Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 05:23 AM
I have no idea. I'm a good looking guy and a lot of people have told me I'm a great catch. Still, it has been difficult to find the right woman for me and to make that connection. I meet a lot of beautiful women, but I'm usually too timid to ask them out. Sometimes I get turned down, and sometimes it's not worth bothering.
Anyway, last month I was out fishing with my wingman Brother Harold Porter at the Coralville Reservoir in Johnson which is 4 miles north of Iowa City and after a full day of catching Northern Pike, Walleye and White Bass we went to Robert's Steakhouse where Harry introduced me to a lovely woman with a beautiful voice and a body to match!
We hit it off and have had a couple of dates although she lives a ways away and it hasn't been easy finding the right time to meet up but I've been really happy and have stopped worrying so much about the crimes that are happening on my street and have started thinking more about when I can see her, again!
Last week when we met I brought her a bouquet of flowers from my garden that was so large I had to carry it with both arms. I could tell how happy she was and she said she'd never even seen a bouquet that large. It's been a while since I had a special woman in my life, but I haven't lost that charm; I'm the King! I think she really likes me because she keeps giving me that look.
We have a date for the 4th of July at Thirty Acre Park in Newton. I can still drive at night so I'm going to pick her up in my truck and take her to the event. I'm going to bring a blanket and some wine coolers, and I'm feeling pretty confident at this point, but I could use some tips if anyone has suggestions about how to make her really like me.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 05:29 AM
Can she make decent bisquits and gravy? That's the central issue.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 05:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Can she make decent biscuits and gravy? That's the central issue.
|
I haven't had a chance to try her biscuits but I'm looking forward to it!
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 05:32 AM
You should check her rectum for signs of anal play. That was the first thing I did when I met Cindy Lou.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 05:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
You should check her rectum for signs of anal play. That was the first thing I did when I met Cindy Lou.
|
That sounds pretty extreme. She seems like a pure and wholesome gal. I don't plan on sticking it in there, anyway. I'm not even sure I'd know how to perform a rectum examination.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 05:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
That sounds pretty extreme. She seems like a pure and wholesome gal. I don't plan on sticking it in there, anyway. I'm not even sure I'd know how to perform a rectum examination.
|
Well, you start with a flashlight and a stick....
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 05:43 AM
We'll see how she likes that.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 05:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
That sounds pretty extreme. She seems like a pure and wholesome gal. I don't plan on sticking it in there, anyway. I'm not even sure I'd know how to perform a rectum examination.
|
There could be demons in there!!! I know you are a gentleman, Brother Nobar, but the least you can do for the sake of her immortal soul is give it a quick glance. What if it is a gaping, drooling, cavernous maw out of some atheistic science fiction movie?
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 05:55 AM
One way to make women really like you is to establish your natural dominance over them very early on. Make sure she knows YOU ARE THE BOSS. They like knowing that someone is in charge.
It's also a good idea to let them know that you have other potential helpmeets "in the wings" so to speak. They like having the feeling that they've "won" even if it's conditional and (possibly) ephemeral.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
|
|
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
|
|
Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 06:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
You should check her rectum for signs of anal play. That was the first thing I did when I met Cindy Lou.
|
You romantic devil, you.
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 08:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
It's a good idea to let them know that you have other potential helpmeets "in the wings" so to speak. They like having the feeling that they've "won" even if it's conditional and (possibly) ephemeral.
|
That sounds like good advice. I'm going to use that if I can.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 950
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing, Freehold, Iowa.
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 01:52 PM
It seems to be going really well so far, she seems to like spending time with you, but maybe you could try approaching this from a different angle? I would suggest instead of talking to her, talking to her father.
If you get his approval, it doesn't matter whether she really likes you or not, because he can make her marry you anyway. It takes the risk of rejection out of the equation.
6 A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"
Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.
GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 03:10 PM
She sounds like a wonderful woman, Brother Nobar.
