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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 08-30-2008, 12:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Guy View Post
76. Enjoy the missionary position with your spouse, in your own bed.
In other words, procreate!


Genesis 1

Quote:
28: And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 09-22-2008, 09:28 PM

Are you piffleing kidding me??
you are alll seriously piffleED in the head.........
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 09-22-2008, 09:43 PM

You have such a dirty mouth for a 14 year old. What in here makes you think we are kidding? We are dealing with eternal souls here, this is NO joking matter.


Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 09-22-2008, 09:55 PM

where did you get 14 from?
and no i dont think this a joke.. you are all so piffleed that i can belive you would do this.. kill innocent people because they choose to live differently, because they are different from you and you piffleed up sense of righteousness and your ideals that you believe are the only way to be.
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 09-22-2008, 11:52 PM

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Originally Posted by ...? WTF is this? View Post
where did you get 14 from?
and no i dont think this a joke.. you are all so piffleed that i can belive you would do this.. kill innocent people because they choose to live differently, because they are different from you and you piffleed up sense of righteousness and your ideals that you believe are the only way to be.
I see no innocent people! Are you pushing Satanism at God's Favorite Church? You won't last long, boy!





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 01-15-2009, 07:04 PM

How many of you guys have actually killed sinners/witches/emos/muslims? If you haven't than why don't you?
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 01-15-2009, 09:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary Littleton09 View Post
How many of you guys have actually killed sinners/witches/emos/muslims? If you haven't than why don't you?
You're ignorant. What do you think this means,
"Hebrews 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you."

Landover is working towards a theocracy (look it up). When that day arrives, instead on contenting ourselves with the fine job or troops are doing killing mudslimes in Iraq and sinners in the death penalty states, we will be ruled by God's Law and your suggestion will come to fruition.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 01-16-2009, 07:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary Littleton09 View Post
How many of you guys have actually killed sinners/witches/emos/muslims? If you haven't than why don't you?
Your list isn't complete. I have done my fair share in ridding the world of these cockroaches. But JESUS is coming to start Armageddon and we are fine with that. We can wait another year if necessary.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 01-16-2009, 04:32 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
JESUS is coming to start Armageddon and we are fine with that. We can wait another year if necessary.
I can't
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 01-17-2009, 05:06 AM

This liſt stopped in Avgvſt at nvmbre 76. What are the othre 14 Iesus approued actiuites?

I'd like to add the follouuing, if I mae...

77. Sex Magick on the Summer Solstice, to honor the Lord and Ladie.
78. Concocting and infvsion of belladona and mandrake, and drinking of svch, to commune with the spirits.
79. Praiſing Iesus, whilſt in the midſt of orgasm, tripping on mandrake, during a sex magick ritual.
80. Reading the Gnostic grimoires and learning all of Iesus' spells.

Come on guys, let's not let this thread die. There's still twenty slots left.

~~RauenMoone


Ecc 9:5 For the liuing know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither haue they any more a reward, for the memorie of them is forgotten.
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Default Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die - 01-30-2009, 05:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reuerend RauenMoone View Post
This liſt stopped in Avgvſt at nvmbre 76. What are the othre 14 Iesus approued actiuites?

I'd like to add the follouuing, if I mae...

77. Sex Magick on the Summer Solstice, to honor the Lord and Ladie.
78. Concocting and infvsion of belladona and mandrake, and drinking of svch, to commune with the spirits.
79. Praiſing Iesus, whilſt in the midſt of orgasm, tripping on mandrake, during a sex magick ritual.
80. Reading the Gnostic grimoires and learning all of Iesus' spells.

Come on guys, let's not let this thread die. There's still twenty slots left.

~~RauenMoone

None of those things are Christian Approved™ activities. Get thee hence you pervert!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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