The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 5
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: God's favorite country-America
|
|
Hello There -
04-15-2012, 09:29 PM
My name's Timothy Tyler. Some of y'all might know my wife. I'm not too good with computers and the like, but I decided that since she's on here whenever she's got some free time, I better sign up too, to make sure she's not up to any mischief.
I was raised a Catholic, but I got saved after I dropped out of college (I didn't buy the sickular nonsense they use in universities). A nice young missionary on the street gave me a KJV and a pamphlet for Landover Baptist, and I knew it was right.
Met Elizabeth when I was 23. Her cherry pie was delicious, so I had to marry her right there on the spot.
Hard to pick a favorite Bible verse. Anything in Leviticus I guess. Leviticus 18:22 has always held a special place in my heart, because I've never been able to tolerate those queers.
That's about it, I guess.
YIC
Timothy Tyler
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 345
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: In my prayer closet
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-15-2012, 10:26 PM
Welcome, sweetie!
1 Corinthians 14:34 Shut up and get back in the kitchen!
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 5
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: God's favorite country-America
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-15-2012, 10:28 PM
Yeah, thanks. Now I can see what you're constantly clucking about on this infernal device.
I want roast beef when I get home.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-15-2012, 10:42 PM
Welcome to God's favorite forum. I hope you'll keep your woman in line. She yaps on constantly.
If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.
If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.
You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.
Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-15-2012, 10:42 PM
Beef is always a great meal "eat a pound of beef a day" and of course I always enjoy plenty of pork. In a way I am lucky to live in a town where the butchers are so keen to compete on quality, the standards are high and there's a thriving tourist trade to keep us all going.
Judges is a great book, I'm read chapter 9 this morning
JUDGES 9
8 The trees went foorth on a time to annoint a King ouer them, and they said vnto the Oliue tree, Reigne thou ouer vs.
9 But the Oliue tree saide vnto them, Should I leaue my fatnesse, wherewith by mee they honour God and man, and goe to bee promoted ouer the trees?
10 And the trees said to the Figge tree, Come thou, and reigne ouer vs.
11 But the Figge tree saide vnto them, Should I forsake my sweetenesse, and my good fruit, and goe to be promoted ouer the trees?
12 Then saide the trees vnto the Uine, Come thou, and reigne ouer vs.
13 And the Uine said vnto them, Should I leaue my wine, which cheareth God and man, and goe to bee promoted ouer the trees?
14 Then said all the trees vnto the Bramble, Come thou, and reigne ouer vs.
©1611
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 5
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: God's favorite country-America
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-15-2012, 10:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Welcome to God's favorite forum. I hope you'll keep your woman in line. She yaps on constantly.
If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.
If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.
You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.
Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
|
Yessir. God bless.
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 5
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: God's favorite country-America
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-15-2012, 10:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
Beef is always a great meal "eat a pound of beef a day" and of course I always enjoy plenty of pork. In a way I am lucky to live in a town where the butchers are so keen to compete on quality, the standards are high and there's a thriving tourist trade to keep us all going.
Judges is a great book, I'm read chapter 9 this morning JUDGES 9
8 The trees went foorth on a time to annoint a King ouer them, and they said vnto the Oliue tree, Reigne thou ouer vs.
9 But the Oliue tree saide vnto them, Should I leaue my fatnesse, wherewith by mee they honour God and man, and goe to bee promoted ouer the trees?
10 And the trees said to the Figge tree, Come thou, and reigne ouer vs.
11 But the Figge tree saide vnto them, Should I forsake my sweetenesse, and my good fruit, and goe to be promoted ouer the trees?
12 Then saide the trees vnto the Uine, Come thou, and reigne ouer vs.
13 And the Uine said vnto them, Should I leaue my wine, which cheareth God and man, and goe to bee promoted ouer the trees?
14 Then said all the trees vnto the Bramble, Come thou, and reigne ouer vs.
©1611
|
Pork's my favorite, mostly because it seperates me from those Christ killing joos.
I would have liked to have pork today, but somebody forgot to pick it up when she went shopping!
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 345
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: In my prayer closet
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-15-2012, 10:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy Tyler
Pork's my favorite, mostly because it seperates me from those Christ killing joos.
I would have liked to have pork today, but somebody forgot to pick it up when she went shopping!
|
I'm sorry, dear. And I'm sorry about the police showing up. I'll make sure not to cry so loudly next time.
1 Corinthians 14:34 Shut up and get back in the kitchen!
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-16-2012, 12:16 AM
Timothy, does she at least do a good job darning your socks?
I know I put that on my list of requirements for a wife. Must be able to darn socks.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-16-2012, 12:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Timothy, does she at least do a good job darning your socks?
I know I put that on my list of requirements for a wife. Must be able to darn socks.
|
I can darn socks
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-16-2012, 08:18 AM
Welcome, Mr. Tyler! I love pork too!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-16-2012, 05:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
I can darn socks
|
Is that so . . .
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 123
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In Freehold at my husbands house.
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-17-2012, 12:16 AM
Hi Daddy, I miss you.
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-17-2012, 04:40 AM
Again, Naomi?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: Hello There -
04-17-2012, 06:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Again, Naomi?
|
Maybe she'd do well to darn socks.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|