[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Brethren, I recently was nervous about the Jews, due to my deep concern for Christ's safety, and decided to spy on Hollywood by watching a film called "The Matrix", which persecutes Christians like everything I see. It seemed for a few minutes as though it might not have been a Jewish conspiracy, until I noticed a man with product in his hair, obviously trying to conceal his inferior phenotype in order to work mischief in the land.

I kept a close eye on the character, expecting him to pick the protagonists pocket, or ensnare him in a global conspiracy, or perjure himself to kill Jesus, but he did not. So I became very upset. Obviously Jewish propaganda has escalated to the point that they are pretending not to do these things. How can we entrust Hollywood with our children's eyes, if they mean only to blind them to the Gospel of Christianity as it regards the Jewish people, not to mention the reality of eternal torture for all secularists soever?

I expressed this sentiment to Jesus by typing my prayers into Reverence Reference, the recently optimized search engine connecting all JesOS nodes in the Christ Cloud. My search terms were these:

Lord Jesus, Most High Son of the Most High God of the Most High Religion, protect me from Kabala and Gematria and other tenebrous secrets of the Jews. Protect my children from enslavement to their insidious, uncensored doctrinal inductions into everyday reality, modern culture, uneven musical scales which hotten the blood, and other evils of the world which were inspired by their sinister philosophies. And may you force them to disable the cybernetic enhancements by which they keep their false messiah, Adolf Hitler, the founder of secular Judaism and its derivative atheism, on life support in a subterranean reticulum of tunnel networks. God help us all. Amen.

Christ's response was this:

No results found for Lord Jesus, Most High Son of the Most High God of the Most High Religion, protect me from Kabala and Gematria and other tenebrous secrets of the Jews. Protect my children from enslavement to their insidious, uncensored doctrinal inductions into everyday reality, modern culture, uneven musical scales which hotten the blood, and other evils of the world which were inspired by their sinister philosophies. And may you force them to disable the cybernetic enhancements by which they keep their false messiah, Adolf Hitler, the founder of secular Judaism and its derivative atheism, on life support in a subterranean reticulum of tunnel networks. God help us all. Amen.

So either the Jews got Him, I thought, or the cyberpunks have finally hacked JesOS. I performed a test by placing a nickel in the DVD drive and closing it. The nickel was still there when I opened the drive, leading me to believe that I was hacked by cyberpunks instead. Are these Jews in disguise, like the reptilian UFOnauts?