PRAYER REQUESTS Please check regularly |
|
Christ's Battle Axe
|
|
Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
|
|
Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-09-2007, 01:50 AM
ATTENTION: There will be a special prayer vigil on the Church's main front lawn starting at 10:00 tonight. We will all be praying that the six trapped Utah miners die in insufferable agony with their friends and families looking helplessly on, while God laughs and mocks their torment.
There is no doubt that these miners are facing God's wrath. For one, they are in Utah, home of the wicked and vile Mor(m)on cult. Jesus is tired of watching these lunatics parade around in their demonically-possessed underwear, knocking on the doors of True Christians™ and distracting them from prayers, football games, and corporal punishment. The mining profession is also a hotbed of homosexual activity—when you put a bunch of burly studs in a dark cave and deprive them of any contact with their wives or pastors, buggery is all but inevitable. And everyone knows that most miners belong to a commie labor union, scheming to plunder the hard-inherited dollars of their kindly corporate masters. Jesus hates that.
I hope to see all of you at this very special event.
Last edited by Virginia Day Templeton; 08-09-2007 at 01:51 AM.
|
|
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
|
|
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-09-2007, 07:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton
ATTENTION: There will be a special prayer vigil on the Church's main front lawn starting at 10:00 tonight. We will all be praying that the six trapped Utah miners die in insufferable agony with their friends and families looking helplessly on, while God laughs and mocks their torment.
There is no doubt that these miners are facing God's wrath. For one, they are in Utah, home of the wicked and vile Mor(m)on cult. Jesus is tired of watching these lunatics parade around in their demonically-possessed underwear, knocking on the doors of True Christians™ and distracting them from prayers, football games, and corporal punishment. The mining profession is also a hotbed of homosexual activity—when you put a bunch of burly studs in a dark cave and deprive them of any contact with their wives or pastors, buggery is all but inevitable. And everyone knows that most miners belong to a commie labor union, scheming to plunder the hard-inherited dollars of their kindly corporate masters. Jesus hates that.
I hope to see all of you at this very special event.
|
I am not sure your sentiments are appropriate for the occasion. Clearly, men who intentionally dig thousands of feet underground through coal, which are merely the petrified remains of souls who have gone to HELL (why else would something from underground burn?) deserve it when they burrow into one of SATAN's CAVERNS.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-09-2007, 01:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
I am not sure your sentiments are appropriate for the occasion. Clearly, men who intentionally dig thousands of feet underground through coal, which are merely the petrified remains of souls who have gone to HELL (why else would something from underground burn?) deserve it when they burrow into one of SATAN's CAVERNS.
|
True enough Pastor Pistle. And I've always been a big supporter of burning coal. Better coal than that communist wind power.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-09-2007, 02:45 PM
Are we sure these mincing Mormon miners are even trapped? From what I know of miners, it seems more likely they've gone Red and set up a picket line, 1,500 feet underground. Does Thatcher still have that hotline to the White House? She'd know what to do - send in the riot police!
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-09-2007, 03:02 PM
I think it is another sign of Jesus' eternal love for His Christians that He sends worthless scum like Mormons into dangerous places like mines to die slow, horrible deaths getting us cheep energy. Think of all the anguish and heartache good Christians have been spared and give thanks to Christ!
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
|
Anvil of the Antipodes
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,269
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: policing mockery of the free internets
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-09-2007, 06:20 PM
as a miner myself I believe I can speak with some understanding of the subject.
If they were True Christians I would pray for their immediate earthly salvation. As they are unsaved however I will merely pray for their spiritual salvation.
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
|
|
True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-09-2007, 07:10 PM
As an entrepreneur, I feel bad for Mr. Robert Murray, whose fine name and sterling reputation is being dragged through the mud by greedy miners' families, the liberal media, environmental wackos, crooked union bosses, mine safety sissies, and global warming nuts.
|
|
Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-10-2007, 12:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington
As an entrepreneur, I feel bad for Mr. Robert Murray, whose fine name and sterling reputation is being dragged through the mud by greedy miners' families, the liberal media, environmental wackos, crooked union bosses, mine safety sissies, and global warming nuts.
|
Brother, your Christian compassion never ceases to amaze me. PRAISE!
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
|
|
Debate Moderator (and participant) Master Debater-- Has Never Been Defeated in a Debate Louder Than Reason
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,139
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-11-2007, 08:36 AM
I can't help but feel bad for the thousands of dollars worth of machinery that was surely trapped in those caverns. Hopefully rescue efforts will be fruitful in digging them up.
Last edited by Wash O'Hanley; 08-13-2007 at 03:11 AM.
|
|
Senior Pastor VP of Evangelical Outreach On FIRE for Jesus
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,016
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Libertydale, NC
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-13-2007, 01:49 PM
When I read the thread title, I thought it said "Prayer vigil tonight for trapped minors", and I thought to myself, what have those Catlicker priests done this time? I said a quick prayer that those poor kids would be free from the semen-stained hands of those dress wearing homers.
I then opened the thread and found that Jesus answered my prayer retroactively, and even replaced this whole thread with one about trapped miners. Praise the sweet name of the almighty God!
Pastor Billy-Reuben
|
|
Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 1,010
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church, Waterford, WI
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-14-2007, 04:56 AM
Let us pray. Lord, watch over and protect the trapped miners. Send Your Holy Spirit to grant them serenity and peace, and the assurance that they are under Your care. We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ Your Son, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever, Amen.
ACTS 5:29
Quote:
But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
|
There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-15-2007, 11:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin
Let us pray. Lord, watch over and protect the trapped miners. Send Your Holy Spirit to grant them serenity and peace, and the assurance that they are under Your care. We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ Your Son, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever, Amen.
|
Let us pray. Almighty God, we beseech You to sustain them with Your Holy presence, to release them from suffering, and deliver them from their distress. In Jesus' Name we ask, Amen.
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
|
|
Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-16-2007, 11:59 AM
Matthew 6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
The next time I visit my prayer closet, I shall pray that the vain utterances of this pair of hypocrites have not enraged Jesus to the point where He finds it necessary to inflict even more suffering upon these red Mormon union monkeys as a punishment.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
|
|
True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-17-2007, 03:37 PM
Quote:
3 rescue workers killed at Utah mine
HUNTINGTON, Utah - The search for six miners missing deep underground was abruptly halted after a second cave-in killed three rescue workers and injured at least six others who were trying to tunnel through rubble to reach them.
|
So now it turns out that three more are dead. Perhaps the only way to stop these causalties to the send a surge of rescuers to pacify and hold the mine.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-17-2007, 06:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Matthew 6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
The next time I visit my prayer closet, I shall pray that the vain utterances of this pair of hypocrites have not enraged Jesus to the point where He finds it necessary to inflict even more suffering upon these red Mormon union monkeys as a punishment.
|
Gosh, I didn't make the Utah connection with the Mormons! ... hmmm ... those miners are mor(m)ons, you think? ...
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-17-2007, 09:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by minister noddy
Gosh, I didn't make the Utah connection with the Mormons! ... hmmm ... those miners are mor(m)ons, you think? ...
|
I think Jesus is saying something about people who attack the Godly American soda and coffee industries.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
|
Christ's Battle Axe
|
|
Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
|
|
Re: Prayer vigil tonight for trapped miners -
08-17-2007, 11:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington
So now it turns out that three more are dead. Perhaps the only way to stop these causalties to the send a surge of rescuers to pacify and hold the mine.
|
It is clear that what's going on out there is nothing short of sheer anarchy. We need to bring democracy to these people, and fast!
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|