Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)
Reload this Page Christmas Shopping with lizbeans
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Christmas Shopping with lizbeans - 12-13-2009, 02:30 PM



I Hope these two obvious gomer!s come to Jesus SOON. When I saw this photo on the local online news I was Sickened and Disgusted.

What do you suppose the lizzie on the Right got for her smiling "partner" on the left? I think I see a carton of cigarettes in there. Probably a few "Playgirl" magazines, too.

Perhaps they are planning to trim the tree - and the bushes - with Jock straps and Baseball caps. Vile
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christmas Shopping with lizbeans - 12-13-2009, 04:32 PM

They're probably going home to exchange "fluids" and travesties of Christmas cards: What would Jesus say?





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

Last edited by Ezekiel Bathfire; 03-26-2010 at 05:37 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christmas Shopping with lizbeans - 12-13-2009, 09:18 PM

Is that a dog toy I see in there?

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/produ...uct_id=3635657
Attached Images
 




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christmas Shopping with lizbeans - 12-13-2009, 09:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post

If that isn't the most perverse thing I've seen in all my Born days, Sister Thumper! It looks like Richard Simmons' potty tool

So yes, probably. You can tell just by looking at those two that their depravities will know no bounds
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
Senior Pastor
Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
Always Biblically correct
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Publisher's Choice True Heterosexual™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Tithing Manager Christian Love Ex-Mary Worshipper Long service medal, 2nd class Senior Pastor Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Anti-sodomy Hands Off Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christmas Shopping with lizbeans - 12-14-2009, 04:57 PM

I don't normally sympathize with queers, but I think that the one on the right gave up too easily. I'm guessing that she chose to adopt the lezbertarian deathstyle because she figured that with that face she could never find a man. Instead, she should have concentrated on making sandwiches for the men's prayer retreats:

1 Tim. 2:9-10: In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christmas Shopping with lizbeans - 12-14-2009, 05:11 PM

Pastor Peters, it was just horrible. I went back today and the entire Walmart was full of qweers! Hundreds of them! Wall-to-wall!
I had cause to suspect that even most of their Children and Babies were already were knee-deep into the Kingdom of Sodom!!!

GOD! Wow! Evidence this homey-baloney!

Why is it that only we True Christians™ seem to be able to spot this depravity?

And I tell you, the Quality of Walmart Greeters continues to go downhill at a truly alarming rate. I think most of them are probably homer!s themselves. I could get no help whatever from this one. Now where have I seen him before, with that sappy smile those awful beady little eyes? American Maniacs, perhaps?

Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer's Avatar
JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer is offline
Unsaved trash,unintelligent, undereducated, and religious hating pig
Forum Member

How dumb can you get? Hellbound Heathen Homer Cancer on Society Full of it

 
Posts: 172
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Doing satan's bidding
JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Christmas Shopping with lizbeans - 12-15-2009, 06:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post


I Hope these two obvious gomer!s come to Jesus SOON. When I saw this photo on the local online news I was Sickened and Disgusted.

What do you suppose the lizzie on the Right got for her smiling "partner" on the left? I think I see a carton of cigarettes in there. Probably a few "Playgirl" magazines, too.

Perhaps they are planning to trim the tree - and the bushes - with Jock straps and Baseball caps. Vile
If it wasn’t for Christians coming to America, pillaging lands and converting slaughtering Natives, you wouldn’t even have a country let alone amendments giving you rights,
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christmas Shopping with lizbeans - 12-15-2009, 04:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JUAN GARCIA View Post
If it wasn’t for Christians coming to America, pillaging lands and converting slaughtering Natives, you wouldn’t even have a country let alone amendments giving you rights,
If we didn't slaughter, how would you get that big juicy Steak on your plate? Eh? Homer!!!

Now I am late with my Christmas Shopping. Check back here later when I expose some more of the toe-tappers I've lately seen swarming around EVERYWHERE I GO NOW

And expose some of those never previously suspected. Like John Wayne. Like Errol Flynn. Like Laura Bush.
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Lost Sheep McUinnean's Avatar
Lost Sheep McUinnean Lost Sheep McUinnean is offline
Linguistics and Translation Consultant
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ex-Masturbator True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Real American™ Saved 1 Year Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Bronze Tither Christian Love Heaven Bound Punched the most queers Tell her once One Year/1000 posts TC Bravery The Lord’s Witness Wound Bronze Tither Pro-Life Porn Resistant Persecuted ex-sheep-shagger

 
Posts: 2,192
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: LBC Language Lab
Lost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Christmas Shopping with lizbeans - 12-15-2009, 07:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
If we didn't slaughter, how would you get that big juicy Steak on your plate? Eh? Homer!!!

Now I am late with my Christmas Shopping. Check back here later when I expose some more of the toe-tappers I've lately seen swarming around EVERYWHERE I GO NOW

And expose some of those never previously suspected. Like John Wayne. Like Errol Flynn. Like Laura Bush.
And her sister Kate too.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved