Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Bible Study > Teaching His Word
Reload this Page How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex!
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#21)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Aardvark

 
Posts: 14,656
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 01-30-2011, 11:41 PM

Thank you for your support, Mr. Student. I am sure that the majority would not know whether they had been molested or not. There were about 20,000 there with one of the 5 dance areas attracting the majority of (virtually nude) sex perverts gyrating in such close proximity to one another that you couldn't tell they wouldn't know what it was..

This is outdoors, and there are "fire-sprinklers" sprinkling overhead most of the time to prevent heat exhaustion. The weather was quite pleasant though - it only got up to about 42°C - and these wretches didn't seem to sleep for days on end. But I was able to chase them with my offers of modest clothing, accompanied by my friends who were all clad in ankle-length white debutante gowns. Much more appropriate, we thought. But rather conspicuous as it turned out under ultraviolet lights and laser beams, of which there were many.

Brother Temperance is an inspiration to us all. No wonder Satan mocks. We take that as a compliment.

EXODUS 32
6
And they rose vp early on the morrow, and offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings: and the people sate downe to eate and to drinke, and rose vp to play.
7 And the Lord said vnto Moses, Goe, get thee downe: for thy people which thou broughtest out of the land of Egypt, haue corrupted themselues.




This is just the sort of environment
where Mattel could get rid of some
of their less savoury products..
Reply With Quote
(#22)
Old
Jasco69 Jasco69 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 5
Join Date: Apr 2011
Jasco69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 04-14-2011, 06:23 PM

Nice work, Nice work. Is Anal Sex ok with a women?
Reply With Quote
(#23)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Aardvark

 
Posts: 14,656
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 04-14-2011, 11:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasco69 View Post
Nice work, Nice work. Is Anal Sex ok with a women?
As for me, no sex is ok because I am single, and in fact - as seems necessary to be mentioned frequently, the debauched nature of heathen libertines being what it is - the activity is not one that ever occurs to me at all.

If you have any wives or other species whom you were planning to sodomise Mr. 69, then I really think you should discuss the matter somewhere else or preferably contact the Pastoral Team.

If you are trying to revolt me, be funny or attract the attention of some lamé clad nancy boy you are
  1. unsuccessful
  2. not
  3. in the wrong place

If you are female I would refer you to Colossians 3:5 and suggest you contact one of the deaconesses





n o t h i n g
is worse than a

lamé Elvis .
Reply With Quote
(#24)
Old
Billy Bob Jenkins's Avatar
Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
About as Straight and Manly as you can get
Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Ex-Masturbator Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Home Schooled True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot The Hatchet Child Rearing Award One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Ex-treehugger Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Mission to Korea Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 04-15-2011, 12:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasco69 View Post
Nice work, Nice work. Is Anal Sex ok with a women?
Fortunately for you, circumstances have led me to notice your post. My name is Billy Bob, and I can tell you everything you need to know about anal sex.

First of all, having anal sex makes you gay, whether you do it with a man or a woman. Only homers want to ejaculate inside of someone's anus.

Second of all, having anal sex causes AIDS and anal warts, in both parties. You don't want to have your rectum removed with an ice cream scooper by some gay friendly surgeon, do you?

Third, anal sex damages the ozone layer. Burning feces caused by friction releases methane into the atmosphere and causes global warming. Ironically, hippies and environmentalists have more anal sex than any other demographic, except for queers of course.

Fourth, God forbids sodomy, and will send you to Hell for having anal sex.

Deuteronomy 23:17 There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel.

2 Kings 23:7 And he[Josiah] brake down the houses of the sodomites, that were by the house of the LORD, where the women wove hangings for the grove.

Isaiah 3:9 The shew of their countenance doth witness against them; and they declare their sin as Sodom, they hide it not. Woe unto their soul! for they have rewarded evil unto themselves.


Jude 7 Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

If you have any further questions about the evils of anal sex and other quasi-gay behavior, feel free to ask.


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Reply With Quote
(#25)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Aardvark

 
Posts: 14,656
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 04-15-2011, 08:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
Ironically, hippies and environmentalists……
……also consume vast quantities of nitrous oxide




about 310 times
more powerful than
carbon dioxide on a
per molecule basis
Reply With Quote
(#26)
Old
photoquig photoquig is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 24
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: originally MN, now Germany.
photoquig is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 04-15-2011, 09:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
Second of all, having anal sex causes AIDS and anal warts, in both parties. You don't want to have your rectum removed with an ice cream scooper by some gay friendly surgeon, do you?

