Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-14-2008, 12:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08
Mr. Don Bozo el Guapo, I'm afraid this isn't the welfare desk where you can finance your drug smuggling operations underneath the US-Mexico border.
|
Does this mean that you want to apply for the position boy? We can give you a trial run if you like.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 674
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: NAU
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-14-2008, 12:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Does this mean that you want to apply for the position boy? We can give you a trial run if you like.
|
It would be a an honor, Mr. Pastor Ezekiel, however, nigras have clumsy hands and doing something that requires intelligence makes me hungry and confused. One more reason why I need to be White in the inside like Condi.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-14-2008, 12:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08
It would be a an honor, Mr. Pastor Ezekiel, however, nigras have clumsy hands and doing something that requires intelligence makes me hungry and confused. One more reason why I need to be White in the inside like Condi.
|
I understand how you coons want to be house nigras. You want to improve yourself the best you can, some of you. We'll post a letter asking for help in this thread soon, and let you give it a whirl. Backing up your advice with scripture is a plus.
Of course the pay would be substantially lower for you. You coloreds don't need much money to get by on, not like a White man.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 674
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: NAU
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-14-2008, 12:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I understand how you coons want to be house nigras. You want to improve yourself the best you can, some of you. We'll post a letter asking for help in this thread soon, and let you give it a whirl. Backing up your advice with scripture is a plus.
Of course the pay would be substantially lower for you. You coloreds don't need much money to get by on, not like a White man.
|
Thank you so much, sir! Coons do not need pay. Serving you and the Almighty is grand enough!! Wait until I tell that to mah 'brothas' in the hood.
|
|
God's Pincushion
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 651
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Living with beaners
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-14-2008, 07:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08
Mr. Don Bozo el Guapo, I'm afraid this isn't the welfare desk where you can finance your drug smuggling operations underneath the US-Mexico border.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Does this mean that you want to apply for the position boy? We can give you a trial run if you like.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08
It would be a an honor, Mr. Pastor Ezekiel, however, nigras have clumsy hands and doing something that requires intelligence makes me hungry and confused. One more reason why I need to be White in the inside like Condi.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I understand how you coons want to be house nigras. You want to improve yourself the best you can, some of you. We'll post a letter asking for help in this thread soon, and let you give it a whirl. Backing up your advice with scripture is a plus.
Of course the pay would be substantially lower for you. You coloreds don't need much money to get by on, not like a White man.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osambo 08
Thank you so much, sir! Coons do not need pay. Serving you and the Almighty is grand enough!! Wait until I tell that to mah 'brothas' in the hood.
|
Attn: Passtor Ezikial. Your not really thinking of giveing this scientificly proven undersized pea brained monkey spunk this job are you? He dosent even know that drug profits come from the welfare office.
Wrestling with Demons.
Apostle at LARGE to the Heathen Latin Chicas.
LBCs Token compliance to NAFTA
|
|
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
|
|
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-14-2008, 07:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Bozo el Guapo
When can I expect the 1st check?
|
When you do the first thing that remotely resembles your job, JESUS will return and you will get everything you deserve.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
|
|
God's Pincushion
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 651
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Living with beaners
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-14-2008, 10:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
When you do the first thing that remotely resembles your job, JESUS will return and you will get everything you deserve.
|
If the raptures waitin on me to do the first thing resembleing a job it aint gonna happen this lifetime.
Wrestling with Demons.
Apostle at LARGE to the Heathen Latin Chicas.
LBCs Token compliance to NAFTA
|
|
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
|
|
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-15-2008, 12:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Bozo el Guapo
If the raptures waitin on me to do the first thing resembleing a job it aint gonna happen this lifetime.
|
I suspected as much from a parrothead. So now you know when your first check will arrive.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
|
|
God's Pincushion
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 651
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Living with beaners
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-15-2008, 06:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
I suspected as much from a parrothead. So now you know when your first check will arrive.
|
Are you refering to that James Buffette,Hootie Blows kinda stuff? If you know of a way to get a buzz off a parrot maybe you should send me a personal message.
Wrestling with Demons.
Apostle at LARGE to the Heathen Latin Chicas.
LBCs Token compliance to NAFTA
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-17-2008, 11:38 PM
Perhaps Don Bozo and Osambo could have a competition of sorts?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 23
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Somewhere in South America
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-19-2008, 04:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Perhaps Don Bozo and Osambo could have a competition of sorts?
|
I remember once when I was deployed to Lebanon in the 80s, we captured a group of three Joo spies, and we made one of the Joos fight an Arab to the death while the other two watched. The Arab won, but only after losing an eye and a couple of teeth. I guess the dead Joo took the Old Testament pretty seriously. Good times.
|
|
God's Pincushion
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 651
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Living with beaners
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-23-2008, 05:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tantheus Robinson
I remember once when I was deployed to Lebanon in the 80s, we captured a group of three Joo spies, and we made one of the Joos fight an Arab to the death while the other two watched. The Arab won, but only after losing an eye and a couple of teeth. I guess the dead Joo took the Old Testament pretty seriously. Good times.
|
Sounds like you got some serious issuses Bubba. What happend to the other 2 Judios. Try uppin your meds,in fact take the whole bottle.
Wrestling with Demons.
Apostle at LARGE to the Heathen Latin Chicas.
LBCs Token compliance to NAFTA
|
|
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
|
|
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: Job Opening: Advice columnist -
12-23-2008, 05:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Bozo el Guapo
Sounds like you got some serious issuses Bubba. What happend to the other 2 Judios. Try uppin your meds,in fact take the whole bottle.
|
Hey, it's just what they do anyway. We ransomed the other two back for some stock from Bernie Madoff.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|