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Smile REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversions! - 10-10-2009, 05:31 AM

Dearest Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

This past August, some of you were aware that I took a one-week trip to Uganda for Rev. Jim Osborne's Miracle Faith Fest™. Now some of you probably never heard of Uganda, but it is a country in eastern Africa, better known as the country that Idi Amin the cannibalistic dictator ruled in the 1970's. I went to Uganda because it is one of the nations in Africa with the highest evangelical Christian population percentages (~40%).

I want to tell you that the trip was a complete success, not only for me, but for all the faithful Christians who came to attend. Tickets for the event were $50 U.S. dollars a person. Be aware that half of Uganda's population makes less than US$1.25 a day. Yet, the people who came to the Miracle Faith Fest™ were in the tens of thousands.

Doesn't that excite you to know there are people who love Christ so much, and so praying for a miracle that they are willing to save up 2 months salary to attend my event? That is called faith, my friends! God bless them.

And boy did they come! People desperate to be saved by Christ and cured of illness. Some people came to me suffering from jungle diseases. Others were in wheelchairs or crutches. Many had The AIDS. But, through all the praying and all the further donations we collected ($40,000 in one day alone! Praise Jesus!), most of the people were cured through the power of Jesus! GLORY!

It is a fact that The AIDS, cancer, paralysis, bacterial infections, and all other illnesses can be cured by Jesus. Now some people say "Well, how come not everybody who has those illnesses gets cured?" and I respond: "Because, they didn't have enough faith!"

Here are some photos of the event with some captions below.


Here I am greeting the crowd on the first day with Pastor Julius Mbamuta. Special thanks to my stylist Tina for the catchy wardrobe. We hold our Bibles high and stir the energy to conjure up mystical Jesus healing powers! Amen!



Here I am blessing the audience. This was on the 2nd day and we actually had more people than the first day. Thousands turned over every dollar they had to my ministry, hoping for a miracle cure. They are indeed blessed by Jesus, for they are like the widow in Mark 12:41-44.



Here I talk to a woman and her son who were both cured of The AIDS. They both received the disease from a deranged guerilla who raped both of them a couple years ago. Yet here she is, right in front of me, completely cured! Praise Jesus! Oh and to all those who accuse me of being racist against negroes, look how close I am standing to her. Would a racist stand so close?



This woman was paralyzed since the age of 12! She was infected by some kind of insect that transmitted some mysterious virus to her. She was in a wheelchair for 20 years, yet when she was in the audience, and praying hard, the Holy Spirit came all over her and she began to rise and walk! She promptly walked up onstage and gave her testimony of the power of faith in God! To her right is my associate pastor Rev. Roy Powers who manages my new Tithing and Donation Accounts.



Here I am on the final day with Pastor David Oloharu. We wish our dear African friends goodbye, and remind them they are blessed by God as evidenced by all the miracles that were performed by me. We then thanked them for their generous donations and were then on our way.

All and all it was a wonderful trip. To be honest, I was a bit apprehensive being surrounded by so many negroes at once, but the African variety of the species are much more passive and hospitable than the American type. I was definitely at ease with them. They were all smiles and praising Jesus. What wonderful people they were! I will definitely be back next year and hopefully we can get more people to come (the economy should be better so that's what we're expecting).

Yours in Christ,

Rev. Jim Osborne
Pastor, Landover Baptist Church
Executive Director, Rev. Jim's Wealth and Health Ministries



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 10-10-2009, 06:21 AM

Very impressive on how they saved up 2 months of their salaries. On the other hand, It is rather sad that the Ugandan population make only $1.25 US.

Congratulations on your phenomenal works.
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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 10-10-2009, 06:47 AM

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Originally Posted by Condescending View Post
Very impressive on how they saved up 2 months of their salaries. On the other hand, It is rather sad that the Ugandan population make only $1.25 US.

Congratulations on your phenomenal works.
Thank you, brother. Yes it is sad that that Uganda is rife with poverty, but I know because of their faith in Jesus, that their economy will grow and they will be rewarded with riches. They already have the faith to make it happen, now it's up to God to bless them with their rewards.



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 10-10-2009, 06:50 AM

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Originally Posted by Condescending View Post
Very impressive on how they saved up 2 months of their salaries.
What's a few months of no meat for your family compared to eternal salvation and supporting the good works of Rev. Jim's ministry?

