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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Happy Birthday, Mr. Roland. Please REPENT! -
05-25-2018, 08:48 AM
Mr. Roland,
Please, have a nice Birthday but please, it is time to realize that Jesus is going to lose His patience soon. He'll probably return by the end of this year! And your kind manners and politeness will not help you at all. Unless you choose Him over the FSM or whatever, you'll suffer for Eternity in Hell!
John 3:18
He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
As you can see, Jesus always wins!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Roland. Please REPENT! -
05-25-2018, 11:19 AM
Frankly it is no surprise that you have not been taken to Jesus’ side at this late point in your life.
John 5:24 - Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,342
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Roland. Please REPENT! -
05-25-2018, 05:52 PM
Dear Mr. Roland, you realize that every day of your life since the day you were born is another day closer to death and an eternity in hell, don't you?
Please repent of your sins-- actual and potential-- accept Jesus and be born again for a real birthday that leads to eternal life as soon as you are lucky enough to die.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
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Posts: 2,208
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Roland. Please REPENT! -
05-25-2018, 11:35 PM
Hi all,
Thank you for the kind wishes. I did an extra round, looking under the tables, in the cupboards and I even chopped some bricks out of the wall; but I did not manage to find Jesus. Honesty demands that I mention that I had to chop those bricks out of the wall as I accidentally hit a water pipe while drilling a hole in the wall.
I do care for your kind thoughts and I do feel sad that you believe know that I will burn in hell.
And Handmaiden: It may seem that I am a year closer to death but that´s just an illusion. I could get tied up in some weird boating accident tomorrow and that would be the end.
No need to be all gloomy though; I am pretty certain there will be cake.
Kind regards,
Roland
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,342
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Roland. Please REPENT! -
05-26-2018, 12:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland
Hi all,
Thank you for the kind wishes. I did an extra round, looking under the tables, in the cupboards and I even chopped some bricks out of the wall; but I did not manage to find Jesus. Honesty demands that I mention that I had to chop those bricks out of the wall as I accidentally hit a water pipe while drilling a hole in the wall.
I do care for your kind thoughts and I do feel sad that you believe know that I will burn in hell.
And Handmaiden: It may seem that I am a year closer to death but that´s just an illusion. I could get tied up in some weird boating accident tomorrow and that would be the end.
No need to be all gloomy though; I am pretty certain there will be cake.
Kind regards,
Roland
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Forgive me for not having a degree in logic, but regardless of when it happens, every day that you continue to live makes it more likely that you will die, n'est-ce pas ?
Furthermore, as the Bible is firm to point out, death is not "the end" but merely the beginning of the worst time of your life--if you are an unbeliever.
However, for those Sealed in the Lamb's Book of Righteousness®, bodily demise is the all expense paid ticket to unlimited fun and happiness with Jesus. Why anyone would want to waste any time having fun here on earth is beyond me.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Roland. Please REPENT! -
05-26-2018, 01:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland
Hi all,
Thank you for the kind wishes. I did an extra round, looking under the tables, in the cupboards and I even chopped some bricks out of the wall; but I did not manage to find Jesus. Honesty demands that I mention that I had to chop those bricks out of the wall as I accidentally hit a water pipe while drilling a hole in the wall.
I do care for your kind thoughts and I do feel sad that you believe know that I will burn in hell.
And Handmaiden: It may seem that I am a year closer to death but that´s just an illusion. I could get tied up in some weird boating accident tomorrow and that would be the end.
No need to be all gloomy though; I am pretty certain there will be cake.
Kind regards,
Roland
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Roland,
You are a petty and sarcastic little person, aren't you? Here we are, reaching out in True Christian™ fellowship with concern for the grave danger in which your soul currently abides. You respond to our well-wishes with sarcastic, condescending messages. I can sense the Baby Jesus crying because of this. I felt His Tears on my face as I wrote that last sentence.
Judgment day is promised to be soon (Rev. 22:12). Do you truly want the movie of your life shown to the world or do you want to join those of us who will bypass that embarrassing moment and be with JESUS in the air?
Many happy returns of your day. Sinner.
BrotherLarry
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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