HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN A seasonal forum to NOT celebrate Satan's birthday. |
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Unsaved Trash, half-witted false Christian
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Posts: 93
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Wisconsin
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-07-2015, 01:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
You avoided my question. If God cared about everyone, why do you think He created Hell for most souls to endure for all eternity?
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Because the souls which refuse Him obviously don't want to be in His presence for eternity; so He created the one place without His presence.
#SellFreeholdFeedThePoor
#DownWithChurchianity
#JESUSIsAllYouNeed
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-07-2015, 01:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Tarzan
Because the souls which refuse Him obviously don't want to be in His presence for eternity; so He created the one place without His presence.
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So we agree, He doesn't really care after all.
They make their beds, they can lie in them.
Damn them to Hell.
Now will you please stop spamming this thread with your foolishness and let the menfolk get on to their plans for the upcoming witch hunt?
Thank you.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-08-2015, 10:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Tarzan
What part of "THOU SHALT NOT KILL" don't you understand...it looks like Churchianity folk are willing to disregard ANY part of the Lord's word to fit their hateful agenda.
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Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Tarzan
You eat pork and shellfish, right?
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Acts 10:10-15
10 And he became very hungry, and would have eaten: but while they made ready, he fell into a trance,
11 And saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending upon him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth:
12 Wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air.
13 And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat.
14 But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean.
15 And the voice spake unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Tarzan
If anybody is eternally damned, it's because they REFUSED God's grace though faith in His Son...
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Correct. Including millions of people who had no chance to ever heard about Jesus, which is millions of people who were born and died before the spread of Christianity to their parts of the world, and also including babies who died in their infancy, thus incapable of understanding/accepting Jesus as their Savior.
We are so lucky to have been born in a Christian first world nation, where we were exposed to Christianity since childhood and where infant mortality is low! Praise for that! He clearly loves us more than some Muslim children who die without ever hearing about Jesus, and for that sin go directly to !
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Apparently not part of the domestic staff; suspected academic
Forum Member
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Posts: 461
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: University of Iowa
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-09-2015, 12:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Tarzan
If anybody is eternally damned, it's because they REFUSED God's grace though faith in His Son...
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And this is the part of the Bible that I have most troubles with. I want to believe in a loving, caring God. Unfortunately, the Bible paints a much more cruel picture of God - as Miss Basilissa has noted, God of the Bible sends to Hell everybody who did not accept Him, which includes people who had no chance to do so in their lifetime.
Which God is real? The loving God I want to believe in, or the cruel God of the Bible? Would a loving, caring God allow millions of people to kill each other in religious wars - wars in which all sides believed they were believing in Him the correct way?... Would a loving, caring God allow people to be slaughtered, raped, and enslaved in His name?...
Or is history the proof that God is cruel and indifferent to human suffering?...
Or maybe there is no God at all and we just cling to an ancient book written by a bunch of misogynistic old men?...
Oh, how I admire the Landover Baptists for their strong faith!... I'm so afraid of Hell, and with all my doubts, that must be where I'm headed!...
John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-09-2015, 12:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Tarzan
What part of "THOU SHALT NOT KILL" don't you understand...
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God instructs us to not kill, which is different than legally executing someone as instructed by God. Can you seriously not understand the difference between legally executing someone and killing someone? What is wrong with you?
Here's a Biblically accurate hymn about God's instructions for how to deal with witches. You can ignore God's instructions if you want, but you'll be cast into the pit of eternal torture and anal rape (the bad kind) along with the witches you are trying so hard to protect! Listen and learn!
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Posts: 37
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Far to the Right
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-09-2015, 09:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dolores de Barriga
And this is the part of the Bible that I have most troubles with. I want to believe in a loving, caring God. Unfortunately, the Bible paints a much more cruel picture of God - as Miss Basilissa has noted, God of the Bible sends to Hell everybody who did not accept Him, which includes people who had no chance to do so in their lifetime.
Which God is real? The loving God I want to believe in, or the cruel God of the Bible? Would a loving, caring God allow millions of people to kill each other in religious wars - wars in which all sides believed they were believing in Him the correct way?... Would a loving, caring God allow people to be slaughtered, raped, and enslaved in His name?...
Or is history the proof that God is cruel and indifferent to human suffering?...
Or maybe there is no God at all and we just cling to an ancient book written by a bunch of misogynistic old men?...
Oh, how I admire the Landover Baptists for their strong faith!... I'm so afraid of Hell, and with all my doubts, that must be where I'm headed!...
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Sister Dolores, your questions are common ones, and have been asked, by the faithful and faithless, alike, for centuries. God is love, yet His love is often characterized as "cruel."
First off, may I suggest that you read, aloud, Psalm 31, as a prayer (much the way David did.) His prayer states and repeats the nature and character of God, which has 2 effects: it is pleasing to God (Hebrews 13: 15-16); and it builds faith.
1 In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness.
2 Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me.
3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me.
4 Pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for thou art my strength.
5 Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O Lord God of truth.
6 I have hated them that regard lying vanities: but I trust in the Lord.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities;
8 And hast not shut me up into the hand of the enemy: thou hast set my feet in a large room.
9 Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly.
10 For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed.
11 I was a reproach among all mine enemies, but especially among my neighbours, and a fear to mine acquaintance: they that did see me without fled from me.
12 I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel.
13 For I have heard the slander of many: fear was on every side: while they took counsel together against me, they devised to take away my life.
14 But I trusted in thee, O Lord: I said, Thou art my God.
15 My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me.
16 Make thy face to shine upon thy servant: save me for thy mercies' sake.
17 Let me not be ashamed, O Lord; for I have called upon thee: let the wicked be ashamed, and let them be silent in the grave.
18 Let the lying lips be put to silence; which speak grievous things proudly and contemptuously against the righteous.
19 Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!
20 Thou shalt hide them in the secret of thy presence from the pride of man: thou shalt keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues.
21 Blessed be the Lord: for he hath shewed me his marvellous kindness in a strong city.
22 For I said in my haste, I am cut off from before thine eyes: nevertheless thou heardest the voice of my supplications when I cried unto thee.
23 O love the Lord, all ye his saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer.
24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord. - Psalm 31.
Also, I have found that praying for faith is an effective weapon against doubt. Perhaps your husband can lead you in such a prayer.
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. - Psalm 46:10
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Apparently not part of the domestic staff; suspected academic
Forum Member
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Posts: 461
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: University of Iowa
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-09-2015, 10:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rodrigo
Sister Dolores, your questions are common ones, and have been asked, by the faithful and faithless, alike, for centuries. God is love, yet His love is often characterized as "cruel."
First off, may I suggest that you read, aloud, Psalm 31, as a prayer (much the way David did.) His prayer states and repeats the nature and character of God, which has 2 effects: it is pleasing to God (Hebrews 13: 15-16); and it builds faith.
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Thank you. I've read it three times, nothing. I still have my doubts. Maybe there is a God, but He just enjoys observing people killing, raping, enslaving, and pillaging each other in His name? Like some sort of an experiment, where God is the scientist and we are the lab rats? That would certainly make sense, it would explain why He never intervened, why He sent so many prophets with conflicting views of Him... He simply doesn't care about us, He just likes watching us doing inhumane things to each other. But if God really is like that, is He worthy of our worship? Or should we ignore Him as a protest against His cruelty?
Then again, I'm afraid that He's going to send me to Hell for having such thoughts...
John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 37
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Far to the Right
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-10-2015, 12:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dolores de Barriga
Thank you. I've read it three times, nothing. I still have my doubts. Maybe there is a God, but He just enjoys observing people killing, raping, enslaving, and pillaging each other in His name? Like some sort of an experiment, where God is the scientist and we are the lab rats? That would certainly make sense, it would explain why He never intervened, why He sent so many prophets with conflicting views of Him... He simply doesn't care about us, He just likes watching us doing inhumane things to each other. But if God really is like that, is He worthy of our worship? Or should we ignore Him as a protest against His cruelty?
Then again, I'm afraid that He's going to send me to Hell for having such thoughts...
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By "nothing" do you mean you don't feel or think differently than before? Likely. That's because matters of faith are not easily detected with the 5 senses. Faith is what separates us from the animals. (That, and the use of cutlery.)
Continue to read, pray, and, in time, your faith will grow, as a newly-exercised muscle. That's a promise. 1 John 2:25. And remember, God is "on your side," i.e. He wants you to believe, to succeed, and to flourish, spiritually. Anything less would be.., well, cruel.
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. - Psalm 46:10
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-10-2015, 12:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dolores de Barriga
Maybe there is a God, but He just enjoys observing people killing, raping, enslaving, and pillaging each other in His name? Like some sort of an experiment, where God is the scientist and we are the lab rats? That would certainly make sense, it would explain why He never intervened, why He sent so many prophets with conflicting views of Him... He simply doesn't care about us, He just likes watching us doing inhumane things to each other. But if God really is like that, is He worthy of our worship? Or should we ignore Him as a protest against His cruelty?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rodrigo
By "nothing" do you mean you don't feel or think differently than before? Likely. That's because matters of faith are not easily detected with the 5 senses. Faith is what separates us from the animals. (That, and the use of cutlery.)
Continue to read, pray, and, in time, your faith will grow, as a newly-exercised muscle. That's a promise. 1 John 2:25. And remember, God is "on your side," i.e. He wants you to believe, to succeed, and to flourish, spiritually. Anything less would be.., well, cruel.
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I applaud you for your patience with this Delirious woman, dear. Unfortunately, I'm afraid you're wasting your time. That poor woman might be beyond salvation. You see, her problem is not lack of faith. She seems not to deny the existence of a Creator, but rather not accept Him "as is." She wants God to be some sort of fluffy-bunny hippie love-for-all type, while the Bible clearly says that He is an angry God:
Psalm 78:49
He cast upon them the fierceness of his anger, wrath, and indignation, and trouble, by sending evil angels among them.
Isaiah 13:9
Behold, the day of the Lord cometh, cruel both with wrath and fierce anger, to lay the land desolate: and he shall destroy the sinners thereof out of it.
Even after loving couching and rebuking by several members of our congregation (Delirious is a frequent visitor near Freehold, she's sniffing around under the pretext of her Ph.D. dissertation), she still doesn't get it. She should be grateful that God allowed her to be in such a close contact with True Christians™, thus allowing her to see the Light of True Salvation. That is a unique chance that most people don't get in their lifetime (which is why most people are destined to Hell practically since conception).
Delirious - I still keep praying for you, but recently I've been doing it with less enthusiasm and less frequently.
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-10-2015, 07:01 PM
Sister Basilissa, I was wondering if Forum Members are allowed to participate -- I was allowed to participate in the Annual Stoning, and I was wondering if I could practice my skills with a gun on some unsaved witches -- my darling husband says I need the practice and what better way than with the unsaved.
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-10-2015, 07:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
Sister Basilissa, I was wondering if Forum Members are allowed to participate -- I was allowed to participate in the Annual Stoning, and I was wondering if I could practice my skills with a gun on some unsaved witches -- my darling husband says I need the practice and what better way than with the unsaved.
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My dear, given that the event will be held on on the Freehold grounds, all witch hunters will be True Christians™ who know each other well. Any non-True Christians could be mistaken for witches. You wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of the hunting, if you catch my drift.
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-10-2015, 10:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
My dear, given that the event will be held on on the Freehold grounds, all witch hunters will be True Christians™ who know each other well. Any non-True Christians could be mistaken for witches. You wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of the hunting, if you catch my drift.
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Thank you, dear sister, for ensuring my safety! I guess I'll just have to head down to the border to practice my target skills! Either way, fewer witches will abound our godly nation.
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-11-2015, 02:14 AM
I must say that after reading all the women's stuff in this thread I am quite certain that my my catch of almost 4 is doin' mighty fine and for once I really anticipate a victory!
Jeremiah 16:16
Behold, I will send for many fishers, saith the LORD, and they shall fish them; and after will I send for many hunters, and they shall hunt them from every mountain, and from every hill, and out of the holes of the rocks.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
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Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-11-2015, 02:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
I must say that after reading all the women's stuff in this thread I am quite certain that my my catch of almost 4 is doin' mighty fine and for once I really anticipate a victory!
Jeremiah 16:16
Behold, I will send for many fishers, saith the LORD, and they shall fish them; and after will I send for many hunters, and they shall hunt them from every mountain, and from every hill, and out of the holes of the rocks.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
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Wait, we've started already?
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-11-2015, 04:24 AM
I believe that the rules disqualify any witches taken before the start of the hunt, on October 31.
My own hunting group has come under considerable hostility due to our plan to use artillery. Some accuse us of wanton destruction for sport and even cheating. That will never do.
We have now decided to conduct our hunt using only old timey weaponage. Most of us plan to use bow and arrow, though spears, cudgels and other clubs, tomahawks, knives, axes, chains, metal bars, dirks, swords, hurling stones, cross bows, daggers, pikes, nigger shooters, blow pipes, pitch forks and torches, war hammers, empty bottles, maces, burning barrels of pitch, machetes, snares and traps of all sorts and so on will be allowed as well. In addition to artillery and firearms, we have forsworn hand grenades and poison gas as well. There was considerable difference of opinion over the hand grenades, but the traditionalists won out in the end.
Our target remains the same: the coven of Mrs. Carpenter, who is a clear and present danger to all Christians and humanity in general.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Landover Snake Whistler since 1971
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-11-2015, 08:44 AM
I'm not tryin' to toot my own horn here, but I've been weaving together one of the largest nets you have ever seen in your life for the past 9 months. I will set up in front of that wicca lesbian candle store (Bedlam and Beyond or whatever it's called) and lure them in with free samples of crystal light. Witches are like jews; they can't resist free things and they LOVE crystals. I believe in kristallnacht 'cause I believe in me (winning this year)! PRAISE JESUS!
Your Faithful Usher in Christ Jesus, Herman T. Periwinkle
Mark 16:18 - They shall take vp serpents, and if they drinke any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them, they shall lay hands on the sicke, and they shall recouer.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,439
Join Date: Jan 2010
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-11-2015, 10:41 PM
OK this is not funny. Someone took my bag with 237 hands of witches which I killed in accordance with Exodus 22:18. I am not at all amused here...
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
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Posts: 2,207
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-11-2015, 11:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
OK this is not funny. Someone took my bag with 237 hands of witches which I killed in accordance with Exodus 22:18. I am not at all amused here...
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Why this hardship? Alvin already mentioned any witches being taken before October 31 don´t qualify. Perhaps someone else cares:
Kind regards Roland
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Landover Snake Whistler since 1971
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Posts: 76
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Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-12-2015, 01:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland
Why this hardship? Alvin already mentioned any witches being taken before October 31 don´t qualify.
Kind regards Roland
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He's clearly speaking of his previous years' trophies, you vile beast toucher! Brother Cranky is well on his way to earning the Lifetime Achievement Award for witch trophies. Can you guess which part of the body makes the best trophy? Go on. Guess witch hand.
Your Faithful Usher in Christ Jesus, Herman T. Periwinkle
Mark 16:18 - They shall take vp serpents, and if they drinke any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them, they shall lay hands on the sicke, and they shall recouer.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,439
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Re: 2015 Witch Hunt! -
10-12-2015, 09:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland
Alvin already mentioned any witches being taken before October 31 don´t qualify.
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Alvin is mistaken. His huge love for Jesus must have distracting him from some Earthly details. This year's witch hunt already started as explained by Daisy Mae Johnson and printed on the permit. I noticed Alvin is suspiciously silent about my missing collection of witch hands...
On a related note, I need my cooling storage for the witch hunt so next weekend there will be a huge BBQ at my place to make space in my freezers. We will try to avoid the slight error from last year that caused some people to each witch meat.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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