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Righteous and Patriotic Highest body count at the VFW
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,319
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-22-2007, 08:25 PM
The F in your post is offensive.
God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-22-2007, 10:10 PM
Not just the F-in Post but the A was also offensive
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-22-2007, 10:17 PM
I think the whole idea of joking about these war wounds is offensive. What's next, people making jokes about the pretzel that wiccan spellcasters used to almost assassinate the President?
Trent, can't wait to see you. I'm on business in Thailand right now, but I've emailed you the code for the security system. Help yourself to anything in the fridge, make yourself at home.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™
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Posts: 717
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Somebody's couch
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-23-2007, 07:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
I'm on business in Thailand right now, but I've emailed you the code for the security system. Help yourself to anything in the fridge, make yourself at home.
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Okay, I'm settled in. Just so you don't freak out when you get home, I kind of deleted the email, and then I sort of forgot the code, to make a long story short I had to do something sort of like breaking in. I broke a window, and then when I tried to climb up via the air conditioning unit it collapsed, so I ended up just kicking the door down.
When the police came they were a bit jumpy and shot your dog. Don't worry, They recognized me away so there was no trouble.
As for the water I swear I had no idea you had a sprinkler system in there, if I'd known I would have never been so careless with the oven. Don't worry, I'll get that fixed too.
By the time you get home everything will be fixed and cleaned up, and you'll be welcoming me as a hero.
PS, where's the file you used to print that funny German Bible that was on the cofee table? I'll print you a new one once I can find it.
PPS where's this Gutenburg place?
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Anvil of the Antipodes
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Posts: 1,269
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Location: policing mockery of the free internets
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-23-2007, 08:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall
The F in your post is offensive.Sister Talitha Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD!
Not just the F-in Post but the A was also offensive
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You misunderstand My 'jumping-to-incorrect-conclusions' brother and sister.
LMFAO merely stands for
L - Loving
M-My
F-Fathers
A-Almighty
O-Omnipotence
What did you think i meant?
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
Last edited by Brother Guy Bayard; 09-23-2007 at 08:16 AM.
Reason: gramma and punkchasian
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-23-2007, 05:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr.
Okay, I'm settled in. Just so you don't freak out when you get home
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Okay, in normal situations I would be "freaking out" as you kids say, but I'm so grateful to have a hero like you around, so it's no big deal. I'm sure you'll get it all fixed up.
About the Gutenburg Bible, call the Landover Baptist University museum, tell them it's an emergency.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™
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Posts: 717
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Location: Somebody's couch
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-23-2007, 06:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
I'm sure you'll get it all fixed up.
About the Gutenburg Bible, call the Landover Baptist University museum, tell them it's an emergency.
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Uh, too late about the Kraut Bible, I couldn't find your toilet paper so I kind of had to improvise. Sorry. I'll pick one up next time I'm Germany, okay? They sell them in gift shops, I'm sure.
Oh, by the way, where did you get Alice's bed from? It was the only dry one in the house, but it turns out that the thing wasn't built to survive a grown man's full weight. I'll order a new one once I know where to call.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-23-2007, 07:41 PM
Praise Jesus Trent is staying at Jeb's place. That is one house that won't have to worry about a bugler when a real American Hero® about!
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-23-2007, 08:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr.
Oh, by the way, where did you get Alice's bed from? It was the only dry one in the house, but it turns out that the thing wasn't built to survive a grown man's full weight. I'll order a new one once I know where to call.
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That thing cost 3,000 dollars, I hope you have a your credit card handy. All the info is here:
http://www.sweetdreambed.com/girlsgallery.htm
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-23-2007, 09:32 PM
Jeb, I called around as usual while you're away to check on those strange plants you're growing out back in that Barn. (Do you really need to leave the lights on night and day)?
Anyway, I couldn't get into the drive because the Fire Department seemed to have some kind of practice going on at your house. At least that's what I think it was?
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-23-2007, 09:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
Jeb, I called around as usual while you're away to check on those strange plants you're growing out back in that Barn. (Do you really need to leave the lights on night and day)?
Anyway, I couldn't get into the drive because the Fire Department seemed to have some kind of practice going on at your house. At least that's what I think it was?
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That must be why they are sending that HazMat team in from Des Moines.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-23-2007, 10:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
That must be why they are sending that HazMat team in from Des Moines.
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There's nothing to worry about, Jeb. Just keep doing your business tripping and stuff. Don't be distracted from the wonderful, awe-inspiring coolness of that stuff you're doing. You rock, Jeb.
Anyway, nobody could have predicted that your barbaque could explode. Sure, in hindsight anyone can claim they saw it coming, but their negativism isn't putting any flames out, is it?
And why is everybody ignoring all the good news? For example, your saltwater aquarium is in perfect condition, I just gave the fishes a can of fish food and they're sleeping off their meal right now. You should see 'em all, floating upside down, snoozing without a care in the world.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-23-2007, 10:17 PM
Wow Trent! I never realised an exploding Barbecue could take out so many windows
Anyway, it's really nice of you to ask me in for Dinner. those Smoked Fish were wonderful.
Don't worry Jeb, It's nothing that can't be mended.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Posts: 15,647
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-23-2007, 10:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
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Do you not think you're being a little harsh on the old war hero here? I mean, without wishing to be insensitive or nuthin', it's not like Alice really cares that much one way or another right now. I say that in the nicest possible way, of course.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-23-2007, 11:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
Anyway, it's really nice of you to ask me in for Dinner. those Smoked Fish were wonderful.
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YOU'RE DATING HIM?
Well, I guess that explains the broken bed.
Quote:
Don't worry Jeb, It's nothing that can't be mended.
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Well, I guess you've got me there, but only on a technicality.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-24-2007, 03:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
YOU'RE DATING HIM?
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This is no time for rumors of sex scandals. In fact, this is no time for criticism of any type, whatsoever! There will be plenty of time to discuss this once the crisis is over. Let's not play the blame game over who trashed whose stuff. Let's focus on solving the problem.
With that in mind, those fishes were kind of boring anyway, how about lobsters in the aquarium instead? And a shipwreck? Aquariums always look great with shipwrecks. Besides, your scale model of the Mayflower hasn't been good for much else since the utterly unexpectable barbaque tragedy.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-24-2007, 03:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr.
With that in mind, those fishes were kind of boring anyway, how about lobsters in the aquarium instead? And a shipwreck? Aquariums always look great with shipwrecks. Besides, your scale model of the Mayflower hasn't been good for much else since the utterly unexpectable barbaque tragedy.
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No lobsters, no shipwreck. Make it look the same way it was when you found it. Here's a picture in case you've forgotten:
Now, I'm thrilled to have you visiting and all, but what's your exact schedual? I'd like to know, how long you'll be visiting for. And,you know, when you're leaving. No big deal. Just a schedual, a timetable, if you will.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-24-2007, 05:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
Wow Trent! I never realised an exploding Barbecue could take out so many windows
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A Barbecue! That's what Juan my gardener was babbling about on the phone.
Hey Jeb, your' barbecue, or part of it is my backyard now. Wow, I live like a 1/2 mile from from you. It get my boys to cart it off back to your place tomorrow.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-24-2007, 09:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Hey Jeb, your' barbecue, or part of it is my backyard now. Wow, I live like a 1/2 mile from from you. It get my boys to cart it off back to your place tomorrow.
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Yeah, it's the biggest BBQ I've ever seen. Wa the biggest BBQ I'd ever seen.
Don't worry Jeb, the repairs are all going according to schedual. Everything will be fine when you getback. Just keep on doing all that business stuff that you do in Bangkok - those Mohammed Soccer Balls don't build themselves!
Quote:
Now, I'm thrilled to have you visiting and all, but what's your exact schedual? I'd like to know, how long you'll be visiting for. And,you know, when you're leaving. No big deal. Just a schedual, a timetable, if you will.
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A TIMETABLE?!?!? I'm trying to recover from ahorrific injury here, and a timetable will only make the healing process longer and more painful. Why, if I left too soon there could be infections, amputated hands, I could die! You don't wantmeto die, do you Jeb? Do you?
Oh, one more thing, I saw a mouse. Is that normal?
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
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Re: I'VE BEEN WOUNDED BY SADDAM'S WMD! -
09-24-2007, 10:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
YOU'RE DATING HIM?
Well, I guess that explains the broken bed.
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Once again Brother Jeb you are reading things into an innocent visit and turning it into SMUT!!
Brother Trent is suffering from PTSD and you are just making it worse!
The bed getting broken was nothing more than a little "Horse-play" and for a short while it made a great Trampoline.
They don't make-em like thesy used to.
Don't worry Brother Trent, I know how you suffered and you have my full support and sympathy.
Tell you what, how about a bit of target practice out back? I see Jeb has a few of those old Statues left that he picked up in England.
Foreign rubbish.
I got my Desert Eagle's out in the Car
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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