my dear grandfather's wisdom, I would never have been born. It is sad that he is now burning in Hell for all eternity, but it is his fault for never having heard of Jesus.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

There's no such thing as "luck." God moves us around as He sees fit. Our job is to smile while He does His business on us.

[Nobar King]

Dear brother JGS,

Don't lose hope! I was single for a long time and I finally found a woman who is interested in ME! It can be discouraging to constantly meet beautiful women who are available and eager but don't have any time to dedicate to Jesus Christ or even exploring their own spirituality or other false religion.

If a lonely old dude like me who is over the hill and lacking in romantic skills but can still drive at night can make a connection with someone special, then there might just still be hope for you, too.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Where are all these women hiding?

I think there may be a shortage of female members here for obvious reasons, they are in the process of begging their fathers permission to talk to you.

Maybe the fact you are not a True Christian™ means they are denying their daughters the privilege.

[JustGotSaved]

Originally Posted by WinnerNotSinner

Where are all these women hiding?

I think there may be a shortage of female members here for obvious reasons, they are in the process of begging their fathers permission to talk to you.

Maybe the fact you are not a True Christian™ means they are denying their daughters the privilege.

Two days now.

Would it help if i said we'd do Bible things together on a first date, if that'd make the Fathers feel better? I dont have any problem with exposing myself to redicule, we could even do street evangelizing.

Meanwhile, Ladies ranked 8 and above may now inquire if you wish.

I'll be here.

Dont make me go any lower!

JGS

[María Gálvez-Villalobos]

Originally Posted by JustGotSaved

Two days now.

Would it help if i said we'd do Bible things together on a first date, if that'd make the Fathers feel better? I dont have any problem with exposing myself to redicule, we could even do street evangelizing.

Meanwhile, Ladies ranked 8 and above may now inquire if you wish.

I'll be here.

Dont make me go any lower!

JGS

Ranked 8? What means that?

YIC, Mari

[JustGotSaved]

Originally Posted by María Gálvez-Villalobos

Ranked 8? What means that?

YIC, Mari

You know, it's the scale of looks. At first i was only allowing ladies pretty as a 9 or 10 to respond. But now i'll take an 8 (or 9 or 10).

Hopefully some lady 8 will write here or private message me. I'm not getting any younger or handsomer either

[María Gálvez-Villalobos]

Originally Posted by JustGotSaved

You know, it's the scale of looks. At first i was only allowing ladies pretty as a 9 or 10 to respond. But now i'll take an 8 (or 9 or 10).

Hopefully some lady 8 will write here or private message me. I'm not getting any younger or handsomer either

Ah. OK.

I'm obviously no even a 8. OK.

[JustGotSaved]

Originally Posted by María Gálvez-Villalobos

Ah. OK.

I'm obviously no even a 8. OK.

not true. But i cant afford another ticket to Alicante! But if you can visit Topeka, we can go to street corners and malls and harrangue the sinners together.

You can stay in my room at the Mission. The cockroachs wont be a problem anymore since i have about a dozen cockroach traps all over the room. I'll sleep in the janitor's closet.

Think about it...might be God's will youknow. Dont make me have to settle!

[Sister Kitty]

Originally Posted by JustGotSaved

You know, it's the scale of looks. At first i was only allowing ladies pretty as a 9 or 10 to respond. But now i'll take an 8 (or 9 or 10).

Hopefully some lady 8 will write here or private message me. I'm not getting any younger or handsomer either

I am not available (fortunately), however I am curious what number you would assign me on your 'scale'. Answer carefully.

[María Gálvez-Villalobos]

Originally Posted by Sister Kitty

I am not available (fortunately), however I am curious what number you would assign me on your 'scale'. Answer carefully.

Oh, I'm sure you got a higher number than me Mrs Quiti.

YIC, Mari

[María Gálvez-Villalobos]

Originally Posted by JustGotSaved

not true. But i cant afford another ticket to Alicante! But if you can visit Topeka, we can go to street corners and malls and harrangue the sinners together.

You can stay in my room at the Mission. The cockroachs wont be a problem anymore since i have about a dozen cockroach traps all over the room. I'll sleep in the janitor's closet.

Think about it...might be God's will youknow. Dont make me have to settle!

I'm so sorry, and beleive me I am very flatter cos I can see you are a very intelligent man whit that high head of yours I mean is obvious God have made you very brained much more brained than me, but God have said me my place is here in Alcoy whit my grandparents working for the moment in the land and helping build stuff whit cements and stuff, and to be a humble patient girl for marry whit the man He will choice for me.

Sometimes you know what is right at the right time and what is wrong at the wrong time and what is wrong at the right time and what is right at the wrong time which mean it's really wrong and no right even if the time may to be right it's no ofcourse cos it have to be right at the right time and sometimes you just know so I stop this now the end goodd luck though.

YIC, Mari

[JustGotSaved]

Originally Posted by María Gálvez-Villalobos

Sometimes you know what is right at the right time and what is wrong at the wrong time and what is wrong at the right time and what is right at the wrong time which mean it's really wrong and no right even if the time may to be right it's no ofcourse cos it have to be right at the right time and sometimes you just know so I stop this now the end goodd luck though.

YIC, Mari

I think i understand.

[JustGotSaved]

Originally Posted by Sister Kitty

I am not available (fortunately), however I am curious what number you would assign me on your 'scale'. Answer carefully.

I only ask that the women judge themselves and depending on their self worth (the scale) write me when and if i get to their level. It isnt up to me.

Mari was already told she was my second choise after Miss April, so in her case it dint count.

[Sister Kitty]

Originally Posted by JustGotSaved

I only ask that the women judge themselves and depending on their self worth (the scale) write me when and if i get to their level. It isnt up to me.

I do not know how this is possible but you have given the only correct answer. Any number you would have chosen would have seriously offended me. Hmmm, I am now disappointed. I was looking forward to verbally flaying you.

[Little Donkey]

Originally Posted by JustGotSaved

I only ask that the women judge themselves and depending on their self worth (the scale) write me when and if i get to their level. It isnt up to me.

Friend, this post worries me. It seems to me you are drifting towards moral relativism in your desperation. Hold firm!

Sister Kitty and indeed all women have an absolute numerical value assigned to them by their Creator. They cannot decide they want to be an 8, just because they feel like it, just as they cannot decide they want to be head of the household. That's just how it is. If any woman wants to know their number, I can figure it out from a color photograph and a few minutes in the prayer closet.

[Sister Kitty]

Originally Posted by Little Donkey

Friend, this post worries me. It seems to me you are drifting towards moral relativism in your desperation. Hold firm!

Sister Kitty and indeed all women have an absolute numerical value assigned to them by their Creator. They cannot decide they want to be an 8, just because they feel like it, just as they cannot decide they want to be head of the household. That's just how it is. If any woman wants to know their number, I can figure it out from a color photograph and a few minutes in the prayer closet.

I dare you, forum member.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Originally Posted by Sister Kitty

I dare you, forum member.

Sister Kitty, I'm sure that whatever number may have otherwise been assigned you, your zero-tolerance policy against anal sex as a founding member of A.S.S. more than doubles it.