Third, anal sex damages the ozone layer. Burning feces caused by friction releases methane into the atmosphere and causes global warming. Ironically, hippies and environmentalists have more anal sex than any other demographic, except for queers of course.
im sorry billy but i have to disagree. there is no proof that AIDS is caused by anal sex. in fact, there is more "proof" that anal sex is a conspiracy by the CIA to take out the blacks and gays. Which I guess for your beliefs is an amen to your church, considering blacks and gays are evil right?

and burning feces does damage the ozone. But if you care so much about the enviroment, then why are you anti-bicycle?

but i will agree, hippys are gay.


-Son of an Israeli Christian family.
-Currently deployed soldier.
Reply With Quote
(#27)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Aardvark

 
Posts: 14,656
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 04-15-2011, 09:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by photoquig View Post
there is no proof that AIDS is caused by anal sex..
source please
Reply With Quote
(#28)
Old
Billy Bob Jenkins's Avatar
Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
About as Straight and Manly as you can get
Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Ex-Masturbator Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Home Schooled True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot The Hatchet Child Rearing Award One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Ex-treehugger Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Mission to Korea Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 04-15-2011, 11:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by photoquig View Post
im sorry billy but i have to disagree.
That's "Billy Bob".

Quote:
there is no proof that AIDS is caused by anal sex.
Then how do queers acquire it? From listening to Lady Gaga?

Quote:
in fact, there is more "proof" that anal sex is a conspiracy by the CIA to take out the blacks and gays. Which I guess for your beliefs is an amen to your church, considering blacks and gays are evil right?
I have no patience for racism, boy. Take that back and apologize to the whole forum, now.

Quote:
and burning feces does damage the ozone. But if you care so much about the enviroment, then why are you anti-bicycle?
Having anal sex with a bicycle causes just as much damage to the ozone layer.

Here is a thread that my wife prepared under my instruction, if you have need of any further information.

(BTW, thanks to sister Believer in God for the Bible Verses in that thread.)


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Reply With Quote
(#29)
Old
Jasco69 Jasco69 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 5
Join Date: Apr 2011
Jasco69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 04-18-2011, 11:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
If you have any wives or other species whom you were planning to sodomise Mr. 69, then I really think you should discuss the matter somewhere else or preferably contact the Pastoral Team.


If you are trying to revolt me, be funny or attract the attention of some lamé clad nancy boy you are
  1. unsuccessful
  2. not
  3. in the wrong place
If you are female I would refer you to Colossians 3:5 and suggest you contact one of the deaconesses





n o t h i n g
is worse than a

lamé Elvis .

Nope, purely an honest question, wondered what folks opinions on the subject was.
Re; Anal sex causing AIDS, well first there's an important distinction to be made. HIV (a virus) causes AIDS (a condition).
HIV is a sexually transmitted virus, this means that BOTH Anal and vaginal intercourse can spread the virus. People practicing Anal sex are at more risk as, regardless of the rights or wrongs of it, The anus isn't designed for sex, meaning damage is more likely to occur. This allows, one way or another for the infected partner to pass it to the uninfected one.
hope none of that is offensive, again not my intention
Reply With Quote
(#30)
Old
Born Again Bob's Avatar
Born Again Bob Born Again Bob is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class True Christian™ Eunuch. Persecuted Porn Resistant Super Soaker Baptism Award Punched the most queers Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Heterosexual™ True Christian Hotrodder

 
Posts: 2,442
Join Date: Sep 2006
Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 04-19-2011, 12:24 AM

Dear Friend,

As a fellow AIDS educator, you may find useful a short instructional ditty I wrote on the topic.

Yours in Him,
BAB
Reply With Quote
(#31)
Old
Jasco69 Jasco69 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 5
Join Date: Apr 2011
Jasco69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 04-19-2011, 08:29 PM

Thanks for that born again bob, thought provoking
Reply With Quote
(#32)
Old
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
Unsaved trash, rabid eskimo
 

Rides the Short Bus Full of it

 
Posts: 100
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: in my igloo, chewing blubber
andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 09-21-2011, 11:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Shout GLORY!! Thank you, Jesus, for sparing Brother Temperance's poop chute!

I've been preaching for years that the KJV1611 Authorized Version Bible is the ONLY TRUE Word of God.
Aint the original bible without translations more accurate then KJV? Just wondering as you take the words very litteraly.


Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.
Reply With Quote
(#33)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 09-21-2011, 11:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
Aint the original bible without translations more accurate then KJV? Just wondering as you take the words very litteraly.
Friend,

God is all powerful and all knowing. God wouldn't allow the translation of The Bible to be messed up.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#34)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 09-21-2011, 11:29 PM

They're both equally accurate, since God Himself supervised the translation. Satan tried to sabotage the King James Bible, but God was too smart for him.




O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#35)
Old
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
Unsaved trash, rabid eskimo
 

Rides the Short Bus Full of it

 
Posts: 100
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: in my igloo, chewing blubber
andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 09-21-2011, 11:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Friend,

God is all powerful and all knowing. God wouldn't allow the translation of The Bible to be messed up.
WHAT! Are you saying that God spoke to King James scholars that translated the Bible so they could translate it properly, but not to the others that have translated the bible? Now why would he do that if he doesn't allow the translation to be messed up? Would have been so much easier if he just helped out on all the translations Or just made sure it was in a language that wouldn't die out shortly after..

But I guess Satan did that. *sob*


Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.
Reply With Quote
(#36)
Old
Zechariah Smyth's Avatar
Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is offline
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Real American™ True Christian™ Christian Love The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life Teabag Patriot 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Ex-Gay Eats the Most Pork Saved 1 Year True Republican 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Babysitter Gunfest '14 Stamp of Approval Anti-sodomy Pancake Dinner Vickers Pastor Ezekiel Heaven Bound TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Cup of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Life

 
Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default 09-21-2011, 11:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
WHAT! Are you saying that God spoke to King James scholars that translated the Bible so they could translate it properly, but not to the others that have translated the bible? Now why would he do that if he doesn't allow the translation to be messed up? Would have been so much easier if he just helped out on all the translations Or just made sure it was in a language that wouldn't die out shortly after..

But I guess Satan did that. *sob*
Instead of being a sarcastic ass, you should try reading the links that Brother Temperance provided. It's all explained in the Chick Tract.

YiC,

Z. Smyth
Posted via Mobile Device
Reply With Quote
(#37)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 09-21-2011, 11:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
WHAT! Are you saying that God spoke to King James scholars that translated the Bible so they could translate it properly, but not to the others that have translated the bible? Now why would he do that if he doesn't allow the translation to be messed up? Would have been so much easier if he just helped out on all the translations Or just made sure it was in a language that wouldn't die out shortly after..

But I guess Satan did that. *sob*
If He'd guided them the second time round, they'd just have produced two identical versions, which would just have been a waste of everyone's time. Do you think it's a good idea to make God waste His precious infinite time?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#38)
Old
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
Unsaved trash, rabid eskimo
 

Rides the Short Bus Full of it

 
Posts: 100
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: in my igloo, chewing blubber
andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 09-21-2011, 11:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
It's all explained

YiC,

Z. Smyth
Posted via Mobile Device
Yes it is in science classes at school that you seem to have missed out on.


Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.
Reply With Quote
(#39)
Old
Zechariah Smyth's Avatar
Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is offline
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Real American™ True Christian™ Christian Love The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life Teabag Patriot 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Ex-Gay Eats the Most Pork Saved 1 Year True Republican 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Babysitter Gunfest '14 Stamp of Approval Anti-sodomy Pancake Dinner Vickers Pastor Ezekiel Heaven Bound TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Cup of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Life

 
Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default 09-22-2011, 04:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by andreas.karlssson View Post
Yes it is in science classes at school that you seem to have missed out on.
They are teaching about the shenanigans the catlick church pulls in SCIENCE CLASS these days?????

Glory, glory, GLORY!!!



Friend, you just made my day! Looks like we are finally starting to make some progress in this country.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
Posted via Mobile Device
Reply With Quote
(#40)
Old
andreas.karlssson andreas.karlssson is offline
Unsaved trash, rabid eskimo
 

Rides the Short Bus Full of it

 
Posts: 100
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: in my igloo, chewing blubber
andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.andreas.karlssson is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: How the King James Bible saved me from anal sex! - 09-22-2011, 03:38 PM

Naah, they are teaching the real truth, not this stuff
I know it might be hard for you to realize that always done everything you can to ignore all the evidences but sorry..


Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
anal sex causes ass demons, fags cause the aids, john, king james bible, trannys: satan's man traps, witnessing

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved