Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum
Reload this Page How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"?
Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#21)
Old
Sister Noddy's Avatar
Sister Noddy Sister Noddy is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
 
Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-08-2007, 12:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

This entire thread .... with the possible exception of Tali's posts, are making me gag, and I am sure her posts would be disgusting as well if ....
This entire thread is making me laugh out loud, Pastor, the title alone is a real attention-getter


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
Reply With Quote
(#22)
Old
Brother Guy Bayard's Avatar
Brother Guy Bayard Brother Guy Bayard is offline
Anvil of the Antipodes
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian™

 
Posts: 1,269
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: policing mockery of the free internets
Brother Guy Bayard has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Guy Bayard has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Guy Bayard has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Guy Bayard has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Guy Bayard has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Guy Bayard has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Guy Bayard has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Guy Bayard has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Guy Bayard has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Guy Bayard has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Guy Bayard has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-08-2007, 02:03 AM

But here, in the 120+ degree baking sun, even with showers and baby powder and Hai Karate aftershave, those of us 30 pounds overweight often smell like we haven't showered for weeks. Any tips?[/quote]


The Bible provides all the instruction you need here.

Whosoever shall make like unto that, to smell thereto, shall even be cut off from his people.
Exodus 30:37-38

Noone likes a fat smelly bloke. Not even God.


The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
Reply With Quote
(#23)
Old
Sister Noddy's Avatar
Sister Noddy Sister Noddy is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
 
Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-08-2007, 09:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy View Post

The Bible provides all the instruction you need here.

Whosoever shall make like unto that, to smell thereto, shall even be cut off from his people.

Exodus 30:37-38

No one likes a fat smelly bloke. Not even God.
Well there go all the overweight folks in the world, off to hell right along with the joos, demoncrats and sissy false-church christians

Guess God doesn't like most anybody, does He?


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
Reply With Quote
(#24)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-08-2007, 02:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by minister noddy View Post
Well there go all the overweight folks in the world, off to hell right along with the joos, demoncrats and sissy false-church christians

Guess God doesn't like most anybody, does He?
Well sure God hates fat people but as we discussed Baptists are opulent or big boned or, as we prefer, bountifully gifted by The Lord. Nobody is fat in our congregation.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#25)
Old
Sister Noddy's Avatar
Sister Noddy Sister Noddy is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
 
Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-08-2007, 05:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post

Well sure God hates fat people but as we discussed Baptists are opulent or big boned or, as we prefer, bountifully gifted by The Lord. Nobody is fat in our congregation.
Well gosh, Bobby-Joe, True Christians are not fat and they don't smell bad either, they are bountifully gifted, opulent and blessed!

Of course that explains it! ... an appreciative noddy


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
Reply With Quote
(#26)
Old
Trent Harvey, Jr.'s Avatar
Trent Harvey, Jr. Trent Harvey, Jr. is offline
Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Parking Lot Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Porn Resistant Eats the Most Pork True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 717
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Somebody's couch
Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-09-2007, 08:08 PM

No matter what I do, my body armor is starting to smell like a summer-long Philadelphia garbage strike.


Founder and CEO of Trickle-Down Charities™, LLC.

Current Project: Bedmates For Billionaires: Biblical eldercare straight from King David
Goal:
$500,000 Currently raised: $0.11 DONATE NOW! Yes, we accept Biblecoins!

True Christians™ believe they they exist to serve the Bible-revealed will of God.
False Christians believe the Bible exists to serve their will. GOD IS NOT YOUR YES-MAN!
Reply With Quote
(#27)
Old
Brother V's Avatar
Brother V Brother V is offline
True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Bronze Tither Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 3,477
Join Date: Sep 2006
Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-09-2007, 08:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post
No matter what I do, my body armor is starting to smell like a summer-long Philadelphia garbage strike.
Have you tried removing all of your body hair?

Supposedly "bacteria" live on the hair and eat the sweat which supposedly produces BO. You shouldn't have to remove the hair on your head, and it doesn't look like you have a problem growing a beard yet, so I recommend taking a NAIR bath.

Leviticus 19:27 Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.

YIC
V
Reply With Quote
(#28)
Old
H. Montague Worthington's Avatar
H. Montague Worthington H. Montague Worthington is offline
True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Christian Love True Christian™ Platinum Tither Real American™ Ribfest '05 True Heterosexual™ Long service medal, 1st class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once TC Bravery Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy

 
Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-09-2007, 10:42 PM

Maybe the reports that Democrats have teamed with al Qaeda to cut off all the water in Baghdad are true.
Reply With Quote
(#29)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-10-2007, 01:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother V View Post
Have you tried removing all of your body hair?

