Creation Science The origins of life and the earth from a creationist (Biblical) perspective. |
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-20-2009, 02:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
1. You are not a chef
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True, and I never claimed to be
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
2. You should not be passing yourself off to married women on this forum
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Not trying to pass myself to anyone, I have one wife and while I hold nothing against those that have more, or indeed women that have more then one husband, I am VERY happy with the one I have and am not looking for any more, even on a part time basis.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
3. How are you to know that certain husbands have not forbidden their wife from making this dish? It is an affront to their dignity and authority
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I just share the joy of Pasta with others, it is form them to chose if the information I give is suitable for the path they have chosen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
4. nor attempting to over-excite nubile young ladies without the knowledge of their father
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I did not know you felt that a Pasta Salad could be that exciting
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Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
5. Such exotic dishes may raise the humors of all women and cause discomfort amongst the males of Landover.
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Not particulaly exotic as Pasta dishes go (the one listed below is much more exotic, try looking its name up)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
6. You give an effeminate impression that you are concerned with the ways of the kitchen.
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Are you sure about your orintation Mr Bathfire? That you should worry about appearing effeminate purly for having an interest in food shows that you may have some issues you have not worked out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
Sufficient?
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No not realy, as a praticing Pastafarian knowing the ways of Pasta is an act of faith.
Pasta Puttanesca
All the ingredients are just as easy to put your hands on, making this a quick and satisfying meal!
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 onion - finely chopped
2 cloves garlic - finely chopped
4 anchovy fillets - chopped
1 small red chili - deseeded and finely chopped
2 teaspoons capers - rinsed and drained
8 pitted black olives - quartered
14 oz (420g) canned tomatoes - chopped
½ teaspoon sea salt
¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
7 oz (200g) spaghetti
HEAT 2 tablespoons of the oil in a frying pan over a medium heat and cook the onion for 6 minutes, stirring occasionally. ADD the garlic and anchovies and cook for a minute, stirring to break up the anchovies. ADD the chili, capers, olives, tomatoes, salt and pepper, and bring to the boil. REDUCE the heat to medium-low and simmer, uncovered, for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. WHILE the sauce is simmering, cook the pasta. DRAIN the cooked pasta into a colander and put the sauce in the bottom of the pot. TOP with the hot pasta, parsley and reserved tablespoon of olive oil, and toss together gently to combine.
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-20-2009, 03:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Feddie
Pasta Puttanesca
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Pastors, please do something! This "man" is trying to use pasta to tempt us into whoredoms . . . this recipe is for "Pasta Make of Prostitute"!
No doubt, this is a despicable attempt to cast a wicked Pastafarian voodoo spell upon the Godly women of Landover.
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-20-2009, 05:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
Pastors, please do something! This "man" is trying to use pasta to tempt us into whoredoms . . . this recipe is for "Pasta Make of Prostitute"!
No doubt, this is a despicable attempt to cast a wicked Pastafarian voodoo spell upon the Godly women of Landover.
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Surly you have nothing to fear from a nice quick and tasty Pasta based meal?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-20-2009, 01:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Feddie
Surly you have nothing to fear from a nice quick and tasty Pasta based meal?
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I'll have you know that sister Jenny is a fine, upstanding True Christian™ girl! She has no interest in your ungodly carbohydrates!
Besides that, there is a cellulite issue involved....A rather substantial one actually....
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-20-2009, 03:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Feddie
Surly you have nothing to fear from a nice quick and tasty Pasta based meal?
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Sufficient to say Jesus never touched pasta or any such foreign nonsense so neither should we Christians.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-20-2009, 04:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Sufficient to say Jesus never touched pasta or any such foreign nonsense so neither should we Christians.
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And not to mention, he knows that he can't debunk your air tight argument, so he's posting recipes as a distraction. These aren't his recipes anyway. He's just posting passages from his Pastafarian bible.
I went out to water my cayenne peppers this morning, and found that they had all been snipped right at the ground. At first I thought I might have a cutworm, but a cutworm wouldn't take them all out in one night. So I knew it must have been that effete neighbor of mine, still mad because I sprayed Round-Up on his cucumbers.
I went over and banged on his door. He answered and said he did it because he didn't want me to be tempted to shove one of those hot peppers up my ass and end up in Hell. At first I thought that was mighty neighborly of him, if misguided, because I have grown cayenne peppers for 20 years and never considered doing anything with them but eating them.
But then I noticed the smirk on his face and I knew he did it for spite, and he was just making fun of me. I left, but didn't let on that I knew any different. I just said thanks for looking out for me, and went home.
Later today, I'm going to go buy a big bag of salt. Tonight, I will spread it on his lawn in a pattern, so that it will burn the grass away, and the scorch marks will say "Lev 20:13" in three-feet high letters.
Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.
✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-20-2009, 05:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben
And not to mention, he knows that he can't debunk your air tight argument, so he's posting recipes as a distraction. These aren't his recipes anyway. He's just posting passages from his Pastafarian bible.
I went out to water my cayenne peppers this morning, and found that they had all been snipped right at the ground. At first I thought I might have a cutworm, but a cutworm wouldn't take them all out in one night. So I knew it must have been that effete neighbor of mine, still mad because I sprayed Round-Up on his cucumbers.
I went over and banged on his door. He answered and said he did it because he didn't want me to be tempted to shove one of those hot peppers up my ass and end up in Hell. At first I thought that was mighty neighborly of him, if misguided, because I have grown cayenne peppers for 20 years and never considered doing anything with them but eating them.
But then I noticed the smirk on his face and I knew he did it for spite, and he was just making fun of me. I left, but didn't let on that I knew any different. I just said thanks for looking out for me, and went home.
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Pastor, it has long been noted how the sissy liberals hypocritically accuse us good Christian Americans (Republican Baptists) of doing the very thing they are doing. Your neighbor is doubtlessly abusing those cayenne peppers on him self as we speak.
Have you considered calling the police for this theft and act of sodomy? I urge you to act quickly because we all know how effective liberals are at hiding their crimes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben
Later today, I'm going to go buy a big bag of salt. Tonight, I will spread it on his lawn in a pattern, so that it will burn the grass away, and the scorch marks will say "Lev 20:13" in three-feet high letters.
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PRAISE The Lord Pastor you are such a Godly man. You are not giving up on your hell-bound cucumber pounding neighbor even after all of the awful things he has done. Maybe he will get the message now that Jesus loves him. GLORY!
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-20-2009, 07:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I'll have you know that sister Jenny is a fine, upstanding True Christian™ girl! She has no interest in your ungodly carbohydrates!
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To quote your fairy tale
"It is written, man shall not live by bread alone but by every word which proceedeth out of the mouth of God". Matthew 4:4.
Now the use of the word "alone" implies that you need carb's as well, so even the authors of you book acknowledge this fact of life. and what better source of carbohydrates then Pasta? Or have you fallen for the lies of the false prophet Atkins?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Besides that, there is a cellulite issue involved....A rather substantial one actually....
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So you have been paying close attention to The Sweet Placid Sister's thighs have you?
I wonder how your fellow Pastors and JennyD herself feel about this?
You undressing her thighs with your eyes is she not a member of your congregation, and don't you claim to be beyond such thoughts?
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-21-2009, 02:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Feddie
So you have been paying close attention to The Sweet Placid Sister's thighs have you?
I wonder how your fellow Pastors and JennyD herself feel about this?
You undressing her thighs with your eyes is she not a member of your congregation, and don't you claim to be beyond such thoughts?
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I'm sure you misunderstood his remark, foodie.
Whatever I cook, I serve at The Monthly Visitor. I don't want to cause the ladies who spend their unclean time of the month at my specialty resort to go home more bloated than they were when they arrived!
Surely Pastor Ezekiel is talking about that. He'd never try to look up my long dresses . . . His fiancee (BT would probably bludgeon him to death with a ham.
Speaking of which, one of the hams is missing from my cooler. You didn't take it, did you?
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-21-2009, 02:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
I'm sure you misunderstood his remark, foodie.
Whatever I cook, I serve at The Monthly Visitor. I don't want to cause the ladies who spend their unclean time of the month at my specialty resort to go home more bloated than they were when they arrived!
Surely Pastor Ezekiel is talking about that. He'd never try to look up my long dresses . . . His fiancee (BT would probably bludgeon him to death with a ham.
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Oh you may think that could be what he meant, but you just watch his eyes from now on....
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
Speaking of which, one of the hams is missing from my cooler. You didn't take it, did you?
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Oh you can be sure the missing Ham has nothing to do with me for I do not eat the flesh of the pig.
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-21-2009, 05:06 AM
How do people feel about likes of carrots and courgettes?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-21-2009, 05:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Feddie
How do people feel about likes of carrots and courgettes?
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Carrots are acceptable ONLY if sliced, diced or shredded (my fiancée sister Thumper makes a wicked good carrot-raisin salad!). Left in their original shape, they too easily encourage your average housewife to engage in unwholesome activities.
I'm sure that no one has any idea what a "courgette" might be. Is that chopped up corgi or something?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Recovering Outpatient From The Landover Rehabilitation Unit
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-21-2009, 05:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Feddie
How do people feel about likes of carrots and courgettes?
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Carrots are used by the Homosexual Agenda to influence young children to engage in fellatio. BUGS BUNNY CARTOONS RESULT OF SICK HOMOSEXUAL TRICK TO PROMOTE CROSS-DRESSING AND PLACE FAT CARROTS IN THE MOUTH FOR SUCKING PLEASURE!!!! No doubt Bugs Bunny FLUFFY TAIL LIFTED UP IN ANTICIPATION OF ANAL INTERCOURSE sent to impressionable minds by disgusting FAG CULT PROPOGANDA!!!
SPACESHIP JESUS appeared to me in Astronaut form when I was staying in a motel in 1974. He then told me the TRUTH about our world and what illusions the SATANIC ALLIANCE uses to control us! To this day, I still receive SPACESHIP RADIO SIGNALS INTO MY BRAIN. Absolve yourself of your limited Matrix existence.
Hosea 9:7 The days of visitation are come, the days of recompence are come; Israel shall know it: the prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred.
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-21-2009, 01:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Carrots are acceptable ONLY if sliced, diced or shredded (my fiancée sister Thumper makes a wicked good carrot-raisin salad!). Left in their original shape, they too easily encourage your average housewife to engage in unwholesome activities.
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Good to hear you are confident of your own sexuality not to be frightened of a salad, unlike some here
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I'm sure that no one has any idea what a "courgette" might be. Is that chopped up corgi or something?
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I'm sorry, I forgot you don't have English as a first language
A courgette
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-21-2009, 01:41 PM
Is that a ZUCCHINI!!!???
That's what the hairy Italian women use on themselves...
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-21-2009, 03:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Feddie
Good to hear you are confident of your own sexuality not to be frightened of a salad, unlike some here
I'm sorry, I forgot you don't have English as a first language
PORNO DELETED
A courgette
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Are you attempting to engage in homosexual cyber sex with us sinner?
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
05-25-2009, 11:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Are you attempting to engage in homosexual cyber sex with us sinner?
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As with many totally innocent images, your reaction says more about you then the original image.
Only a person that has problems with their repressed sexuality would see the picture I posted and anything other then a food item
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
06-09-2009, 10:45 PM
Um...I am new here, and I am all for intelligent banter and word play, etc. But this cucumber talk is disturbing. Are you guys just kidding with all this? And how does the story about a cucumber prove that God exists? I do believe in God but if I were an atheist that would only prove Christian's crazier than they already think we are. I am not trying to offend anyone, but come on guys. Let's keep it on the up and up. There is hard, scientific evidence out there we can use. We are representing The Most High here....right?
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
06-09-2009, 10:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronzebitch
Um...I am new here, and I am all for intelligent banter and word play, etc. But this cucumber talk is disturbing. Are you guys just kidding with all this? And how does the story about a cucumber prove that God exists? I do believe in God but if I were an atheist that would only prove Christian's crazier than they already think we are. I am not trying to offend anyone, but come on guys. Let's keep it on the up and up. There is hard, scientific evidence out there we can use. We are representing The Most High here....right?
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Right
Let's reason this out logically - God hates sin
- Masturbation is a sin
- God tests us for sin
- Cucumbers as quite suitable for masturbation and little else.
Therefor God created cucumbers.
Do you have a rebuttal for this? If you need scripture to back up my first three points I will furnish it. Obvious the last point is based of simple observation.
EDIT: I would also like to point out I am offering a $10,000 USD reward to anyone who can prove my argument wrong.
The ball is your court materialists.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists -
06-09-2009, 10:55 PM
Bronzebitch, if you even bothered to READ the inital post of the thread you just commented in, Bobby-Joe explained in sufficient terms the cucumber...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
The cucumber: The cucumber sleek shape is the correct size of the human hand. While one can make the weak argument that cucumbers are just that size because apes eat them and Godly micro evolution caused this them to be convenient to a human sized hand no other primate we are supposedly related to eats the cucumber, only humans. This also makes the cucumber the optimal size to be inserted into a human bodily orifice, again there is no natural reason for this. Only humans are depraved enough to violate themselves with a vegetable. Cucumbers have a tough out skin that allows them to put up to resist repeated rubbing, like what will happen when a cucumber is inserted into a human bodily orifice for purulent reasons. Again, no natural reason for this.
Evolution can not explain the cucumber. So clearly the cucumber has a creator.
Who or what is so obsessed with what humans put into their bodies that it would create a vegetable to enable it? There is only one answer; the God of the Christian Bible. Sticking things into your bum is a major point of Christianity. It is the direst of sins and God is on the constant alert for it, He is utterly outraged by it and tests humanity for it relentlessly. Clearly cucumbers are created by God as a trap for any hidden self sodomites out there.
Game over Atheists.
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SPACESHIP JESUS appeared to me in Astronaut form when I was staying in a motel in 1974. He then told me the TRUTH about our world and what illusions the SATANIC ALLIANCE uses to control us! To this day, I still receive SPACESHIP RADIO SIGNALS INTO MY BRAIN. Absolve yourself of your limited Matrix existence.
Hosea 9:7 The days of visitation are come, the days of recompence are come; Israel shall know it: the prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred.
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