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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Brother Baconeater Brother Baconeater is offline
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Default Hello All - 03-14-2010, 01:10 AM
My name is Brother Baconeater. I'm a bit confused, that is why I don't belong to any church right now.
I live in atheist Canada, and everyone knows it isn't a cool thing to let people know how much you love the Lord, so bonding with other strong believers like me has been pretty hard right from childhood all the way to where I am right now, pushing 50.
I know, I know, I shoulda moved to Georgia or Texas where I would be accepted, but I never had the nerve to.
The real reason I'm confused is that I like both the Christian God, and Jesus of course, but I like the Jewish God a lot too. That guy knew how to deal with people who pissed him off.
I like the Christian God because you need to believe in Him to get into heaven for ever and ever, but the turn the other cheek stuff just doesn't make sense.
I'm not crazy about the Jewish God though because he seems to be wishy washy about evilution. The Christian God has no doubt that evilution is false which it it.
Oh, and the Muslim God? Forget it. He tells people to blow themselves up in front of children for no good reason. At least the Jewish God had a reason to kill kids.

"Take your son, your only son – yes, Isaac, whom you love so much – and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will point out to you." Genesis 22:1-18
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Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
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Default Re: Hello All - 03-14-2010, 01:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Baconeater View Post
My name is Brother Baconeater. I'm a bit confused, that is why I don't belong to any church right now.
I live in atheist Canada, and everyone knows it isn't a cool thing to let people know how much you love the Lord, so bonding with other strong believers like me has been pretty hard right from childhood all the way to where I am right now, pushing 50.
Welcome, friend. How many Christian Soldiers has your wife sired for you?
You should get to work immediately fixing that not going to Church thing. An Independent Baptist church that only follows the KJV1611 should suffice. I'll call your prospective Pastor to interview him if needed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Baconeater View Post
I know, I know, I shoulda moved to Georgia or Texas where I would be accepted, but I never had the nerve to.
Indeed you should have. I had the fortune of growing up in Godly Texas. I know, try not to be jealous because that's a sin.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Baconeater View Post
The real reason I'm confused is that I like both the Christian God, and Jesus of course, but I like the Jewish God a lot too. That guy knew how to deal with people who pissed him off.
I like the Christian God because you need to believe in Him to get into heaven for ever and ever, but the turn the other cheek stuff just doesn't make sense.
I'm not crazy about the Jewish God though because he seems to be wishy washy about evilution. The Christian God has no doubt that evilution is false which it it.
Wherein lies your confusion, friend? They are one in the same.

In John 10:30, Jesus clearly says,
I and my Father are one.

God hasn't changed. He is the same forever.

1 Peter 1:25
But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Baconeater View Post
Oh, and the Muslim God? Forget it. He tells people to blow themselves up in front of children for no good reason. At least the Jewish God had a reason to kill kids.
Truer word were never spoken.
I just thank the LORD he sent you here for True Salvation®.

Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Brother Baconeater Brother Baconeater is offline
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Default Re: Hello All - 03-14-2010, 01:47 AM
I haven't sired any kids. I saved myself for marriage. Got married at 32. The evilutionist doctor gave me all kinds of gibberish reasons why nobody was getting pregnant but I know the real reason why. My sperm died of old age.
I shouldn't have waited so long, but masturbation is a sin, so I was stuck between a rock and hard place.

"Take your son, your only son – yes, Isaac, whom you love so much – and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will point out to you." Genesis 22:1-18
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Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
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True Christian™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Gunfest '06 Tithing Manager Saved 1 Year Pastor of GOD One Year/1000 posts Senior Pastor Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Tell her once Persecuted Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers 2010 Witch Hunt Award Pro-Life Outreach preacher Early riser Teabag Patriot Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Public Awareness Medal Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Long service medal, 3rd class True Scientist™ True Christian Hotrodder Touched by Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Hands Off Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Saved 5 Years Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing Saved 10 Years

 
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Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello All - 03-14-2010, 03:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Baconeater View Post
I haven't sired any kids. I saved myself for marriage. Got married at 32.The evilutionist doctor gave me all kinds of gibberish reasons why nobody was getting pregnant but I know the real reason why. My sperm died of old age.
I shouldn't have waited so long, but masturbation is a sin, so I was stuck between a rock and hard place.
Such a shame. Have you considered the likelihood that your wife is to blame? Those eggs start to rot after the age of 19 or so.

One need look no further than sister Sarah Palin as a cautionary tale of this sort of thing.

Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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No Secrets Victoria No Secrets Victoria is offline
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Default Re: Hello All - 03-14-2010, 03:55 AM
Brother Bacon, our God is the only true GOD. That's all there is to it, so don't be wasting anymore of your time thinking about the all those other make-believe GOD's.



GOD BLESS CANADIANS WHO BELIEVE IN THE REAL GOD!

King James Bible
Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
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Brother Enoch Brother Enoch is offline
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Default Re: Hello All - 03-14-2010, 04:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by No Secrets Victoria View Post
GOD BLESS CANADIANS WHO BELIEVE IN THE REAL GOD!
Counting myself, the seven soldiers for Jesus I've sired, and the scattered few Canucks who have made it to this forum, I'd extrapolate that we're talking about less than 500 people out of 34 million. Saudi Arabia probably has more True Christians™ than Canada.
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Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
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True Christian™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Gunfest '06 Tithing Manager Saved 1 Year Pastor of GOD One Year/1000 posts Senior Pastor Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Tell her once Persecuted Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers 2010 Witch Hunt Award Pro-Life Outreach preacher Early riser Teabag Patriot Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Public Awareness Medal Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Long service medal, 3rd class True Scientist™ True Christian Hotrodder Touched by Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Hands Off Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Saved 5 Years Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing Saved 10 Years

 
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Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello All - 03-14-2010, 04:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch View Post
Counting myself, the seven soldiers for Jesus I've sired, and the scattered few Canucks who have made it to this forum, I'd extrapolate that we're talking about less than 500 people out of 34 million. Saudi Arabia probably has more True Christians™ than Canada.
Godly true, Brother Enoch! The foreigners on God's Favorite Forum make up a tiny, but colorful minority. It's little people like you who make up our rich cultural diversity at LBC.

Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Hello All - 03-14-2010, 11:24 AM
Welcome, Brother! When you first posted your godly vid debunking evilution, I already hoped to hear more of you! Have you already thought about a possible career in Creation Science?

Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

Amen.

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