The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Aleister Crowley: prophet of Alcoholics Anonymous -
08-24-2014, 05:31 PM
During my recent disfellowshipment from God's True Church, I was forced by secular Leviathans to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings as a condition of my probation.
During my years as a smack shooting, Goetic wizard, my occult studies led me across the subject of Aleister Crowley, founder of a secret society called the A:.A:., which I now know to be Alcoholics Anonymous.
Like Aleister Crowley my sponsor in AA told me I could believe in anything I want, as long as I reject Jesus. Then I was instructed to flagellate myself and drink vials of human blood. Knowing that my salvation depended on my sobriety, I submitted to these horrible demands. But the principalities were not satisfied.
With my spiritual force field compromised by paganology, I was abducted by aliens, which as we know, are all demons who pretend to come from the sky. The Annunaki and the Nephilim took turns raping me and taking specimens from among the piles of dislodged flesh which sputtered from my mutilated rectum. I know this means that I am a powerful warrior in Christ, because the Devil wanted me back so badly.
But I resisted this temptation by reminding myself that, no matter how pleasurable Satan's messengers may be, Satan himself is cruel and unjust. There would be no place for a fresh faced young flower like myself among the weathered denizens of the underworld, prowling like lions for whose anal virginity they may devour. I must remember that.
I believe they intend to use my ass sauce to engineer a mutant hybrid which they can wield for political mind control purposes. Knowing that this fiend is out there means we must support Paul Ryan in 2016. Let is not falter in the ways of Christ, though the menacing phalli of Satan surround us like savages upon the frontier. Let us not allow his throbbing, serpentine, undulatory, jack-rabbit meat-tenderizers find purchase in the soft, pink flesh of our netherregions.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 126
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Livingston Montana: God's Country!
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Re: Aleister Crowley: prophet of Alcoholics Anonymous -
08-24-2014, 05:42 PM
I always thought AA was a demonic group posing as being "Christian". Frankly, real men know not to drink or take abusive substances. And if they can't and get killed, so be the will of Jesus. Christianity takes strength of faith and character and a large manhood to stand up to Satan's desire for anal penetration.
I pray you have found your way back to the fold Brother!
Revelation 19:15-16 "And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, King Of Kings, And Lord Of Lords."
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Aleister Crowley: prophet of Alcoholics Anonymous -
08-24-2014, 11:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
...The Annunaki and the Nephilim took turns raping me and taking specimens from among the piles of dislodged flesh which sputtered from my mutilated rectum...
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Uh, welcome back?
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: Aleister Crowley: prophet of Alcoholics Anonymous -
08-25-2014, 12:56 AM
Well, you shouldn't have done whatever it was you did to anger the Lord so to get you disfellowshiped. If you hadn't, you wouldn't have gotten butt raped by demons.
I hope you have learned your lesson about disobedience to God. You only have one immortal soul and one anal cavity. Take care of them both, Brother.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
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Re: Aleister Crowley: prophet of Alcoholics Anonymous -
08-25-2014, 10:36 PM
Brother Levi, does Billy Bob seem a bit off to you today? I don't know what he is usually like, I don't even know know which section he is assigned to at church but maybe his section leader should be informed. I know it is a long shot but can you get cabin fever in the summertime? Maybe look in on his family?
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Aleister Crowley: prophet of Alcoholics Anonymous -
08-26-2014, 09:42 AM
This does not sound like Billy Bob at all. I think he's suffering daemon possession!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Aleister Crowley: prophet of Alcoholics Anonymous -
09-04-2014, 07:02 PM
Thank you for your concern, brethren. It has been a difficult time for me. I was minding my own business, breaking into the homes of homosexual couples to rescue their children from certain rape, when federal marshals under Obama's MKULTRA mind control program infiltrated my safe house, and sold my youthful refugees back into sexual slavery. The judge determined that I was an alcoholic, and forced me into this thinly veiled Aleister Crowley witch cult. But I am thankful to have been returned by Christ's winged messengers, unto the moist bosom of Pastor Ezekiel.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
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Re: Aleister Crowley: prophet of Alcoholics Anonymous -
09-04-2014, 07:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
Thank you for your concern, brethren. It has been a difficult time for me. I was minding my own business, breaking into the homes of homosexual couples to rescue their children from certain rape, when federal marshals under Obama's MKULTRA mind control program infiltrated my safe house, and sold my youthful refugees back into sexual slavery. The judge determined that I was an alcoholic, and forced me into this thinly veiled Aleister Crowley witch cult. But I am thankful to have been returned by Christ's winged messengers, unto the moist bosom of Pastor Ezekiel.
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Did they let you keep you axe brother?
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Aleister Crowley: prophet of Alcoholics Anonymous -
09-05-2014, 01:56 AM
Brother Billy,
I wish you could feel the moistness that your epistle created. You pierced me through and through.
I am elated to see you once again among those that love you without condition. Take up your axe, stalwart Christian warrior! Do away with all the minions of the devil. I pray that Christ's blood saturates your every pore, cleansing you of the terrible memories that I am sure being butt raped by demons might evoke.
Please let me know if there is anything - ANYTHING - I can do. I know no one with a more swift axe; no tree can stand against you and no demon can defeat you, brother!
In our Savior's love,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
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Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Aleister Crowley: prophet of Alcoholics Anonymous -
10-12-2014, 12:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis
Did they let you keep you axe brother?
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I believe that, while I wield even the crudest of implements with the strength of a thousand Goliaths, an axe is technically not a firearm, and so I may carry one legally.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 49
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: NEBRASKA
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Re: Aleister Crowley: prophet of Alcoholics Anonymous -
10-12-2014, 03:42 AM
I have found the Word of God to be the best implement for laying the enemies of True Christendom low.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Word of God
Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
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NONE CAN WITHSTAND IT"S MIGHT!
LIFE BEGINS AT CONCEPTION (Psalm 139:13-16, Jeremiah 1:5, Job 31:15, Isaiah 49:5)
MARRIAGE = 1 MAN + 1 WOMAN (Ephesians 5:22-33)
NO FOOD FOR THOSE WHO DON"T WORK (2 Thessalonians 3:10-12)
PRACTICING HOMOS AND HOMO-ENABLERS ARE LIVING IN SIN (Romans 1:26-28, 32)
BUT JESUS WILL TAKE YOU BACK AND COVER YOU IN HIS BLOOD(1 Corinthians 6:9-11)
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