Quote:
Congratulations on your phenomenal works.
Amen and amen. Just look at Rev. Jim's face. Even a blind man could see it (especially after being healed by Rev. Jim) that the Holy Spirit was moving powerfully in the good Reverend on that day!


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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 11-24-2009, 11:57 PM

i cant beleive you actually took their money, in a country where they needed it most, i would have accepted it kindly, then given it back. and to all those who accuse me of being racist against negroes, look how close I am standing to her. Would a racist stand so close? that sounds a lot like a racist coment.
conjure up mystical Jesus healing powers? sounds like witchcraft to me. damnation is upon you my good sir. may allah have pitty on your soul
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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 11-25-2009, 01:51 AM

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Originally Posted by viasindios View Post
i cant beleive you actually took their money, in a country where they needed it most, i would have accepted it kindly, then given it back. and to all those who accuse me of being racist against negroes, look how close I am standing to her. Would a racist stand so close? that sounds a lot like a racist coment.
conjure up mystical Jesus healing powers? sounds like witchcraft to me. damnation is upon you my good sir. may allah have pitty on your soul
look here vanishingdildo ,every member of this church gives till it hurts,after all it is the Lords money.My husband and I give almost 50% of our income to the Lord. The good Pastors use the money to spread the True Word of God around the globe.


Now you need to say you are sorry to Rev.Osborne HE is a man of GOD.
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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 11-25-2009, 01:50 PM

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Originally Posted by viasindios View Post
...... may allah have pitty on your soul


Before he sends any my way, perhaps he should start with you by turning on your Spell Checker.


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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 11-25-2009, 02:32 PM

Wonderful photos brother. I commend you on the success of your mission.

One question - are half of Ugandans actually lucky enough to be paid in $US dollars or is there some unfortunate local currency equivalent to that amount.

I am wondering if it might be appropriate to donate to a charity there.
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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 11-25-2009, 03:50 PM

The final sentence in Rev. Jim's wonderful report reads:

Quote:
I will definitely be back next year and hopefully we can get more people to come (the economy should be better so that's what we're expecting).
Perhaps your donation would be better sent directly to the Rev. Jim Travel Fund™ so that he can return next year. Sending it directly to the unfortunates in the Dark Continent where they don't have the resources on the order of the Landover Baptist Church Travel and Reimbusement Audit Committee™ might result in a misdirected allocation.


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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 11-25-2009, 04:46 PM

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Originally Posted by HTannor View Post
The final sentence in Rev. Jim's wonderful report reads:



Perhaps your donation would be better sent directly to the Rev. Jim Travel Fund™ so that he can return next year. Sending it directly to the unfortunates in the Dark Continent where they don't have the resources on the order of the Landover Baptist Church Travel and Reimbusement Audit Committee™ might result in a misdirected allocation.
That's actually a very good point brother. I shall do so. The corruption which is rife in Africa would possibly make my donation sinful in that it would go to purposes other than the Godly ones it was intended for.

Thank you and God Bless you.
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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 11-25-2009, 08:10 PM

uuum....Lola, first off, pray to god(lowercase, just for you) for a nose-job, then you can go clean off the pastors brand new Bently he bought with that money. DO you know where that money really goes to? i mean is there anything on paper that says exactly where this money goes? correct me if im wrong,i mean he could have bought a Mercedes Benz or somthing.
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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 11-25-2009, 08:16 PM

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Originally Posted by viasindios View Post
uuum....Lola, first off, pray to god(lowercase, just for you) for a nose-job, then you can go clean off the pastors brand new Bently he bought with that money. DO you know where that money really goes to? i mean is there anything on paper that says exactly where this money goes? correct me if im wrong,i mean he could have bought a Mercedes Benz or somthing.
Well, it's no secret that one of my favorite cars I own is a Mercedes Benz SL65 AMG, but I never got that car by funneling funds from those poor African people. In fact, there was no profit made on the trip since all their money went to help pay for travel expenses which rack up a fortune. I had to put all my staff and myself in a luxury hotel because of security and health reasons in that Godforsaken country, had to pay for security guards, and jet fuel for our ministry's private 747 along with the amenities isn't cheap either.

Why don't you go to Uganda and help preach the Word to the unsaved instead of sitting anonymously behind a computer and judging me?



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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 11-25-2009, 08:19 PM

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Originally Posted by viasindios View Post
uuum....Lola, first off, pray to god(lowercase, just for you) for a nose-job, then you can go clean off the pastors brand new Bently he bought with that money. DO you know where that money really goes to? i mean is there anything on paper that says exactly where this money goes? correct me if im wrong,i mean he could have bought a Mercedes Benz or somthing.
Some of Our Pastors drive foreign cars,some do not . Why should they not be comfortable in their jobs ? Should the ride a mule?

Vanishingdildo do you have a job ? Our Pastors spend a lot of time spreading the Word of God,if we the congregation can supply a little comfort to help them why is that so wrong?
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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 11-25-2009, 09:51 PM

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Originally Posted by viasindios View Post
uuum....Lola, first off, pray to god(lowercase, just for you) for a nose-job, then you can go clean off the pastors brand new Bently he bought with that money. DO you know where that money really goes to? i mean is there anything on paper that says exactly where this money goes? correct me if im wrong,i mean he could have bought a Mercedes Benz or somthing.

You should think more than twice before commenting on anything personal about one of our sisters. Her husband, Emil, doesn't take that lightly.

Speaking of noses, you don't seem to have an avatar posted. Would that be because you wish to hide your nose. Is it hooked? As in jooish hooked? Or perhaps rather flat and broad, as in Darkie?

Or "cute" and buttonish, as in fag?


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Lola Handcock Lola Handcock is offline
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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 11-25-2009, 10:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor View Post
You should think more than twice before commenting on anything personal about one of our sisters. Her husband, Emil, doesn't take that lightly.

Speaking of noses, you don't seem to have an avatar posted. Would that be because you wish to hide your nose. Is it hooked? As in jooish hooked? Or perhaps rather flat and broad, as in Darkie?

Or "cute" and buttonish, as in fag?

Thank you Brother Tannor,I sure do not understand heathens at all .They seem to feel the need to attack you personally.

Take this guy Vanishingdildo for instance he can not find fault in our responses,so he attacks my nose? Is my nose ugly ? Oh well I am sure he will get along just fine in hell!
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Don Bozo el Guapo Don Bozo el Guapo is offline
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Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 11-29-2009, 05:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loda Sludge View Post
Some of Our Pastors drive foreign cars,some do not . Why should they not be comfortable in their jobs ? Should the ride a mule?

Vanishingdildo do you have a job ? Our Pastors spend a lot of time spreading the Word of God,if we the congregation can supply a little comfort to help them why is that so wrong?
Oh where to start? First the name viasindios (way without god) sounds suspisiouly frioleronesian so that may place him on my side of the border down here with the lost tribe of Freehold. So why he prays to allah and not some corn god or snake with feathers is beyond me. And asking him if he has a JOB? Sure and I bet he has auto insurance too.And yes I drive an armored Grand Narquis but technically on this side of of the running sore you so humorously call a border I guess its forigen. Oh and by the way my technicians here at the Cantina have a Doctor/Vetranarian they use for abor whoops tummy tucks and rectal warts that might help with the nose thing.


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Charles Layton Charles Layton is offline
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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 01-10-2010, 06:18 AM

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Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
I want to tell you that the trip was a complete success, not only for me, but for all the faithful Christians who came to attend. Tickets for the event were $50 U.S. dollars a person. Be aware that half of Uganda's population makes less than US$1.25 a day. Yet, the people who came to the Miracle Faith Fest™ were in the tens of thousands.
OMG. You made them pay. You selfish, deceitful bastard. If only 10,000 came thats $500,000. And they saved up for 2 months to listen to you. How do you sleep at night?
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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 01-10-2010, 08:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles Mr.Layton View Post
If only 10,000 came thats $500,000. And they saved up for 2 months to listen to you.
2 months not long when compareds to a eternitys in hellfires, Mr.Layton

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HTannor HTannor is offline
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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 01-10-2010, 12:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles Layton View Post
OMG. You made them pay. You selfish, deceitful bastard. If only 10,000 came thats $500,000. And they saved up for 2 months to listen to you. How do you sleep at night?

Hah! That foolish comment shows how ignorant you are of the real value of bringing "The Word" to these heathen masses.

The question is not how Rev. Jim would sleep at night. The question is how well the heathens sleep at night now that they've seen the light.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

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Default Re: REV. JIM'S MIRACLES: Amazing Cures, Testimonies, and Conversi - 01-10-2010, 01:44 PM

$50 is nothing compared to the priceless value of Salvation©.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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