[Virginia Day Templeton]

Fellow Christians,

It’s so great to be back! As some of you may know, my absence from the forums was a necessity that stemmed from a project I’ve been working on at LBU. The last six months have been wild to say the least. For reasons of security, the nature of this project has been kept secret… until now.

First, a disclaimer: while the germ of this undertaking was mine, what followed was in every way a collaborative process. Zebulun Bathfire and my husband Gary worked with me every step of the way, and we were further aided in our efforts by the boundlessly bright and dedicated graduate students of LBU’s linguistics department. Then there’s the $2 million research grant we received from the Discovery Institute. I cannot thank any of them enough. Far be it from any one of us—let alone a woman—to claim credit where none is due.

So what’s this all about, anyway? What has kept me away from your company for the better part of a year? No brief answer will suffice, but I’ll do my best. It’s about everything. It’s about life. It’s about the way we do business, the way we pay our taxes, the way we wake up in the morning, the way we drive, write, plan, see, think. We’ve developed a system that will change all of this. A few short years from now, our work will literally be everywhere you look. I mean that literally. Step away from your computer for a moment and just glance around. Do you see numbers? I’m sure you do. But what are they really? I’m not asking for anything deep here. Everyone knows what numbers represent. They are, after all, placeholders: symbols that stand for a concept. The problem is the symbols themselves.

Simply put, the numerals we use are of demonic origin.

This is hard to stomach. It may be hard to believe. After all, they’re in the Bible! The Holy Bible KJV1611 is full of these numerals. Yes, but the purpose of the Bible was to present God’s Word in terms that mankind could understand (at least those small patches of mankind worth saving, which is why it was written in English). God’s power is unlimited, but our comprehension is limited and so He had to work within those limits to achieve His purpose. The bottom line is that the raw materials of Scripture are not themselves divine—the numbers and letters no more than the ink, paper, or binding.

But back to those numbers. What’s the common name for them? They’re called Arabic numerals, although they most likely originated among the Hindus of the Indian subcontinent. Either way, we’re talking about swarthy, demon-worshiping savages! That’s right; they created our number system while smoking hashish and bowing down to this…



….and to other abominations I couldn’t even post here!

It gets worse. Whatever you want to call them, these “people” have now decided that the best way to praise their gods is to blast themselves into oblivion and take as many Christians with them as they can. The numbers we use are terror numerals. Each time you write a check or even note the time of day, Osama bin Laden gets a little gleam in his eye. Al Qaeda is winning, digit by twelve-point digit.

Somehow, it had to stop.

We found a way.

And so I present to you the Christian Numeral System.



Higher numbers are indicated by combining these ten basic digits. Fifteen, for example, looks like this:

† †††††

The first digit is in the ten’s place and the second in the one’s, with a space indicating the separation.

Radical? Perhaps. Elaborate? Certainly. But we’re living in the information age, where numbers whiz by at a hundred miles an hour and computers perform dozens of calculations in the time it took you to read this sentence. Let’s do twenty-twelve, a special year indeed:

†† O † ††

Or one of my favorite Bible passages...

Leviticus †† O:† †††
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

See? It’s easy once you get the hang of it! You may also have noticed that our symbol for zero is not the traditional Arabic "0" but is actually the letter O. While we hoped to avoid getting overtly political, this one was just too good to pass up.

The full manuscript, authored by Zebulun Bathfire with assistance from my husband Gary and myself, will be published in next month's issue of LBU's renowned peer-reviewed journal Bible Science Now! In the meantime, feel free to ask me any questions you may have concerning the project and its implications.

And again, I'm absolutely thrilled to be back!

Virginia

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Welcome back, Sister Virginia! We've missed having you here in the over †††††† months since your past visit, but were assured by the pastors that you were okay!

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton

And so I present to you the Christian Numeral System.

Attachment 13531

Higher numbers are indicated by combining these ten basic digits. Fifteen, for example, looks like this:

† †††††

The first digit is in the ten’s place and the second in the one’s, with a space indicating the separation.

Radical? Perhaps. Elaborate? Certainly. But we’re living in the information age, where numbers whiz by at a hundred miles an hour and computers perform dozens of calculations in the time it took you to read this sentence. Let’s do twenty-twelve, a special year indeed:

†† O † ††

Or one of my favorite Bible passages...

Leviticus †† O:† †††
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

See? It’s easy once you get the hang of it! You may also have noticed that our symbol for zero is not the traditional Arabic "0" but is actually the letter O. While we hoped to avoid getting overtly political, this one was just too good to pass up.

