[Witch Hammer]

As can be seen in this whimsical print from the middle ages (or the Golden Era, as I like to call it), bear baiting is steeped in tradition, and is just good, clean fun! The crowd sure seems to be enjoying itself, no?


A sport popular with the ladies, too! And what better way to display Man's dominion over beast to young Christian soldiers? Genesis 1:28


After the festivities, the half starved and pain-maddened bear will be injected with a highly modified strain of Rabies virus mixed with amphetamines ( Jesus has blessed me with a modest stockpile of both), and released near a secular playground in a neighboring town. That'll teach em to worship a rabbit instead of the Risen Christ!


And the canned hunt shall not fail to amuse, either. Through fervent prayer and calling in a few favors, I have managed to acquire a mated pair of "endangered" snow leopards! Evil looking brutes, aren't they? Is God not Good to the faithful?

Friends, I know some of you might not be able to make it out to the compound, for whatever reason, but do try! There will be food, drink, entertainment! My old friend Sheckelwise the Clown was recently released from the halfway house and is chomping at the bit to resume his youth ministry with unrestrained zeal, so make sure you bring the kids along...and BYOB! (bring your own Bible)

Hope to see you there!