I hope your picnic goes well. And be sure tell us what her pie tastes like.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
|
True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
|
|
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-03-2011, 03:36 PM
Nothing like a picnic and diving into a good spread. Be sure to check for bugs first!
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-30-2011, 03:55 PM
OK, guys, the Independence Day date was a total success. I brought her a huge bouquet of flowers from my yard and I'm pretty sure she liked that. We had our wine coolers and some BBQ and then watched the fireworks from the side of the lake. It was very romantic. I even got a sample of her best pie (cherry) and it was very juicy.
She kissed me, but I didn't want her to think that I'm loose, so I made sure it was a quick one.
Since then I've taken her out on a few more social events. We went out to dinner once, we went to a choir recital, but mostly we've been trying to stay out of the heat! She tried to get me to go ice skating, but I don't need to break my ass, again.
The last few times I've brought her a huge bouquet of hydrangea because they have been in bloom this month. I try to bring more than I can carry so that it looks impressive:
I just hope that she doesn't get tired of getting the same kind of flower each time.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 178
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Ori-gone
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-30-2011, 06:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
I just hope that she doesn't get tired of getting the same kind of flower each time.
|
Two things I've noticed True Christian women never get tired of are flowers of any kind and the Word of Jesus. I'm sure she'll appreciate them no matter how many times she gets them.
Only 2 in all of history have died for freedom all over the world... Jesus Christ and the American soldier.
|
|
True Christian™ Creation Scientist Fisher of Men
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,835
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-31-2011, 07:37 PM
When I was still "on the prowl" in Bible College, I used to start out the evening with a reading of our favorite verses of Scripture. It really set the tone for the date.
II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
07-31-2011, 08:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedediah
When I was still "on the prowl" in Bible College, I used to start out the evening with a reading of our favorite verses of Scripture. It really set the tone for the date.
|
I have Daisy Mae read me a chapter of the Holy Bible to start off any date. I want to check her for mistakes. I of course have the Scriptures memorized. I can't understand why she doesn't.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 3
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: A place somewhere where people here curse.
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
09-05-2011, 08:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
I have no idea. I'm a good looking guy and a lot of people have told me I'm a great catch. Still, it has been difficult to find the right woman for me and to make that connection. I meet a lot of beautiful women, but I'm usually too timid to ask them out. Sometimes I get turned down, and sometimes it's not worth bothering.
Anyway, last month I was out fishing with my wingman Brother Harold Porter at the Coralville Reservoir in Johnson which is 4 miles north of Iowa City and after a full day of catching Northern Pike, Walleye and White Bass we went to Robert's Steakhouse where Harry introduced me to a lovely woman with a beautiful voice and a body to match!
We hit it off and have had a couple of dates although she lives a ways away and it hasn't been easy finding the right time to meet up but I've been really happy and have stopped worrying so much about the crimes that are happening on my street and have started thinking more about when I can see her, again!
Last week when we met I brought her a bouquet of flowers from my garden that was so large I had to carry it with both arms. I could tell how happy she was and she said she'd never even seen a bouquet that large. It's been a while since I had a special woman in my life, but I haven't lost that charm; I'm the King! I think she really likes me because she keeps giving me that look.
We have a date for the 4th of July at Thirty Acre Park in Newton. I can still drive at night so I'm going to pick her up in my truck and take her to the event. I'm going to bring a blanket and some wine coolers, and I'm feeling pretty confident at this point, but I could use some tips if anyone has suggestions about how to make her really like me.
|
You look like a seventy year old and that dark evil sorcerer Gandalf and Dumboldore and you're expecting to get a twenty year old woman?
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: Hey, Nobar, what took so long? -
09-05-2011, 10:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OneMouthTwoEars
You look like a seventy year old and that dark evil sorcerer Gandalf and Dumboldore and you're expecting to get a twenty year old woman?
|
You would be well advised to keep your mouth shut until you've gone to the Introduction Section and properly introduced yourself.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|