You are quite clearly on to something. JesusOS runs on 1 or 0 so it would be easy enough to make it † or 0. If we do it then this year would be †††††0††0†0. I am surprised none of the stupid secularists came up with such a cool idea.

[HTannor]

That is one scary looking woman.



What do you suppose she does with that nose when she's not picking up peanuts out of that dish?

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Originally Posted by HTannor

That is one scary looking woman.



What do you suppose she does with that nose when she's not picking up peanuts out of that dish?

It's only another one of those silly Bollywood deities that the dot-heads have come up with. With the elephant symbolism I thought for a moment it came from some sicko over at the DailyKos trying to mock Sarah Palin again.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton

See? It’s easy once you get the hang of it! You may also have noticed that our symbol for zero is not the traditional Arabic "0" but is actually the letter O. While we hoped to avoid getting overtly political, this one was just too good to pass up.

While I strongly approve of this plan overall, I'm suspicious of the letter O. I once made the mistake of reading a book by a Frenchman about O, and it turned out to have some very, very unchristian content indeed. What's worse, the pornographic story of O was actually adapted as a children's story by the notorious athiest James Thurber, showing once again how utterly twisted and amoral all non-Christians are. In addition, the Nazis planned to build "O" boats, and the O was also the name of a sinister Marxist fascist health food cult. And that's before we even get into the role the 15th letter of the alphabet plays in the name of a certain Obamination. No, I think that a truly Godly numbering system should be able to come up with a purer symbol than that. At the risk of being forward, allow me to make a few suggestions:

†† JC † ††

or how about


†† † ††?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

While I strongly approve of this plan overall, I'm suspicious of the letter O. I once made the mistake of reading a book by a Frenchman about O, and it turned out to have some very, very unchristian content indeed. What's worse, the pornographic story of O was actually adapted as a children's story by the notorious athiest James Thurber, showing once again how utterly twisted and amoral all non-Christians are. In addition, the Nazis planned to build "O" boats, and the O was also the name of a sinister Marxist fascist health food cult. And that's before we even get into the role the 15th letter of the alphabet plays in the name of a certain Obamination. No, I think that a truly Godly numbering system should be able to come up with a purer symbol than that. At the risk of being forward, allow me to make a few suggestions:

†† JC † ††

or how about


†† † ††?

I like your ideas, but feel they may complicate matters too much. How about W?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Sister VD, it's great to see you back! Imagine, you came up with that wonderful and simple system in under a year.

I wonder how long it would have taken without all the assistance you had!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

So nice to have you back Sister VD!!! I love your numeral system, even though it's kinda hard for me to understand. The crosses look so pretty.

Say, how's this?

REPENT OR BURN IN HELL †††† Ever

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

We really need to pass this on to all our homeschooling parents immediately!

†††+†††††=††††††††
†††††††††-†††††=††††

Their kids will be so much more advanced than the other children, they'll be getting into Liberty U by the time the age of † ††††††!

[WWJDnow]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

While I strongly approve of this plan overall, I'm suspicious of the letter O.

Might I humbly suggest:

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Thank you all for the kind words! It was wonderful to see so many of you at this weekend's picnic after being shut in with my work for so long.

Yes, the system is imperfect and it's still being tweaked. We are certainly open to any suggestions. We chose O to represent zero because zero is, of course, an empty placeholder with no innate value... just like a certain jug-eared usurper currently squatting in Washington. So that similarity was intentional. A more serious problem is the shape of the letter itself, which bears a disturbing resemblance to one of the most disgusting parts of the human body. I'm afraid the omega symbol is even worse in that regard. I do like Brother Temp's suggestion of the Gipper; however, I wouldn't want anybody to assume that we're calling him a "zero!"

Since the addition sign, +, is so similar to a cross already, what do you think of replacing it with a dove? We wouldn't want any youngsters getting confused when learning basic maths!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Sister, have you considered adding a figure to take the place of †††††? I'll use # in my example:

†
††
†††
†#
#
#†
#††
#†††
#††††
†O

And instead of the O, may I suggest something else . . .

After all, since Jesus came, it means nothing!

[Virginia Day Templeton]

All worth considering, Reverend. I actually like the pound sign as a five digit because it consists of five crosses.



We have to take care, though, that we don't make things too elaborate. One of our goals was to create a system that ordinary folk can pick up and use — one that makes sense to real salt of the earth Americans. Esoterism is for the East Coast elite. And people like that just won't exist in the world we hope to build.