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Default Landover Baptist Church Forum Adopt An Atheist Program - 12-08-2012, 11:53 PM

Friends, in these perilous times, there is a war on Christianity. A war on morality. A war on intelligence, meaning, and love. According to one news report, "A new poll suggests that 1 in 20 Americans now call themselves atheists, a fivefold increase from the last time the survey was taken in 2005." (link)

A Five Fold increase! I haven't done the math, but at this rate, maybe there will be no Christians left in America in five more years!

Friends, there is a vast conspiracy to make people choose the god of atheism over the LORD of Lords.

They do this by virtue of leading people to worship other gods. The god of evolution, the god of money, the god of feel-goodism.



For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Matthew 6:21

He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.
Matthew 12:30

Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
Romans 8:7


Evolutionists demand to be the only ones to teach science in schools. The IRS refuses to allow preachers to guide their flock in political matters lest they loose their tax-exempt status. Hollywood makes Christians look psychotic while atheists look normal.

There are people who would otherwise choose to fear and obey God if only there wasn't such a negative stereotype against Jesus (read "Jesus Made Me Puke" as an example). There may be closet Christians in our own extended families, neighborhoods, cities and countries!


Let us Storm the Gates of Heaven and pray for these silent victims! Let us pray for those who are fighting the spiritual war for their own soul!



And friend, if you are new to this forum, new to Christ, I invite you to ask us for help. Any True Christian™ will be happy to spiritually adopt you and pray for you! In the mean time, I urge you say this prayer to our LORD, Jesus Christ for the sake of your eternal soul. You can say it out loud, or you can whisper it silently, or you can even think it in your mind because Jesus can read minds for our convenience!


Dear LORD,

I acknowledge that you, Jesus, are the Son of God. I believe that you were born of the Virgin Mary in a miraculous way (impregnating her without the benefit of physical sperm with the Holy Spirit which is also You, by the will of God, who is also you). I believe you died on the cross for my sins, was resurrected, floated up into the air, through the atmosphere, and straight to Heaven. I know that your divinity means you were impervious to the effects of the lack of oxygen in space, that your divine body saved you from any danger of your blood boiling, your eyeballs exploding, or your lungs turning into red slush. I admit that I was born a sinner and there is nothing I could have done to prevent it. I know I have led a life of sinning by not obeying your every command. It tears me up inside. My guilt is overwhelming.

Please forgive me.

Please change my heart so I can be a willing slave and do whatever you want me to do.

Please change my heart to want to read the Holy Bible and agree with all of it.

Be my Savior.

By my LORD and Master.

I beg you, save me from the very Hell you created for me in the beginning of time in case I didn't fear and obey you.

In Jesus' Name I pray.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Landover Baptist Church Forum Adopt An Atheist Program - 12-09-2012, 12:01 AM

I do earnestly pray this too Sister Mary, indeed I do.

Thank you for your beautiful prayer, God surely touches you in the right place. I thank Jesus for your presence on His Favorite Forum®.

YBIC
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Church Forum Adopt An Atheist Program - 07-07-2013, 07:35 PM

I am adopting Lawrence Krauss. I came across this video and it brought me to tears. This man is so wrapped up in the lie of evolution, he can't help but fabricate all kinds of bizarre excuses to deny the Truth©.






Quote:
Originally Posted by Lawrence Krauss
If you think about that, somehow saying that, well, anything goes, we shouldn't offend religious beliefs by requiring kids to know - to understand reality; that's child abuse. And if you think about it, teaching kids - or allowing the notion that the earth is 6,000 years old to be promulgated in schools is like teaching kids that the distance across the United States is 17 feet. That's how big an error it is.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Landover Baptist Church Forum Adopt An Atheist Program - 07-07-2013, 08:42 PM

I'm going to adopt this young lady. She's a foreigner and deeply lost. She has any number of crazy atheistic videos on Youtube. I want to get her Saved in the worst way.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Church Forum Adopt An Atheist Program - 07-07-2013, 09:27 PM

I am adopting this young man. He is a gay atheist, a gaytheist if you will. I think I just may have a chance with this one, as he is pro gun, anti-feminist, and actually argues with his fellow Satan loving atheists.



Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Church Forum Adopt An Atheist Program - 07-07-2013, 09:45 PM

Well, I definitely would have adopted Christopher Hitchens before his passing, but it's too late now that he's dead and roasting in the lake of fire..


Revelation 20:10
And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown.
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Church Forum Adopt An Atheist Program - 07-09-2013, 01:04 PM

If he's not already taken, I'd like to adopt John Lennox, a left-wing Irish doubter; I feel he is close to accepting The Real Jesus but having translated numerous Russian mathematical texts means that the spirit of syncretism is grasping at his heart.

Those claws blind him to The Truth and he will be in my prayers. Oxford is a hotbed of atheism, where the World We See Darkly is altogether obscured.

God knew this would be the case, and my prayer is that this man should put aside childish things and rejoice with Him as outlined in the great epistle to the Corinthians, whose culture the mullioned halls of this joint so longs to emulate.

I CORINTHIANS 13
8
Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly, but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
KJV



The real Jesus is waiting for you, Mr Lennox.


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Default Re: Landover Baptist Church Forum Adopt An Atheist Program - 07-09-2013, 02:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
I am adopting Lawrence Krauss. I came across this video and it brought me to tears. This man is so wrapped up in the lie of evolution, he can't help but fabricate all kinds of bizarre excuses to deny the Truth©.



You can't deny what he says is true.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Artofburning View Post
but it's too late now that he's dead and roasting in the lake of fire..
You don't know that...


Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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Default Re: Landover Baptist Church Forum Adopt An Atheist Program - 07-09-2013, 03:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SciencefortheFools View Post
You can't deny what he says is true.
I can not only deny it, I can expose why he's wrong:



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Landover Baptist Church Forum Adopt An Atheist Program - 08-11-2013, 06:47 AM

Oh friends, this poor soul needs adopting! He needs the Spirit of Truth to set him FREE!

Hemant Mehta, aka "Friendly Atheist" looks straight into the camera and lies and lies and lies. He doesn't hate God? He compares God to Santa and the Flying Spaghetti Monster? This man doesn't know fact from fiction, and he's a public school teacher! Think of all the young souls he's trying to brainwash!



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Landover Baptist Church Forum Adopt An Atheist Program - 03-27-2014, 09:54 PM

Praise God, it looks like Ken Ham has "adopted" Bill Maher! Mr. Ham knows,

Quote:
Bill Maher is blaming God for death because he does not want to accept that he is a sinner in need of salvation. He wants to be his own god-he shakes his fist at the God who created man and also provides the gift of salvation for those who will receive it.
This is the sad state of Mr. Maher's soul - watch how he mocks the LORD's merciful drowning of every creature on earth, save Noah and his family and the few million animals who miraculously wandered into Israel and up the plank into a giant wooden crate, with no room for exercise or waste disposal:




Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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