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Default 09-14-2006, 11:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andromeda View Post
So he's a bit of a showman and that was one of his poorer moments. He didn't intend to harm the kid and the difference between you and him is that he would fight to save his kids if they were in serious danger no matter what, whereas if you got it into your head that jesus wanted you to kill your own kid you'd first douse it in steak sauce, THEN wave it in front of a crocodile!
That's because some people are obedient to God Almighty, rather than their own publicists, and know what the Holy Bible says on the subject.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default 09-14-2006, 11:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou View Post
That's because some people are obedient to God Almighty, rather than their own publicists, and know what the Holy Bible says on the subject.
Ok, I'll bite.
Just what do you think the bible has to say on feeding kids to carnivorous reptiles?



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Default 09-14-2006, 11:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Don't be silly. Crocodiles don't like steak sauce.

"Crikey, ain't she a beauty? GAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Steve
And just how is it you know they don't like steak sauce, my dear Pastor Al?



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Default 09-14-2006, 11:25 PM

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Originally Posted by Andromeda View Post
Ok, I'll bite.
Just what do you think the bible has to say on feeding kids to carnivorous reptiles?
It says they'll bite. Now we have it firsthand.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default 09-14-2006, 11:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
It says they'll bite. Now we have it firsthand.
Oh har har. *clap clap*
Bravo. Encore.



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Default 09-14-2006, 11:35 PM

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Originally Posted by Andromeda View Post
*clap clap*
That's between you, your gynecologist and the drunken sailors that you service.
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Default 09-14-2006, 11:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andromeda View Post
Ok, I'll bite.
Just what do you think the bible has to say on feeding kids to carnivorous reptiles?

Jesus definitely has no problem feeding kids to bears and the Holy Spirit tells me that replacing bears with reptiles wouldn't make much difference.

2 Kings 2:23 And [Elisha] went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
25 And he went from thence to mount Carmel, and from thence he returned to Samaria.
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Default 09-14-2006, 11:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
That's between you, your gynecologist and the drunken sailors that you service.
Well, well, well. Another 'well thought out, original' WitchHammer patented comeback®.

No wonder you have no respect for a great man like Steve Irwin. Hmph.



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Default 09-14-2006, 11:52 PM

I have it on good authority that this Irwin demon was a hook nosed jew in addition to being a communist with a family tree filled with criminals. I have no doubt that his American widow is celebrating with the millions of dollars he was given over the years for videotaping TV programs instructing children to commit bestiality.

...Come to think of it, I'll bet she could use some intense counseling about Jesus Christ and His needs for regular love offerings. I'm thinking Pastor Pistle and I should tank up the Lear Jet and head down under....

Doing God's work is exhausting at times, but I guess someone has to do it....


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default 09-15-2006, 12:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau View Post
Jesus definitely has no problem feeding kids to bears and the Holy Spirit tells me that replacing bears with reptiles wouldn't make much difference.

2 Kings 2:23 And [Elisha] went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
25 And he went from thence to mount Carmel, and from thence he returned to Samaria.
You people take the bible literally.
Unless it says 'reptiles', it doesn't mean 'reptiles'.
Therefore, nothing about reptiles.



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Default 09-15-2006, 12:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andromeda View Post
You people take the bible literally.
Unless it says 'reptiles', it doesn't mean 'reptiles'.
Therefore, nothing about reptiles.
Foolish female! The verse you quoted deals with BEARS! Don't you know the difference? Bears are for rugs, crocodiles are for luggage.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default 09-15-2006, 12:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andromeda View Post
You people take the bible literally.
Unless it says 'reptiles', it doesn't mean 'reptiles'.
Therefore, nothing about reptiles.
That's the difference between one moved by the Holy Spirit and one, like yourself, who is without. We understand the Word on levels you cannot fathom; you simply read it(if you even bother to do that much).
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Saria Saria is offline
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Default 09-15-2006, 12:12 AM

when did we start talking about luggage?
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Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
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Default 09-15-2006, 12:20 AM

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Originally Posted by Saria View Post
when did we start talking about luggage?
1612, when we started planning to come to America at JESUS' behest.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Brother_Mike Brother_Mike is offline
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Default 09-15-2006, 12:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andromeda View Post
You people take the bible literally.
Unless it says 'reptiles', it doesn't mean 'reptiles'.
Therefore, nothing about reptiles.
I hardly think you are an authority on the Bible.

Stick to what your good at. If we want information about prostitution and immorality we'll ask you, if you want information on the Bible, you ask us. Simple.


Me
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Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
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Default 09-15-2006, 01:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andromeda View Post
You people take the bible literally.
Unless it says 'reptiles', it doesn't mean 'reptiles'.
Therefore, nothing about reptiles.
Please do not presume to lecture MEN on the Bible.

http://www.angelfire.com/mi/dinosaur...ngserpent.html


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
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Default 09-15-2006, 01:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Mike View Post
I hardly think you are an authority on the Bible.

Stick to what your (obviously spelling is not what you're good at) good at. If we want information about prostitution and immorality we'll ask you, if you want information on the Bible, you ask us. Simple.
Oh no?
I seem to recall utterly crushing you in a previous debate so however little I know about the bible, it's more than you!

However your advice is noted.
Next time I want any advice on cow tippin' or 'varmint huntin' you'll be the first person I ask.

Quote:
Please do not presume to lecture MEN on the Bible.
Give me one good reason why.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
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Default 09-15-2006, 01:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andromeda View Post
Give me one good reason why.
(1) Men are smarter than women
(2) You are wrong (because you are a woman)
(3) The Bible says so
(4) I say so


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default 09-15-2006, 01:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
(1) Men are smarter than women says who exactly? Not even the bible, the bible doesn't even mention intelligence
(2) You are wrong (because you are a woman) Does even the bible say that women are automatically wrong about everything?
(3) The Bible says so Oh, of course. The same book that says the sky is glass and the earth is flat.
(4) I say so Of course. I'm very sorry, sir, I should have known
Any other reasons?



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Default 09-15-2006, 01:44 AM

You only asked for ONE good reason. I gave you four and you still can't accept that GOD is a man.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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