The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Promise Enforcers - Men Only!

Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-11-2014, 07:31 PM
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is online now
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Posts: 680
Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

Music to a father's ears, I tell you!

My 5 year old daughter asked me this today. I had somehow forgotten to give her a preemptive beating at 6:30 am, as is customary in our household. But she, the little dear, took it upon herself to remind me!

Potential sin, especially among females, is best nipped in the bud before it can blossom into full fledged wickedness. Correct the children betimes, the Good Book™ tells us.

So, my marginally thoughtful daughter, rather than try to flee from responsibility like most females, stepped up like a little trooper and took one in the teeth for Christ. God bless her heart!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-11-2014, 07:36 PM
Attila's Wife's Avatar
Attila's Wife Attila's Wife is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Most Obedient True Christian™ True Christian Lady Best stoning bucket Touched by Jesus True Christian Beauty Ex-eurotrash Real American™ In Love With Zeke One Year/1000 posts 

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Godless England
Posts: 1,870
Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Attila's Wife will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

Awww! Sweet! Bless her. And congratulations on raising such a splendid little girl.
__________________
2 Timothy 3:16

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-17-2014, 04:30 AM
JewPincher's Avatar
JewPincher JewPincher is offline
recovering Westboro supporter
Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 101
JewPincher has bribed people to get these reputation points.JewPincher has bribed people to get these reputation points.JewPincher has bribed people to get these reputation points.JewPincher has bribed people to get these reputation points.JewPincher has bribed people to get these reputation points.JewPincher has bribed people to get these reputation points.JewPincher has bribed people to get these reputation points.JewPincher has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

The fist is very effective. My two girls were raised on beatings through a wooden spoon. They are both very obedient young ladies. You are on the right track! Good job on raising a good American Christian girl!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-17-2014, 05:06 AM
Chewer's Avatar
Chewer Chewer is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

True Christian Artist 

Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
Posts: 121
Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
Music to a father's ears, I tell you!

My 5 year old daughter asked me this today. I had somehow forgotten to give her a preemptive beating at 6:30 am, as is customary in our household. But she, the little dear, took it upon herself to remind me!

Potential sin, especially among females, is best nipped in the bud before it can blossom into full fledged wickedness. Correct the children betimes, the Good Book™ tells us.

So, my marginally thoughtful daughter, rather than try to flee from responsibility like most females, stepped up like a little trooper and took one in the teeth for Christ. God bless her heart!
Hats off to you Witch Hammer. You seem like a great father. Hopefully she will grow up to bear many sons for you.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-17-2014, 07:15 AM
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is online now
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Posts: 680
Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dipper Man View Post
Hopefully she will grow up to bear many sons for you.
What are you implying, wretch?
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-17-2014, 01:36 PM
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Posts: 17,576
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

You are a better father than I am Brother Witch Hammer! I would never use my bare hands for educating children in the love of Jesus. Especially a worthless girl. You must love Jesus a lot and even your daughter a little to hurt your own hand for them.
__________________
The Christian guide to TORTURING your children
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-17-2014, 09:25 PM
Chewer's Avatar
Chewer Chewer is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

True Christian Artist 

Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
Posts: 121
Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
What are you implying, wretch?
I misspoke Sir. I did not mean with you, or anything of that nature. I meant I hope she will grow up to have many sons so you can be a good grandfather. No disrespect, or sin intended.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-17-2014, 09:48 PM
Orem Festus Jr.'s Avatar
Orem Festus Jr. Orem Festus Jr. is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: log cabin down by the crik
Posts: 45
Orem Festus Jr. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Orem Festus Jr. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Orem Festus Jr. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Orem Festus Jr. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Orem Festus Jr. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Orem Festus Jr. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Orem Festus Jr. has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dipper Man View Post
I misspoke Sir. I did not mean with you, or anything of that nature. I meant I hope she will grow up to have many sons so you can be a good grandfather. No disrespect, or sin intended.
Tarnation,boy! Is you plumb idgit? Sassin one of them true Christians is a shore way to git mre of them red sqares i seen up by your name there. Tread real careful like,son.id hate to see what what'd be left of you if you get in a tangle with one of them fellers!
__________________
Proverbs 23:8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-18-2014, 03:33 AM
Chewer's Avatar
Chewer Chewer is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

True Christian Artist 

Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
Posts: 121
Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Chewer has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Orem Festus Jr. View Post
Tarnation,boy! Is you plumb idgit? Sassin one of them true Christians is a shore way to git mre of them red sqares i seen up by your name there. Tread real careful like,son.id hate to see what what'd be left of you if you get in a tangle with one of them fellers!
Can anyone translate this from demon possessed 4th grader to Godly English please?
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-18-2014, 04:30 AM
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is online now
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Posts: 680
Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

Why don't you two queers take your nasty little homersexual dance of seduction elsewhere, you've both tainted this thread with the stench of sin.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 04-30-2014, 01:54 PM
rolledupboob's Avatar
rolledupboob rolledupboob is offline
Unsaved trash, suspected retard
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In my mommy's closet.
Posts: 33
rolledupboob is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.rolledupboob is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.rolledupboob is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.rolledupboob is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.rolledupboob is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Thumbs up Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
Music to a father's ears, I tell you!

My 5 year old daughter asked me this today. I had somehow forgotten to give her a preemptive beating at 6:30 am, as is customary in our household. But she, the little dear, took it upon herself to remind me!

Potential sin, especially among females, is best nipped in the bud before it can blossom into full fledged wickedness. Correct the children betimes, the Good Book™ tells us.

So, my marginally thoughtful daughter, rather than try to flee from responsibility like most females, stepped up like a little trooper and took one in the teeth for Christ. God bless her heart!
All of you will rot to hell, after your children kill you of course.
Since it seems to me that i will banned soon for expressing my views, might as well tell you what i think .
Zechariah and witch hammer (sounds like a porn star) why don't you both take turns in whipping each other till you bleed and then proceed to piffle each other in the poopy holes. P.S Don't let your kids watch.
Pastor zeke and cranky old man can do the same on their own, after which they can join you both. Orgy baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-30-2014, 02:15 PM
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch. Revelation 6:8
Posts: 22,371
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

You need to beat this girl again until she learns how to ask correctly, "may I PLEASE have a knuckle sandwich?"
__________________
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-30-2014, 08:10 PM
Titus Templeton's Avatar
Titus Templeton Titus Templeton is online now
Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
Jesus macht frei
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Gold Tither Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life One Year/1000 posts True Christian Artist True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Public Awareness Medal 

Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
Posts: 4,077
Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

Glad to see everything works out for You and your family, Brother Witch Hammer.
__________________
Some things can not be explained by science. Take for example, rainbows. Rainbows are a mystery and you can not touch them, just like God. Despite this fact, they are still there even though there is no scientific explanation for them. So next time you find yourself doubting your faith, think of God as a rainbow. I know that this can be a difficult concept for some of you to grasp. It is just like air you can't see it but you know its there.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 04-30-2014, 08:14 PM
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is online now
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Posts: 680
Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rolledup View Post
All of you will rot to hell, after your children kill you of course.
Since it seems to me that i will banned soon for expressing my views, might as well tell you what i think .
Zechariah and witch hammer (sounds like a porn star) why don't you both take turns in whipping each other till you bleed and then proceed to piffle each other in the poopy holes. P.S Don't let your kids watch.
Pastor zeke and cranky old man can do the same on their own, after which they can join you both. Orgy baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go take a cold shower, pervert...then shoot yourself in the face.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 04-30-2014, 08:32 PM
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is online now
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Posts: 680
Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
You need to beat this girl again until she learns how to ask correctly, "may I PLEASE have a knuckle sandwich?"
Come to think of it, Brother, she also pronounced "sandwich" as "sammitch"...She won't get away with this outrage!

Sometimes The Lord's vengeance is a dish best served cold...

I think a series of kidney punches followed by a roundhouse kick to the face should satisfy Jesus!
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 06-10-2014, 04:48 AM
AboBibleMocker AboBibleMocker is offline
Unsaved trash, drooling abo
Under Investigation
Join Date: May 2014
Location: chewing grubs in a cave
Posts: 5
AboBibleMocker is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.AboBibleMocker is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Smile Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

She is only five. I'm sorry but she deserves a hug. Have you heard of a hug before?!?!?!?!
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 06-18-2014, 08:47 PM
AshtonK's Avatar
AshtonK AshtonK is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 8
AshtonK is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

If only my daughter were so persistent in her ways as yours.

My family only does this weekly as there are so many of us that it is tiring on myself. (I question whether I should do it more often or less, if anyone has insight, i'd appreciate it) My daughter is the only one who resists and in the end she only makes it worse on herself.

Do you have any tips on helping her understand the necessity of this and in obedience?
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 06-19-2014, 12:53 AM
Alvin Moss's Avatar
Alvin Moss Alvin Moss is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Proud Niglet Sponsorer Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts 

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 1,069
Alvin Moss is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Alvin Moss is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Alvin Moss is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Alvin Moss is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Alvin Moss is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Alvin Moss is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Alvin Moss is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Alvin Moss is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Alvin Moss is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Alvin Moss is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Alvin Moss is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

There is no substitute for a good beating, well laid on.
__________________
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:17 PM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2009 all rights reserved