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Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting.

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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 09-12-2012, 07:54 PM

Mrs. Keeper, your meals look delectable! How nice to provide your husband with such lovely presentations for such healthy choices!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 09-21-2012, 05:43 PM

Mr. Keeper loves ANYTHING fishy!!


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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 10-02-2012, 05:25 PM

COMPANY'S COMIN'!!!



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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 10-02-2012, 11:38 PM

I ran across this horrible website filled with vile rants from an obviously unsaved woman who hates her family.

Quote:
Dear Dinner,

Let's get something straight: I love to cook. My mother loves to cook. Her mother loved to cook.

And I love food. All kinds of food.

And if you ever meet me, you will see right away that mine is not a body defined by judicious and restrained tasting of these meals...

But Dinner - one of these days, you and me are gonna meet on a dirt road in front of a dusty, run-down town at noon.

Every day you taunt me with your inevitability and your intractability.

"What's it gonna be tonight, Lydia? Huh? It better be good. Your husband and your precious children deserve delicious vittles. Its what they expect from you. But is it healthy? Is it organic? Is it also - affordable? Is it something that will not only fill their bellies but make them happy? Will they feel the love with every bite? Can you deliver? WILL YOU DELIVER? Or will you puss out and make them Annie's macaroni and cheese again?"

Suck it, Dinner. You know you can't be organic and affordable. That's a f**cking trick question. I can't hit a home run every night. It's not possible. Albert Pujols can't hit home runs every night. Sometimes Annie's is the best choice. Its all natural. And it's that or frozen pizza. And just tell me - How exactly am I supposed to cook awesome food when I am at swim team practice every night until 7:50pm? And when I come home my kids are so strung out and tired and whiny and melt down-y that they are barely able to speak English? It sounds more like this:

"MooooooooommmmeeeeheeeehiiittttmeeeeWahhhhhhwahhh hh!" It takes every ounce of patience and strength that I have just to get them in the house without losing my schmidt. And then what? You expect me to make a nice Bearnaise sauce?

Dinner, you must be out of your damn mind.
It goes on (and on and on and on) at the link. Warning: It becomes far more vile and profane as it goes on (and on and on).

And to think I found this while looking for a picture of the taste treat Widow Helen made last night:



Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 10-04-2012, 01:41 AM

Mr. Keeper is gonna get a fishy little midnight snack before bedtime.



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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 10-30-2012, 04:53 PM

I'm not sure I approve of this. I love a good weeny as much as the next wife, but this Halloween business seems ungodly to me.

Does anyone else disapprove of all these demonic decorations one sees around this time of year?



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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 10-31-2012, 04:09 AM

The japs take their little wieners and cut them up with ninja blades and make them look like tiny octopusses.

I can't say I like them.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 10-31-2012, 04:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
The japs take their little wieners and cut them up with ninja blades and make them look like tiny octopusses.

I can't say I like them.
They used to do the same thing to Americans. That's why a couple of hundred thousand of them got lit up like light bulbs.
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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 10-31-2012, 07:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitchen Keepin View Post
COMPANY'S COMIN'!!!

Oh my, I've never seen anything like it, sister! Jellied Beef Mold. I'm afraid something scares me about it.


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him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
~Matt. 10:33

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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 10-31-2012, 07:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
I ran across this horrible website filled with vile rants from an obviously unsaved woman who hates her family.

It goes on (and on and on and on) at the link. Warning: It becomes far more vile and profane as it goes on (and on and on).

And to think I found this while looking for a picture of the taste treat Widow Helen made last night:

Thanks for the warning, Rev. Yes, what a shocking site and those replying to her are of the same sluggish mindset. (I couldn't click on the Rants in My Pants subject, just couldn't.)

I'm grateful those women aren't my mother. Also, grateful that my father doesn't have to deal with such an attitude. He wouldn't. I'm one of those rare people whose parents are still happily together. That site reminded me again. Praise God!

YSiC


But whosoever shall deny me before men,
him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
~Matt. 10:33

~~~~~~~
Theme song in hell: "I Did it My Way"
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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 11-05-2012, 06:28 PM

some of the church ladies are coming over for tea!! I better get cracking on my snacks so the ladies can finish up and be gone before Mr. Keeper comes home from work.

I would NEVER expose him to useless women's chattering.



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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 11-05-2012, 09:19 PM

Pardon me for posting on this thread, Landover Ladies, but after the recent, tragic demise of the fourth Mrs Hopkins, I am struggling to find a restaurant that serves my usual breakfast staple:

Name:  crouteforestier.jpeg
Views: 619
Size:  88.0 KB

I am sorely missing my daily Croűtes Forestičre wife, and wondered if you good ladies might be able to explain to a simple man, such as myself, how to go about making this delectable dish?

YBIC
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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 11-06-2012, 05:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Matthew Hopkins View Post
Pardon me for posting on this thread, Landover Ladies, but after the recent, tragic demise of the fourth Mrs Hopkins, I am struggling to find a restaurant that serves my usual breakfast staple:

Attachment 20167

I am sorely missing my daily Croűtes Forestičre wife, and wondered if you good ladies might be able to explain to a simple man, such as myself, how to go about making this delectable dish?

YBIC
It looks like a cowpie with grass sticking out of it.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 11-06-2012, 08:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
It looks like a cowpie with grass sticking out of it.
But it tastes so good!

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Matthew Hopkins Matthew Hopkins is offline
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Matthew Hopkins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMatthew Hopkins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMatthew Hopkins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMatthew Hopkins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMatthew Hopkins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMatthew Hopkins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMatthew Hopkins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMatthew Hopkins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMatthew Hopkins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMatthew Hopkins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMatthew Hopkins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 11-06-2012, 03:14 PM

However, this was my first attempt, which was less than toothsome...


A little help, ladies?

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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 11-08-2012, 11:33 PM

Whilst I, personally, sneak behind the barn if I ever feel the need to partake of any tobacco products, I'll make sure Mr. Keeper has at least 2 packs ready during Thanksgiving Dinner.



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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 01-13-2013, 06:37 AM

Since it is a sin to labor tomorrow, The Lord's Day, I have whipped this up tonight so it will be cool and ready to unmold after Sunday Services.



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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 01-14-2013, 08:46 PM

Jello makes me jump for joy!!



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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 01-16-2013, 06:54 PM

for some of you young Christian Ladies still seeking a spouse - perhaps more mayonnaise in your Church Pot Luck offerings will attract an appropriate suitor!


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Default Re: What's for Lunch? - 01-17-2013, 07:11 PM

Mr. Keeper never turns away from a fish mold dish!!



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