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Thumbs up Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-12-2019, 05:50 PM

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Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Mister Cranky, I am more than happy to come help you out in your time of need if you ever need anything. I know how to cook and do laundry. I also do a good job of ironing clothes and beating his meat (to make it tender for later) according to my Pa.
If, as it seems to be the case, Mr. Cranky is in the market for a new bride soon, have you considered asking your father to make him an offer? You're already 17, you really ought to get hitched before it's too late.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-12-2019, 06:17 PM

My Pa dictates when I am to be married. I made no such offer to Mister Cranky. I’m no hussy that’d hit on a married man. It’s customary for women to help men in their times of hardship (i.e bake a pie or casserole). I am pretty offended you assumed that I was asking to be married even. Not my place sir!


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-12-2019, 06:30 PM

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Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
My Pa dictates when I am to be married. I made no such offer to Mister Cranky. I’m no hussy that’d hit on a married man. It’s customary for women to help men in their times of hardship (i.e bake a pie or casserole). I am pretty offended you assumed that I was asking to be married even. Not my place sir!
You seem to have misunderstood me, girl. I was merely saying that, if Mr. Cranky becomes a widower, that perhaps your father should offer you as a bride. I was not insinuating that you would do anything untoward.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-12-2019, 06:54 PM

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
You seem to have misunderstood me, girl. I was merely saying that, if Mr. Cranky becomes a widower, that perhaps your father should offer you as a bride. I was not insinuating that you would do anything untoward.
If Brother Cranky is ever looking for a new wife, he would be far more likely to choose a True Christian™ widow, a woman of good sense with her childbearing years long behind her, rather than some chit of a silly girl. Has he not suffered enough?


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-13-2019, 12:05 AM

Hold on, Mister Dennis is making it seem as though Mrs Cranky is dead or dying. Who said anything of that sort?


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-13-2019, 07:03 PM

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Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Hold on, Mister Dennis is making it seem as though Mrs Cranky is dead or dying. Who said anything of that sort?
Look, if Brother Cranky is not getting any pie and the casserole is off limits, then Mrs. Brother Cranky might as well be.
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-13-2019, 09:37 PM

Maybe you should pay her a visit, Doctor, just to make sure!


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Question Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-27-2019, 02:58 PM

Is she still on the couch?


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-27-2019, 03:28 PM

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Is she still on the couch?
I think Brother Cranky said that her sister took her away a couple of weeks back. I certainly haven't heard any more about it, and I must admit it's something of a relief not to have Mrs C calling at all hours and rambling on incoherently. You'd think when I'd told her for the third time that no, I don't know how to skin and dress a coyote she'd have given up, bless her. Anyway, Brother Cranky's telephone bill will be a lot lower this month.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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