Supposedly "bacteria" live on the hair and eat the sweat which supposedly produces BO. You shouldn't have to remove the hair on your head, and it doesn't look like you have a problem growing a beard yet, so I recommend taking a NAIR bath.

Leviticus 19:27 Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.

YIC
V
Actually, that's true. Except you can't remove facial hair or be in contravention of Biblical law. And the second problem is that you remove underarm hair so you can wash with your pits with alcohol, but you gotta WASH WITH SOAP as well. The French neglect that one vital step. In fact, the French don't wash at all.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#30)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-10-2007, 02:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Opulence is indicative of wealth, good breeding, an appreciation for the finer things, and sufficient funds for lipo and an occasional course of medically supervised methamphetamine sulfate and pharmaceutical Coca plant extract on a private Carribbean island where you can rub noses...pardon the pun....with the most famous Hollywood stars.
Pastor Al!!



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
(#31)
Old
Father Maurice Lester's Avatar
Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester is offline
Ring-kissing Papist dog
 

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society True Heterosexual™ Cathlick Five years in the service of the Enemy Condemned Aardvark Devil Evil Beastiality

 
Posts: 3,358
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester Father Maurice Lester
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-10-2007, 01:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington View Post
That's what I get Delores for her birthday and Christmas. Works like a charm.


I find this somewhat remarkable, given that Ms. Judd has long been a valued bench player on the other team so to speak. I also wonder if the entire lot of Babtwits, who can usually only count to twenty-five or six (using all their digits and their teeth) have not misconstrued opulence for corpulence.




Bless you, olfactorally offensive oafs,
Father Mo






A Cardinal in the making.

Reply With Quote
(#32)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-10-2007, 03:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
I find this somewhat remarkable, given that Ms. Judd has long been a valued bench player on the other team so to speak. I also wonder if the entire lot of Babtwits, who can usually only count to twenty-five or six (using all their digits and their teeth) have not misconstrued opulence for corpulence.




Bless you, olfactorally offensive oafs,
Father Mo




What? I have more that six teeth Father Mo! That's unfair.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#33)
Old
Trent Harvey, Jr.'s Avatar
Trent Harvey, Jr. Trent Harvey, Jr. is offline
Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Parking Lot Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Porn Resistant Eats the Most Pork True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 717
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Somebody's couch
Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-16-2007, 09:24 PM

Father Maoist Lecher, the only people missing teeth in Freehold are disobedient wives and papist priests who interupt True Christian conversations.

Back to the point: is there currently a way to make the human body scentless, the way God Intended It, or do we have to wait for the free market to invent a way?

Jeb always has good business ideas, maybe he'll find some form of plastic surgery to remove sweat glands, or deal with foot obor by bringing Chinese foot-binding back into style.

Remember America, just keep being dissatisfied, and the free market will continue to prosper.



Founder and CEO of Trickle-Down Charities™, LLC.

Current Project: Bedmates For Billionaires: Biblical eldercare straight from King David
Goal:
$500,000 Currently raised: $0.11 DONATE NOW! Yes, we accept Biblecoins!

True Christians™ believe they they exist to serve the Bible-revealed will of God.
False Christians believe the Bible exists to serve their will. GOD IS NOT YOUR YES-MAN!
Reply With Quote
(#34)
Old
Deaner's Avatar
Deaner Deaner is offline
Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™

True Christian™ Long service medal, 2nd class One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Best Mullet Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '06 Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound TC Bravery Ready for the Rapture Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Flat Earth Tell her once The Lord’s Witness Wound Eats the Most Pork Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Hatchet Child Rearing Award Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Persecuted Porn Resistant Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Tagging for Jesus Saved 5 Years Divorcee Super Soaker Baptism Award Real American™ Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Truck Stop Ministry Member Chariot of Fire True Christian Hotrodder Pastor of GOD Senior Pastor 4th Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 1st Year Bible College Long service medal, 3rd class In Love With Zeke

 
Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-16-2007, 10:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post
is there currently a way to make the human body scentless
You can use lime and put it in a large sports bag if they're not too big. Of course that's only if you still have to move it around. In my opinion the first chance you get just bury it.
Reply With Quote
(#35)
Old
Trent Harvey, Jr.'s Avatar
Trent Harvey, Jr. Trent Harvey, Jr. is offline
Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Parking Lot Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Porn Resistant Eats the Most Pork True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 717
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Somebody's couch
Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-20-2007, 12:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner View Post
You can use lime and put it in a large sports bag if they're not too big. Of course that's only if you still have to move it around. In my opinion the first chance you get just bury it.
Oh, I meant living bodies. As for the dead ones, I'm pretty certain we've not run out of human remains pouches aka bodybags (I believe the initial stockpile was 100,000 H.R.P.s, which means there's got to be a few thousand left).

