[Pastor Ezekiel]

Brothers and sisters, I need ALL your prayers today, for this is my 66,666th post on this Godly forum. And though it is God's favorite, and though I know that I am covered by His sweet, sweet blood, I also know that I am a juicy target for satan.

Dog Farts! DOG FARTS!

It begins.....

Jesus cover me with your blood! Jesus cover me with your blood! Jesus cover me with your blood! Jesus cover me with your blood! Jesus cover me with your blood! Jesus cover me with your blood! Jesus cover me with your blood! Jesus cover me with your blood! Jesus cover me with your blood! Jesus cover me with your blood! Jesus cover me with your blood! Jesus cover me with your blood!

NO! Get thee HENCE!!

CALL THE Prayer Warriors! I need you boys!!

givemethebloodgivemethebloodgivemethebloodgivemeth ebloodgivemethebloodgivemethebloodgivemethebloodgi vemethebloodgivemethebloodgivemethebloodgivemetheb loodgivemethebloodgivemethebloodgivemethebloodgive methebloodgivemethebloodgivemethebloodgivemetheblo odgivemethebloodgivemethebloodgivemethebloodgiveme thebloodgivemethebloodgivemethebloodoh jesus.







Almighty God, Who delivered Your people from the bondage of the adversary, and through Your Son cast down Satan like lightning, deliver me also from every influence of unclean spirits. Command Satan to depart far from me by the power of Your only begotten Son. Rescue me from demonic imaginings and darkness. Fill me with the light of the Holy Spirit that I may be guarded against all snares of crafty demons. Grant that an angel will always go before me and lead me to the path of righteousness all the days of my life, to the honor of Your glorious Name, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and forever. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Walk with me firejesus.

Isaiah 8:19 And when they shall say unto you, Seek unto them that have familiar spirits, and unto wizards that peep, and that mutter: should not a people seek unto their God? for the living to the dead?

Miriam the hairdresser, mother of Jesus was a whore and the descendant of princes and governors who played the harlot with carpenters.€--The Babylonian Talmud, Judaism€s most holy book, Sanhedrin 106a

Having owned, at one time or another, ALL of the worlds oceans,
I'm uniquely qualified to give you advice.

1) Always buy an Ocean at HIGH TIDE. More water means More Ocean!

2) If you buy an Ocean that's being sold with it's "Contents Included",
make certain to purchase it when PLENTY of people are swimming in it.

Try to make sure that there are numerous vessels out at sea that day.
You see, both the PEOPLE, and the VESSELS will automatically become YOURS
this way!!!
This can lead to much greater profits!
For instance, on the day I bought the Pacific Ocean, I made SURE that Former President
Richard Nixon was swimming in it.
I never resold Nixon, but I enjoyed his kindly servitude for many years afterwards!

3) When buying a warm weather Ocean, such as THE INDIAN OCEAN,
make sure to bargain!

Warm weather causes severe EVAPORATION!
Don't get suckered into paying for RAIN that someone else already owns!

I hope this answers all your questions!

8 gets you 9 in Bangcock.

....There. Much better.

[Levi Jones]

This is going to require my special prayer in tongues.

la-hando-satelay-eek-condele-mosandrey-aseya-shambla-hambla-keester-tuch-shon-zooka.

You have to post again, Pastor. It's the only way to undo the evil of post number 66,666.

[Born Again Bob]

Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, he's hitting the boundary!

Push on through past the devil to righteousness!

[Whip of Japheth]

My humble prayers are for you. Your soul is very expensive for Satan and God, fight hard and keep strong estimated Pastor! You must trust in our Savior!

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man ( ): but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
1 Corinthians 10:13



Your pupil in Him
Whip of Japheth (Job Matamoros Osborne)

[Didymus Much]

Did one of invisible Romney's wives pass you some of that stash they stole from me?

That shit's not for rookies, pal, but it should fade over next six hours or thereabouts, so just relax. Put some Pink Floyd or vintage Rush on the stereo. Do not attempt to drive or operate heavy machinery.

[Dutch Girl]

Welcome to the real world, you will love it.

[WWJDnow]

Originally Posted by Levi Jones

la-hando-satelay-eek-condele-mosandrey-aseya-shambla-hambla-keester-tuch-shon-zooka

I can translate this:

You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you put your right foot in and you shake it all about.

Truly the Lord works in mysterious ways to put these words in your mouth, Brother Levi.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Dog farts?

Originally Posted by Didymus Much

Did one of invisible Romney's wives pass you some of that stash they stole from me?

That shit's not for rookies, pal, but it should fade over next six hours or thereabouts, so just relax. Put some Pink Floyd or vintage Rush on the stereo. Do not attempt to drive or operate heavy machinery.

Great. He'll be wasted on your nasty drugs and being brainwashed into Hobbitphilia and random Tolkein-inspired perversions.

[Bob4God]

Pastor Ezekiel, are you feeling well today?

Please, look at the attached ink blot test and mark one of the following choices that best explains how you feel about it:

1) Positively NOT interested at all

2) Mildly stirred, with a hunger for pizza

3) Ferociously and unashamedly aroused

This is a simple test Landover University administered to me to prove that I was not gay at all, and depending on your answer, you may be interested in heading on over to LBU for an assessment and further testing for demon possession and bewitchment that might be a risk involved with making your 66,666th.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

I've sent my prayers!

Try to think of happy times and this too shall pass.


Always by your side,

Thumper

[Zechariah Smyth]

I'm getting worried about Pastor Zeke. He hasn't posted since.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth

I'm getting worried about Pastor Zeke. He hasn't posted since.

I'm sure he's in his prayer closet, praying hard.

[Bob4God]

I just got back from driving by his house. (I have a special emergency access code for his security gate.)

Pastor Ezekiel didn't answer the door, but I saw a black cat run across his lawn.

I'm very concerned.

[Bjorn Jensen]

The Power of Christ Compels You! The Power of Christ Compels You! The Power of Christ Compels You!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by Ex-Viking

The Power of Christ Compels You! The Power of Christ Compels You! The Power of Christ Compels You!

I hope he doesn't barf.

I hate it when they barf.

It always ends up in my shoe.