Anyway, the smell of death isn't as bad once you've been breathing it long enough. Get used to it and it just smells like someone barfed on a garbage heap. In short, the same as my body armor smells like after a helicopter ride over injun country.

You soon don't even notice, just like I don't notice the constant crackling and booming of fireworks displays the Iraqis are always putting on to celebrate their liberation. It's been years now, yet every day for them is the fourth of July. Amazing.


Founder and CEO of Trickle-Down Charities™, LLC.

Current Project: Bedmates For Billionaires: Biblical eldercare straight from King David
Goal:
$500,000 Currently raised: $0.11 DONATE NOW! Yes, we accept Biblecoins!

True Christians™ believe they they exist to serve the Bible-revealed will of God.
False Christians believe the Bible exists to serve their will. GOD IS NOT YOUR YES-MAN!
Reply With Quote
(#36)
Old
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.'s Avatar
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is offline
Scientific Advisor
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Publisher's Choice True Christian™ Saved 1 Year Silver Tither True Heterosexual™ Ex-Gay True Scientist™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD True Christian Provider™ award Babysitter Stamp of Approval Alternative Facts Pastor Ezekiel Christian Love True Scientist™ Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-20-2007, 01:59 PM

Brother Trent,

First off, let me thank you for all of the brave work you're doing over there to protect us over here. Spreading democracy is never an easy job. I know you're getting sick of lobster, so instead of my usual gift of 5lb Maine Lobsters, I have sent a surprise gift-basket this time, containing Beluga caviar and some Krug Clos du Mesnil to wash it down. Don't worry, I marked it "Pork Loin" so it doesn't mysteriously disappear....

In conjunction with Halliburton, I have been working on a more efficient cremation chamber, so as to minimize the mess and smell of annoying bodies and body parts. A shipment will be arriving soon, so let me know how it works. It should expedite the process of getting rid of the bodies (it has worked fabulously in Guantanamo Bay)


Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
Reply With Quote
(#37)
Old
Talitha's Avatar
Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-20-2007, 02:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. View Post
Brother Trent,


In conjunction with Halliburton, I have been working on a more efficient cremation chamber, so as to minimize the mess and smell of annoying bodies and body parts. A shipment will be arriving soon, so let me know how it works. It should expedite the process of getting rid of the bodies (it has worked fabulously in Guantanamo Bay)
Wow! Have we run out of land to bury them again?
Surely we could try burying 3 or 4 deep before building new Condo's over the top?



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



Reply With Quote
(#38)
Old
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.'s Avatar
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is offline
Scientific Advisor
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Publisher's Choice True Christian™ Saved 1 Year Silver Tither True Heterosexual™ Ex-Gay True Scientist™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD True Christian Provider™ award Babysitter Stamp of Approval Alternative Facts Pastor Ezekiel Christian Love True Scientist™ Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-20-2007, 02:34 PM

Burying them uses more tractor-time, and, from what I've heard, the tractors are stretched thin as it is, what with spreading democracy and building theme parks...


Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
Reply With Quote
(#39)
Old
H. Montague Worthington's Avatar
H. Montague Worthington H. Montague Worthington is offline
True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Christian Love True Christian™ Platinum Tither Real American™ Ribfest '05 True Heterosexual™ Long service medal, 1st class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once TC Bravery Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy

 
Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I get Rid of "Fat Smell"? - 08-21-2007, 09:31 PM

I can think of plenty of worse smells than rotting flesh, vomit, raw sewage, garbage heaps, or "fat smell."

In late 1981, my wife Delores "lost" a tampon. Her doctor "found" it in February 1984. I think he's probably still vomiting, and to tell you the truth, I don't feel very well, either.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
advice, fat smell, fatties burn in hell, iraq had it coming

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved